Yes it's hard to beat when it's all inherited, the brain chemistry will always be off. And of course a poor environment growing up doesn't help or set us on a good path in life. So we struggle. But I am glad you are better on the meds! If you ever need a shoulder, you can always PM me, we can console each other.That’s understandable! I never wanted to be on meds either but then I tried them and realized I’m much better on them. Now I’ve accepted it’s just how I’m wired and how my brain chemistry works and that I need the meds to help fix/balance the chemicals out. For some people they do fine off the meds and that’s fine too. But for me, I need them. I was doing extremely reckless and dangerous things. Speeding (like REALLY speeding), drinking (never drinking and driving though), spending tons, etc. plus of course the attempt. That was a very impulsive decision. I also would get extremely angry and snap at everybody. I need the meds lol now I am much calmer and under control than I was last year.
And yeah, I get it from both sides. My dad I’m pretty sure has anxiety and maybe a touch of depression but idk. His dad was also an alcoholic and died young. But my mom’s family really has the mental health stuff. She had bipolar we’re pretty sure but never took meds. Also bad depression and anxiety. And alcoholism to self medicate. My grandpa had anxiety and maybe a little OCD. I think my uncle has some of the OCD and/or anxiety too. My aunt had a stint of bad depression and thoughts for a bit. And has anxiety still. Not sure if my other aunts and uncles have anything. But basically, anxiety runs through her whole family. My one cousin and her kids have anxiety too.
So I’m double whammied on anxiety and alcoholism.