Projectile Poop, Green Beans and a Sore Toe

Discussion in 'Pictures & Stories of My Chickens' started by CluckyCharms, Nov 22, 2012.

  1. It's just crazy to me that on the day of giving thanks for what we have - it would be riddled with minor catastrophes!

    So, I was washing the green beans last night for green bean casserole (it's a family tradition for Thanksgiving dinner). Well I finished them and there they were - sitting all bright and shiny (wet). One thing led to another and I somehow managed to set the palm of my hand on the edge of the plate and they went flying all over the kitchen floor. To make matters worse, our Sheltie (who is still a puppy and not 100% trained yet not to grab everything) decided to tear off after them. So there's the beans, the Sheltie, and me chasing the Sheltie around and telling him NO!! I banged my head on the table when I was bending over to grab him. He ended up with the runs all night long and is now sleeping comfortably on his dog bed (me, no sleep at all because I was busy cleaning up doggy poo and then hurling afterward) yes, beware, some dogs will get the runs with green beans.

    So...I figured it can't really get much worse than that, right? Yeh - it can.

    I didn't know a turkey had to be thawed before cooking it so I didn't start thawing it until 4am this morning, in the kitchen sink in a pot, not knowing if it would ever be thawed out in time to eat it today. THEN I found out there are "innards" in the turkey - I had dry heaves each time I made the attempt to get in there and pull it out. Thankfully that area was still frozen when I first made the attempts so I left it alone.

    THEN I remembered I forgot to change the chicks' water that evening prior (I change it out twice a day) so I walk in there, refill their waterers, and clean up poops. We have three brooders. One has our 4 week old Norwegian Jaerhons in it. One has our week old? GLB, easter eggers and golden buff, and one has a lone GLB with an attitude. So I get to Mr. NcNaughtyface's (the mean one's) brooder and there's no poop in it from the midday cleaning. YAY it's probably pasty butt....

    SO IN the bathroom I go with Mr. McNaughtyface. I'm holding him over the sink while dabbing his bohonkus with warm water on a cotton ball. Some came off, but there was still a crustycake on his vent. Soooo...without thinking I lifted him higher up so I could get a better angle and see what I was doing. I didn't want to mess up and mistake his "bellybutton stuff" for poop.

    You guessed it - the crustycake came off and Mr. McNaughtyface projectile pooped RIGHT in my EYEBALL. I will tell you one thing - onions and smoke are NOTHING compared to the pain that radiates through your entire eye socket - when you get chicken poop in there! So there I was with chickenpoo eye, screaming at the top of my lungs, which made Mr. McNaughtyface scream at the top of his lungs, which made my husband race into the bathroom, which made him slip on the floor and crash into me, which made me jab my finger into my already painful eyeball, because I was covering it with that hand and holding Mr. McNaughtyface with the other. SO there I am, screaming, chick's screaming, poop in the eye and now I just "squished it" all over the place when hubby slammed into me after slipping. Consequently he stubbed his toe on the base of the shower entry and therefore he was hollerin and hopping around on one foot, which caused him to hop on MY foot which caused not only my eyeball to hurt but my foot as well.

    He takes Mr. McNaughtyface from me and puts him in his brooder while I flush the ever lovin' daylights out of my poor eyeball. It burnnnnnned so horribly I can't even explain it. I still can't see out of that eye 100% yet and I'm not sure if it was from the chicken crap or the finger poke...or a combination of both.

    Finally my eye was all flushed out, Mr. McNaughtyface was poopin' freely, hubby's toe was better from the initial stubbing, and everything was right in my world...until...

    ...I realized the blasted water was STILL RUNNING over the turkey into the pot all this time. I went back into the kitchen which was now partially flooded with raw turkey juice and water.


  2. sumi

    sumi Égalité Staff Member

    Jun 28, 2011
    Rep of Ireland
    Oh Clucky [​IMG] I guess now would not be good time to tell you ACV helps prevent pasty butt? [​IMG] Have a doctor look at your eye a.s.a.p. Please.

    I hope the rest of your day will be uneventful! Happy Thanksgiving!
  3. The Howards

    The Howards Songster

    Sorry your day has started off so wrong. But I have to say that was hilarious! Hope it gets better [​IMG]
  4. They're drinking acv water and eating chick starter. I have no idea why he's the only one with pasty butt...but he's been a problem child since he hatched.

    I'll go to the doc for my eye if it doesn't get better by tomorrow, thanks for your concern. [​IMG] I really think it's more to do with me jabbing my finger into it when hubby collided with me than it does with chicken poo. I did flush it out really well.

    It's almost 10am now and all the "mess" has long since been cleaned up and the new batch of green beans is ready for the casserole...things are looking up.

    The only thing I haven't done is taken the innards out of the turkey - it's still making me gag. Hubs said he would do that part so I may just take him up on that. :)
  5. blueberrychickens

    blueberrychickens Songster

    May 12, 2010
    Hudson, MA
    I fish out the innards w/ a pair of tongs......makes it easier on me, no gagging!

  6. THAT is an excellent idea!!! Thanks!! I think I could probably handle that. :D It's still frozen on the inside so we have it sitting in salted water. =/ We'll be eating late I think but oh well...better late than never.
  7. sumi

    sumi Égalité Staff Member

    Jun 28, 2011
    Rep of Ireland
    I read an article years ago in a magazine about a guy who looked up and a pigeon dropped a poopie in his eyes. Now what are the odds? Anyway, he can still see, but his eyes got damaged. Which is why I said you must have it looked at. I'm sure little chick poo isn't quite as potent, but better play it safe! Good thing you were able to rinse it quickly!
    Enjoy the beans and put DH to work on that turkey. He owes you a favour after standing on your foot while you were already in agony [​IMG]
  8. theoldchick

    theoldchick The Chicken Whisperer Premium Member

    May 11, 2010
    Oh my! I'm sorry. I laughed, but I'm sorry.
  9. abbey808

    abbey808 Songster

    Jun 30, 2011
    Your story was hilarious! I feel awful for laughing at your misfortune. You told it so well though that I could practically picture the chaos, lol.

    On the serious side, I do hope your eye feels better.

    This will definitely be a Thanksgiving to remember. [​IMG]

  10. The Howards

    The Howards Songster

    Did your day improve? Is your eye ok?

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