Puns for Educated Minds

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Whispering Winds, Sep 24, 2010.

  1. Whispering Winds

    Whispering Winds Chillin' With My Peeps

    1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.



    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian



    3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.



    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.



    5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.



    6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.



    7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.



    8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.



    9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.



    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.



    11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.



    12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'



    13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.



    14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'



    15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.



    16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.



    17. A backward poet writes inverse.



    18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.



    19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.



    20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .



    21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'



    22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'



    23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.



    24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'



    25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.



    26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
     
  2. Q9

    Q9 General Headache

    *Nearly dies with laughter* I LOVE puns!
     
  3. marytoast

    marytoast Chillin' With My Peeps

    783
    1
    141
    Dec 31, 2008
    Carthage, NC
    I love it!!!! [​IMG]
     
  4. hoosier

    hoosier Chillin' With My Peeps

    [​IMG]
     
  5. rebelcowboysnb

    rebelcowboysnb Confederate Money Farm

    lol
     
  6. Nicola

    Nicola Chook Cuddlin' Aussie

    Feb 23, 2009
    ACT
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  7. FourPawz

    FourPawz Chillin' With My Peeps

    938
    3
    133
    Apr 2, 2010
    Virginia
    Linoleum Blownapart

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  8. PineappleMama

    PineappleMama Chillin' With My Peeps

    Linoleum Blownapart [​IMG]

    A good pun is it's own reword.
     
  9. BorderKelpie

    BorderKelpie Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 1, 2009
    outside Dallas
    Encore!

    more puns, please


    [​IMG]
     
  10. TigerLilly

    TigerLilly I failed Chicken Math

    Jul 18, 2010
    Central Florida
    Quote:[​IMG] LOVED 'EM-- keep 'em comin'!
     

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