Rant on my step-mom....

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Ms.FuzzyButts, Jan 26, 2010.

  1. Ms.FuzzyButts

    Ms.FuzzyButts Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 5, 2009
    North Alabama
    Ughhhh!!! There's me (35) and my brother (43) and one brother betwen us deceased since 1997.. My step mom is 43 and dad is 63. Not cool with us at all. We tried to see the reasoning from the start. We tried because dad loved her or lusted, not too sure which. By the time their 1 1/2 year courtship was up, we had heard from everyone in the small town we live in, about what kind of person she was and that she would bring my dad down financially. Now he isn't necessarily loaded mind you, but he is retired and has been a tightwad all of his life. She, however came from nothing, so it looks like alot to her. Which confirmed what we suspected already and then confirmed by close friends who have known her all of her life. So we tried to talk to him and make him see what we and everybody else knew. But they married anyway. She found out we mentioned a pre-nup and she got ticked. Well that should have told him something. Nope. We did manage to talk him into transferring all of the land to me and my brother so he would atleast have that if she is up to no good. She has 3 kids, 2 are adults although one lives at my dads with her 8 month old baby. And the youngest comes every other weekend. She works but gives all of her money to her kids because they aren't responsible enough to pay their own bills or support themselves. And dad gave them money on occasion but has finally put his foot down and hasn't anymore to my knowledge. She has a desk job but whines all the time about how hard it is and just wishes she could quit. Ya, so dad can take care of her I bet. She lies and says she works overtime but doesn't get paid for it and a bunch of other BS, so she thinks Dad will give in and let her quit. I know where she works and know the folks. She lies, period! One day I seen her in another town when she was supposed to be at work.. And other days she is supposedly at work and I pass by and her car is not there for hours. So, what would you think? Then at Christmas I overhear her telling my Sister-in-law how Dad is going senile and can't handle things as simple as making phone calls to take care of bills, appointment etc... Again, BS!!!! He's fine. What it boils down to is that she was supposed to have handled certain calls, and dropped the ball. Then when the appointments fall through and dad calls to find out why, he doesn't understand because she's standing their behind him in a panic saying oh no I called, they are the ones that messed up, blah, blah blah!!! Happens ALOT!! He is so afraid of growing old alone that he is being so fricken nieve I could puke. We used to always have get togethers and little parties on Birthdays, 4th of July etc. But we don't anymore because no one wants to be around her. I love him and don't want to see him hurt. He complains about the way she treats him all of the time. And how she is blowing through his money like there is no tomorrow. Then today my brother tells me that she posted on her facebook page this comment; When you marry someone who already has a family, do you think you are truly accepted? Well, when you step all over my dad and won't cook, give all of your money to adult children and blow his, no, I really can't accept that.. So I am mad that I am mad... Look for the made for Tv movie any day now... Sounds like one doesn't it? I wish it was, trust me. Sorry as I may have jumped aroung and not made alot of sense, but I had to get it off my chest and fast before I popped!!
    I think I will go pet my silkies now....
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2010
  2. saddina

    saddina Internally Deranged

    May 2, 2009
    Desert, CA
    You may not like this but...

    You've told your dad how you feel/think. He's ignored it. There's nothing more you can do. So stop worring. You want my honest guess? She's waiting for him to die so she can be a widow with SSI an whatever is left to her. Either way you can't "save" your pops. I get it sucks, we did this with my father in law.
     
  3. conny63malies

    conny63malies Overrun With Chickens

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    Annetta Kentucky
    i am on the other side. I have lying thiefing stepdaughters that will do anything to give me a hard time. I feel with you though because just with your SM they are just out for their personal gain and not if their father or in your case your DF/her DH are happy. They know how to pull their and our triggers . All i can say is : have a hidden digi recorder or video camera ready every time you talk with them.
     
  4. LarryPQ

    LarryPQ Easter Hatch!!

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    (best mobster voice)

    Yus want me to take her out? 'cause I gots me a potato gun and iz loaded with chicken pooz.

    Just kidding! [​IMG]

    Don't worry about it--your dad is a grown man. Just let it go and laugh at her stupidity.
     
  5. Ms.FuzzyButts

    Ms.FuzzyButts Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 5, 2009
    North Alabama
    Hey, saddina, you can't say anything wrong. And I think your guess is dead on. I have already thought about it every which way but loose. Say what you think.. Technically, there is no right way to think or say anything on this matter. And yes Laree, load the potato gun!! LOL And as far as you connie, I feel bad for you. My brother and I don't do or say anything bad to her ever! We are not instigators, we choose to boil and fume to one another. I am so kind hearted that I even feel bad for her. Cause I can imagine how it must feel to know you aren't liked by the people you have to be around the most. And now she stays sick all the time in and out of the hospital, and it's probably her nerves or she's bulimic one. Cause she is pale and pastie looking.
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2010
  6. Chicky Tocks

    Chicky Tocks [IMG]emojione/assets/png/2666.png?v=2.2.7[/IMG] Ru

    Oct 20, 2008
    Benton, Arkansas
    It's never easy marrying a man with adult children. Especially when the children are prone to judging you based on what other people say, other people who most likely don't know you anymore than the step-children.

    I've been with my husband for 16 years. When we married, neither one of us had a pot to piss in. We built everything we have together. We both have children previous to our marriage. I helped him raise his children and he's helped me to raise mine, and now that his children are adults, they're more worried about what they'll get when he dies. That more than anything disgust me.

    I work for an attorney and have personally seen the step-children of a man who died completely strip his wife of 35 years down to the bone and left her penniless. Greed bites.

    In answer to her question that she posted on facebook...it hurts her that she is judged so harshly by her husband's children. She's wishes she could relate to you, but it sounds like she's already been shut out. That's a shame.
     
  7. Ms.FuzzyButts

    Ms.FuzzyButts Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 5, 2009
    North Alabama
    Quote:I respect your opinion. Although, what we know is not entirely hearsay. My brother and I knew some of her family previously. And it was known by us years before dad and her even met. We didn't realize she was who she was, because we had never actaully met her prior. And I could care less what I get when he dies. I have told him that whatever he chooses to leave her is fine by me. Because she is his wife regardles. I just dont feel that her or her kids deserve any thing that my mom and dad worked so hard for 20 yrs to have. Whatever they aquire going forward is hers too. Or whatever he wants her to have is fine. My grandad, his dad, done the same thing he is doing now and his step-moms adult children took everything. Even things willed to us. He should have learned from that!! As far as her being shut out, as I said, we did try to befriend her for the first 2 years including her in everything, but she dug the hole with us that she is in. Plus my dad comes to me and complains endlessly about her supporting her adult kids, and her riding him because he wont help, along with complaining that dad doesn't want to get out and party at 63 yrs old and she fusses him out because he sent my mom an email saying he was sorry to hear that she has cancer. Now that's something to be jealous over isn't it? I know I can't fix any of it. But I also can't make myself like someone. I have never been mean or acted anything but nice to her. But I am not going to go out of my way either. If she calls my cell phone. I answer and am nice. I just do not initiate contact. Shame as that may be...
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2010
  8. LizFM

    LizFM Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Be as nice as you can to your dad. You will be glad you did when he's gone...no matter how much it chaps your hide to put up with his wife now, it will be worth it later. (notice I didn't say anything about going out of your way to be nice to her [​IMG] ).

    If it was me, she wouldn't fuss at him in my presence without my (very calmly and nicely, without upsetting dad) saying something to her.

    I wouldn't say "I told you so" but I would say "dad I was afraid of stuff like this before you got married." Of course, your relationship with your dad might be different, I could just quietly say something like that to my dad without him thinking I was pointing the finger or blaming him, you might not be able to.

    Edited to add: spend as much time with him as you can...if she tries to have him declared mentally incompetent and gets herself put in charge of the finances, you need proof to fight it. Videotape alot.
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2010
  9. ruth

    ruth Life is a Journey

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    Woodville, MS
    I may be missing something but....what awful thing has she done to you, your brother, or more importantly, your father?

    Let's see - she still works full-time (and possibly a lot of over-time); she's still helping her grown children financially; and she's putting up with her husband's grown children listening to and repeating gossip about her and trying to get her husband to divorce her. The only negative I seem to pick out of your description of her is that you've overheard the two of them arguing/debating over who messed up appointments. And, to top it all off, you and your brother are so worried about your inheritance that you've started talking your father into already transferring his personal assets into your name - which, by the way, in my humble opinion, his assets are his to do as he pleases - he could leave them to you and your brother, his new wife, or his dog if he wants.

    She obviously knows that you and your brother don't like her, you make no attempt to disguise same, and she seems to be hurt enough to post it on Facebook.

    Let me ask you - are you more concerned about your father's happiness or your inheritance??? Cause if it's your father's happiness, you and your brother have no right to be all in his face about the woman he married.
     
  10. Whispering Winds

    Whispering Winds Chillin' With My Peeps

    I agree with LiszFM, be nice to your dad. You will miss him terribly when he's gone. I understand about your being concerned about what he had BEFORE the new lady came in . . .that was there first. . .and I think she sounds like a whiner and there is nothing more I can't stand is a whiner. I would be concerned about saying your dad was getting senile . . .someone needs to catch her in her lies. Won't matter to your dad probably, because "he loves her", but it will make you feel better knowing you are right.

    I feel so sorry for people who cannot be alone. I have a DD that is like that, always has to have a BF no matter how crappy he is. It beats being alone. I can be alone and be happy as a lark. I always said that if something happens to DH, I was getting Llamas. Well, he is still here and I switched to Alpacas, but there will be more of them, and NO more man in MY life. As my mama use to say, "I wouldn't have another man if his butt was full of gold". [​IMG]

    Good luck, I hope your dad might see the light. I think in most cases when a young woman goes after an older man, its not because she is hot in love. And, if the town knows how she is, then not all of them are wrong. There is never a "right" answer to a deal like this. . .just have to take it one day at a time.
     

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