So heres the short story. While I was in college, I found myself pregnant by my boyfriend. I was 20, he was barely 19. He never was a part of DD life, we lived 1000 miles apart. I moved back to my college town about 20 years ago, when DD was 2. Never really was in touch with him after the first year or so back. I meet DH, been married for 17 years now. Have our ups and downs, but who doesn't. 2 years ago, DD decides to meet bio dad. Ok, fine, I can help her, sure. Short lived relationship. He wasnt what she expected. I could have told her that but wanted her to find out on her own. My deal is, I am still madly in love with this guy. In my head, I know that our relationship was never meant to be. I love DH and will never jeopardize my marriage. But this guy was my first true love, and its just something Im still having a hard time getting over. And its been over 20 years. Hes married with a 6 month old baby boy. He has no interest in me and thats the way it should be. We dont see each other, or talk to each other. Now DD has moved back to college town. I have to go right by his parents house every time i go see her. No other way there unless I want to go 30 extra minutes. Memories come flooding back every time. I keep hoping time will ease the pain/love, but after 20 years, maybe Im just stuck with these feelings. Sorry about the ramble, I really just needed to air my feelings.