remember.. baby shower blues (best friend)

[shadowpaints]

So a LOT has happened. first off. recap the thread made on 9/14 https://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/viewtopic.php?pid=4824631

things have changed so drasticly .

my best friends 'boyfriend' left her. thats it . just up and left. 'J' called me the day after he left. she was in the hospital in early labor. crap . of course i speed to the hospital!!!

when i get there and make sure she is ok. she tells me that 'R' left her. she is very apologetic about many things, first of explained that 'R' was very possesive over the fact that 'J' and i are sooooo close. since 'R' had no job he was there all the time and 'J' explained that if she was on the phone, he would go NUTS because she wasnt paying attention to him!! i have also learned that he was abusive more than one time with her.
i of course forgave her. many say im to kind hearted but, i too was in a abusive relationship and was not 'allowed' to contact my friends.

now, the house they were living in is 'R's aunts house. so, betcha u cant guess what happens next. 'J' got evicted. so here she is 34 weeks pregnant and she is being thrown on the street. i have a few spare rooms (one of which has all the baby stuff i have bought in it) and i offered to let her move back in with me ( she moved in with me a year and a half ago and shortly after met 'R' and moved in with him)
she accepted and we are in the process of moving her stuff in.

so far i have learned many things. 'r' would always drop her off at work in HER car and pick her up. 'j' wasnt allowed to just go for a drive. 'r' told her that only FAMILY matters and that it was time for her to ONLY focus on her family.
she tells me that she wanted to ask me to do the baby shower, but 'r' wouldnt hear of it.
i know 'r' and this seems very much like him!! he can be a (&*#&%^$#%%0) i warned her when she first started dating.

with less than 6 weeks left in her pregnancy, we are on a time crunch. talk about crazy!
things are pretty much back to being the same now, other than some depression and many crying sessions between the 2 of us.
i believe that the little baby (boy) will come early. she lost her mucous plug on sunday

thank you all for your support!! i greatly appreciate it
i will keep you all updated on the happenings in the next few weeks!

 

[chixie]

I will pray that she carries her baby as long as possible. I am glad you to are getting along now. and it is really sweet for you to take her in. I hope she gets her life back on track.

 

[danielle82]

WOW WOW WOW! Never saw the other thread, but my heart really bleeds for pregnant women whos men take off and leave! I am soo happy that you are going to be outstretching your arms to her! It sounds like you two used to be close, maybe this will bring you two back togther! Its always fun bonding over babies

Sooo scary to go through the baby thing alone, not knowing whos not going to understand, but having a friend who loves you and your baby unconditionally is very comforting. Thanks for opening your home to them, somedays it may seem she is ungreatful, but she will be greatful for life. This may be one of the biggest things youve ever done for someone...seriously, its a big big deal....even in 30 years this woman will still look back on this with greatfullness, even if it dosn't feel like it now

 

[sfw2]

IMHO, the guy leaving her is the best thing that could have happened to your friend, and her baby. If he didn't think she was paying enough attention to him now, can you imagine how he'd be after she had a newborn to look after? It's hard to be a single parent (been there . . .), but it's much better than trying to raise a baby in an abusive situation.

That said, I'm so glad you've decided to forgive her and move on. She's lucky to have such a good friend.

and

 

[PineappleMama]

For Friendship Winning Out... Sisters over Misters... Chums over Bums... Ladies over Shadies... not quite as much OOMPH as that line about Bros over Hos though... hmmm...

Well anywho, glad y'all worked things through... question though, you said Evicted, that means legal... so was it her name on the lease or his? If hers, and she wasn't behind in rent then they had no cause to evict her... I'd be sure and keep all rent receipts and such just in case they decide to be jerks in that department... sounds like maybe it's that family in general that has issues and it's better safe than sorry... if they're willing to kick someone in her condition on the street no telling what other trouble they might try and stir up later. If you've got docs to show you were holding up your end then it'll help a LOT!

32 weeks is early, but not too bad... 36 would be better... 38 better still... but 32 is still totally okay with today's science so be sure you focus on that part and not the 8 weeks early part... keeping her calm, blood pressure low, will help a lot.

For both of y'all!!

 

[shadowpaints]

Quote:
there was no rent they were living there for free.. but now that 'r' is gone his aunt has told 'j' that she has 30 days to get out .

we are hoping she holds out another 2-3 weeks before the baby gets here!!

 

[TyrannosaurusChix]

I am glad she is out of that situation.. it might not seem like it now to her, but she is better off. Glad things are patched up!

 

[PineappleMama]

Ahhh gotcha. If she wanted she could probably make a stink about that, but it really isn't worth the angst IMO.

Still I'd make note of all the words exchanged in case there's ever need of it, some people... you just never know.

 

[shadowpaints]

we are headed to the drs. she is having contractions again! ill post when we get back!

 

[wegotchickens]

I sure hope that when he left he didn't take her car with him...

But I agree she is better off without him.