Rules for Rural OHIO Email JOKE(if you dont like jokes dont read it)

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by mdbucks, Jan 31, 2008.

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  1. mdbucks

    mdbucks Cooped Up

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    EXIT 109 on 95
    >>> The rules of rural Ohio are as follows:
    >>>
    >>> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
    >>>
    >>> 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
    >>>
    >>> 3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt' road. I drive a pickup
    >>> truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to
    >>> get
    >>> dust on your Lexus.
    >>> Drive it or get out of the way.
    >>>
    >>> 4. They are cattle. They're 'live' steaks. That's why they smell funny
    >>> to
    >>> you.
    >>> They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I 70 or Rt 30
    >>> goes
    >>> east or west. Pick one.
    >>>
    >>> 5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn
    >>> pickers
    >>> and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
    >>>
    >>> 6. So everyone in Ohio waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
    >>> understand
    >>> the concept.
    >>>
    >>> 7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming
    >>> in,
    >>> we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up
    >>> to
    >>> your ear at the time.
    >>>
    >>> 8. Yeah, we eat perch and crappies. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
    >>> available at the corner bait shop.
    >>>
    >>> 9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
    >>> holiday held the first Monday after Thanksgiving.
    >>>
    >>> 10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
    >>> age.
    >>>
    >>> 11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you
    >>> can
    >>> order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
    >>>
    >>> 12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
    >>> vegetables, and breads. We use three spices:
    >>> salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in
    >>> the
    >>> city call that stuff you eat...
    >>> IT AIN'T REAL!!!
    >>>
    >>> 13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
    >>> over
    >>> ice.
    >>>
    >>> 14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to
    >>> shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
    >>>
    >>> 15. High School Basketball and Football are as important here as the
    >>> Lakers
    >>> and the Knicks, and a lot more fun to watch.
    >>>
    >>> 16. Yeah, we have golf courses. Former dairy pastures, with cow paths...
    >>> deal with it.
    >>>
    >>> 17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities,
    >>> Community
    >>> Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a
    >>> love
    >>> for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for
    >>> the holidays.
    >>>
    >>> 18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
    >>> Marines
    >>> So don't mess with us. If you
    >>> do, you will get whipped by the best.
    >>>
    >>> 19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap isn't
    >>> music
    >>> anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
    >>> boxers.
    >>> Refer back to #1.
    >>>
    >>> 20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some
    >>> sense
    >>> in it. And DON'T take all our bread, milk, and batteries from the
    >>> grocery
    >>> store. This isn't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day
    >>> without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the
    >>> next
    >>> day. A true Ohioan will send this on!!!
    >>>
     
  2. pipermark

    pipermark Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 26, 2007
    Arkansas
    > 6. So everyone in Ohio waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
    >>> understand
    >>> the concept.

    If you dont like the joke dont read it.

    You don't sound to friendly [​IMG]

    >>> 19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crud isn't
    >>> music
    >>> anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
    >>> boxers.
    >>> Refer back to #1.

    Amen.

    This must be the new sense of humor, while I can agree and understand many of the sentiments listed, they are what I would call rants or statements, void of humor, but packed with a specific point of view.

    Oh and from someone that has lived in many states , you will find this list applies just about anywhere.​
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2008
  3. Kentucky~Momma

    Kentucky~Momma Chillin' With My Peeps

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    May 20, 2007
    South Central Kentucky
    I am pretty sure md is referring to the Joke about Minneapolis when he said if you don't like jokes, don't read it.
     
  4. pipermark

    pipermark Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 26, 2007
    Arkansas
    Oh sorry since I am not aware of such a joke, I could not make the connection, so this is more a comment on comments that were made on some joke.

    Possible this would have better understood if placed in the same thread, if a thread exists or a link was placed above the comments to the joke and or responses the joke.
     
  5. mdbucks

    mdbucks Cooped Up

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    EXIT 109 on 95
    Quote:[​IMG]
     
  6. gritsar

    gritsar Cows, Chooks & Impys - OH MY!

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    SW Arkansas
    [​IMG] md!

    I like it! 'Cept I think most of that could be applied to Arkansas as well. [​IMG]
     
  7. Redfeathers

    Redfeathers Chillin' With My Peeps

    Oct 11, 2007
    Gervais OR
    It's getting difficult to tell a joke these days.

    I thought it was funny MD
     
  8. Wildsky

    Wildsky Wild Egg!

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    Oct 13, 2007
    California
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]






    [​IMG]
     
  9. Wildsky

    Wildsky Wild Egg!

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    Quote:DITTO! folks are pretty sensitive.... well everyone cept the blonds - those still go over well! [​IMG]
     
  10. JenniferJoIN

    JenniferJoIN Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Sep 10, 2007
    Southern Indiana
    Quote:[​IMG]

    Ha! MD has been silenced!!
     
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