Rules of Being a Chicken(I made this by observing my chickens) Enjoy! 1. First, NEVER share ANYTHING with ANYONE! Always run away with your treat so your friends will want it too, which makes running away all the more fun. 2. When dust-bathing, always cram together in a big pile, so if someone flicks dirt, it will land on you too. 3. If you see a chicken with a bare spot that has no feathers, by all means PECK IT! 4. After you've laid an egg, tell the whole world by squawking REALLY LOUDLY! 5. Also after you've laid an egg, put straw, leaves and other various items on yourself to make sure no one sees you leave the nest. But, more often than not, it eventually falls off, but hey it was worth a try. 6. Eat things like foam, air soft gun pellets and other somewhat edible items to scare your chicken-keeper. 7. After you've pecked the whole yard looking for food, go as far away from the coop(such as the woods, across the road, the neighbor's yard, etc.)to find MORE food. You never know what you might find. 8. Embrace your inner Jungle Fowl by flying up into trees. What fun! 9. If you hear someone call "here chick chick chick chick!" run as fast as you possibly can to figure out what your chicken-keeper's got, even if you nearly trip because your short legs can't carry you as fast as you want. 10. Finally, enjoy the simple pleasures in life, such as bread. The rules made by posters are not in bold. 11. Whenever chicken-keeper is trying herd you and your friends inside the coop, make as much noise and distraction as possible. This includes separating and hiding amongst the bushes. That way, maximum eating time is commenced. 12. If you have 16 acres make sure you poop right in front of the door, never fails. 13. Always want what you don't have. If a fellow chicken has a piece of spaghetti that's in a pile on the ground, forget the pile and go for the taken piece. It's WAY better quality. 14. When sitting on your chicken-keeper's lap, always share a poop making sure it's the largest one possible! Shows your chicken-keeper how much love them and want to share EVERYTHING with them! 15. If you're not fed as soon as you'd like to be, by all means unravel the mysterious workings of the doggie door and wake your chicken keeper up at five in the morning. 16. Even better! Learn how to how to use the doggie door, then discover the fruit bowl in the kitchen! 17. If a hen below you even GLANCES at your beautiful face, PECK HER! She deserves it. 18. If the chicken keeper tries to put you up early so the raccoons don't get you, always have some chickens go in the coop and then a few scatter in all directions! This will make your chicken keeper chase you and that's fun! 19. If you happen to be a banty, hatch as many chicks as possible to further your species. This includes during 100 degree summer days and freezing winter nights. Must...hatch.... 20. When it's very warm, walk around complaining with your wings held out from your body to cool off. Let your chicken-keeper know how the situation must be rectified as soon as possible by camping on the front porch and bawking about how miserably warm it is. 21. If you are the lead hen, act like a goddess and complain if the world isn't your way by squawking as loud as you possibly can. If a leaf is out of place, squawk. If you want the keeper's door painted a different color, squawk. Make sure the world bows down to you and listens as you are the most powerful goddess known to man and chicken! 22. When your chicken-keeper is sweeping the old, dirty pine shavings into a pile to get rid of, hurry in to scratch all her hard work back around your coop floor. It's so nice to help! 23. When your food-lady sits in the coop to watch you, you MUST hop into her lap and fall asleep...or if needed, hop on her shoulder RIGHT next to her ear and preen yours and hers very loudly. 24. If you're within reach of your chicken-keeper's teeth, peck at them!