School Project

Discussion in 'Pictures & Stories of My Chickens' started by Allygirl, Feb 18, 2012.

  1. Allygirl

    Allygirl In the Brooder

    I am looking for critique on this story I am writing for school. I am not trying to copy anyone so please if I have plagiarized you work please understand it was not deliberate and I am very sorry. The story is about my roo Sparky.

    This dark space was getting to be to small my small frame was being crushed it this hard
    capsule. I could here another one of me outside somewhere I tried to answer but this thing made it so he couldn't’t here me. That was it I was going to get out of here , I lined my beak up and pecked away at the hard thing that was restraining me. After a long struggle I was free!
    O how good it felt the other me was yellow and was already walking. I however was brown and wet ,but free! Just then a rush of cold air hit my delicate frame causing me to peep loudly the thing that had opened it sounded familiar.
    Ah yes it was the voice of the “Mom” I knew that from listening to the “Abigail” thing while I was breaking free she had run away yelling “Mom ,Mom the eggs are hatching!” Then the “Mom” thing had said “Be careful we don’t want to bother them, I’ll go call Morgan.” Oh yes I knew that “Morgan” thing she had been really nice to us she would talk when ever she was near us so we would know her voice she was like our “Mom” I wonder where she is. The “Mom” lady came back down she had a black thing near her head and was talking to it “Guess what” she said to the black thingy “The peeps hatched!” there was a happy voice coming out of the black thingy it sounded like Morgan I could not hear what she said because Mom walked out of the room and closed the bangy thing behind her.
    A little while later Morgan came and put us in a new home our new home was big ,no wait HUGE it was so big that there was even a sun in it! After many “Awwwws” and “Look how cutes’” she left us sleeping quietly in our new home.
    A week later I was rudely awakened by my hatch mate stepping on me in his scramble away from Morgans’ hand .I didn't’t know why he was so scared it was a great place for naps and for food. All of his running did no good she scooped him up and petted him then put the now relaxed peep down. I was begging for my turn now, she picked me up and brought me to a strange place I had never been to before. Morgan set me down and picked up a strange black thing with a large hole on it and pointed it at me, it made a funny sound every time she pushed the silver button on it. After she finished she picked me up again and took me down stairs again.

    When my feathers started to come in Foghorn and I were moved to the barn, at first it was scary but it soon became the best place ever! Morgan had gotten a girl peep! Her name was Falon and she was really nice she was a Buff Orpington Rhode Island Red cross. I told her that Foghorn and I were Leghorn Rhode Island Red crosses. When she asked what my name was I told her I didn't’t know she simply stared at me ,which she does to this day. However I was not to remain nameless forever! That evening Morgan came down to take care of us and the horses and that weird multicolored thing named Joe. That night she name me Sparky she said it was because I looked like a bright spark with my gold neck and burgundy body that ended in a white tail. I loved that name it fit me beautifully.

    When we were all big enough we were put in with the big hens it was there that I learned why Morgan had hatched me out. A hen name Caramel one of older hens told me about what had happened, “You see Sparky ,Morgan has always had chickens of some sort ,but her favorite was a rooster name Ruff Nut he was a proud boy he and his brother Tuff Nut were inseparable until Tuff was killed along with Whitey one of the hens by a mink. Ruff after that was the sole leader of our clan and he took excellent care of us up until the moment his life was taken. He was a dear pet and friend to Morgan he was the last of her rooster Rocky’s chicks. We lived a happy life with Ruff ,but it was not meant to last one day while the family was gone the neighbors dogs came over all three at once the hens scattered everywhere in fear Ruff gathered us all up and told us to run for the coop and that he would protect us from the dogs. That was the last we saw of Ruff.” Caramel ended her story

    It is not complete yet ,I will post more as it gets done.

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