o.k. DD is 18, has mental issues, and has been out of the house for awhile. Over the holidays I let her come stay the night, she said she wanted to spend the time with us. Youngest DD was thrilled. Well...she spent no time with any of the family, showed up at the end of the eve party and left for the night again for somewhere else.
She said she broke up with her live in and needed a place to stay. ALL the rules were set down, she said no problem I have been living that way for awhile with other people, cleaning, cooking, babysitting, getting up in the mornings. She has no job, I did not ask her to watch my kids, just that she help out around the house for her keep, mainly keeping her messes cleaned up. I thought the rules were simple and respectful for staying in someones home. Work nights in by 8. Weekends 11, as we get up at 4am to start our day. Most nights I get 4 hours sleep between the things at home to do and with work that I do on the computer at night when the kids are sleeping.
She brought her newly acquired ferret with her. No supplies, rusty cage, and NO IDEA how to care for one and then said she wanted to get a second and another dog. She was informed that no more animals would come into my home. (We already have one of her dogs and one of her cats)
I told her I would help her with feed and litter and things for the ferret if she went with me to my father's house to help do some light cleaning for him. She disappeared with some friends.
The one day she was here during the day she stayed in the bed til 1130 when my 9 year old had enough and went in and told her "you are too sick to get up but I bet you will be well enough to go out with your friends later" Normally I don't let my children speak this way, but she was really cheesed off about her behavior. I had tried for hours to get her up, well that conversation got her out of the bed to come running to me to tell me I shouldn't let them talk that way to people. Informed her, they don't talk that way to adults, you are a sibling so yeah she can. I was angry at that point and let it go.
Well she went off with some guy 3 days ago, haven't heard from her, my son has been caring for the ferret. Today I get to spend my chicken money on a cage and supplies for this animal that I never wanted. I never had any desire to own a ferret as it is not a good fit for our home. Our days are already filled and I don't want the added responsibility.
I am not cruel, or mean, and have let many come and stay with us til they got back on their feet, but this is ridiculous. If she were trying to help herself in the slightest bit, we would be more than willing to help her out. But she isn't. When she finally does show up, I am going to have to tell her I don't think this is going to work out and she needs to find another place to stay.
Please don't bash me for feeling this way. We raised our children better than this, my other 2 are proof. Yes, her mental illness comes into play in the situation but it is not that extreme of a problem. I don't like feeling like I am being used, and at this point I feel like I am. I am just so frustrated because she has done nothing she said she was going to do around the house, take care of her ferret, sign up for school, nothing but stay out and party. At that age I went to college full time, worked full time, and yes i lived at home and still cooked the meals, did the laundry, took care of my sister and kept the house clean as well as kick in money to the house to my parents. We raised our kids the way we were raised, in hopes it also be the same for them with being responsible. Where did we go wrong?
We let her have my daughter's room to sleep in, her clothes went into a huge pile on the floor, 9 yr old was so discusted by it she just shoved the pile into the closet.
My other 2 kids at home enjoy having a clean home and are more than willing to do chores. They don't mind taking care of the animals we have. They look forward to putting a garden in and getting more chickens for eggs. These were our plans.
Sorry for the long rant, just frustrated, angry, hurt, feeling used, disrespected, on and on.
And oh, now she claims she is pregnant again, lord I hope not. She can't even come around to take care of a ferret.
She said she broke up with her live in and needed a place to stay. ALL the rules were set down, she said no problem I have been living that way for awhile with other people, cleaning, cooking, babysitting, getting up in the mornings. She has no job, I did not ask her to watch my kids, just that she help out around the house for her keep, mainly keeping her messes cleaned up. I thought the rules were simple and respectful for staying in someones home. Work nights in by 8. Weekends 11, as we get up at 4am to start our day. Most nights I get 4 hours sleep between the things at home to do and with work that I do on the computer at night when the kids are sleeping.
She brought her newly acquired ferret with her. No supplies, rusty cage, and NO IDEA how to care for one and then said she wanted to get a second and another dog. She was informed that no more animals would come into my home. (We already have one of her dogs and one of her cats)
I told her I would help her with feed and litter and things for the ferret if she went with me to my father's house to help do some light cleaning for him. She disappeared with some friends.
The one day she was here during the day she stayed in the bed til 1130 when my 9 year old had enough and went in and told her "you are too sick to get up but I bet you will be well enough to go out with your friends later" Normally I don't let my children speak this way, but she was really cheesed off about her behavior. I had tried for hours to get her up, well that conversation got her out of the bed to come running to me to tell me I shouldn't let them talk that way to people. Informed her, they don't talk that way to adults, you are a sibling so yeah she can. I was angry at that point and let it go.
Well she went off with some guy 3 days ago, haven't heard from her, my son has been caring for the ferret. Today I get to spend my chicken money on a cage and supplies for this animal that I never wanted. I never had any desire to own a ferret as it is not a good fit for our home. Our days are already filled and I don't want the added responsibility.
I am not cruel, or mean, and have let many come and stay with us til they got back on their feet, but this is ridiculous. If she were trying to help herself in the slightest bit, we would be more than willing to help her out. But she isn't. When she finally does show up, I am going to have to tell her I don't think this is going to work out and she needs to find another place to stay.
Please don't bash me for feeling this way. We raised our children better than this, my other 2 are proof. Yes, her mental illness comes into play in the situation but it is not that extreme of a problem. I don't like feeling like I am being used, and at this point I feel like I am. I am just so frustrated because she has done nothing she said she was going to do around the house, take care of her ferret, sign up for school, nothing but stay out and party. At that age I went to college full time, worked full time, and yes i lived at home and still cooked the meals, did the laundry, took care of my sister and kept the house clean as well as kick in money to the house to my parents. We raised our kids the way we were raised, in hopes it also be the same for them with being responsible. Where did we go wrong?
We let her have my daughter's room to sleep in, her clothes went into a huge pile on the floor, 9 yr old was so discusted by it she just shoved the pile into the closet.
My other 2 kids at home enjoy having a clean home and are more than willing to do chores. They don't mind taking care of the animals we have. They look forward to putting a garden in and getting more chickens for eggs. These were our plans.
Sorry for the long rant, just frustrated, angry, hurt, feeling used, disrespected, on and on.
And oh, now she claims she is pregnant again, lord I hope not. She can't even come around to take care of a ferret.
