Watch for the warning signs that you, or someone you care about, is hooked on ducks. Ducks addicts are known to have trouble with arithmetic (aka "duck math"), a fowl mouth, and an inability to leave TSC without buying something (usually a duckling). If you recognize any of these signs, you or your spouse may have a duck problem: 1. You have a kiddie pool in your yard year-round. 2. You don't buy ice cream at the grocery store, because your freezer is already filled with bags of frozen peas. 3. You have a recreational mud puddle. 4. These are the seasons of the year: A. Hatching B. Brooding C. Quaking D. Ice-Breaking E. Laying 5. There are two metal garbage cans in your garage, but they're not for garbage. 6. There are sketch pads all around the house with drawings of "dream coops", deluxe runs, & new ponds. 7. You have hay in your car at all times. 8. There are 3 dozen eggs in your refrigerator, and none of the cartons will close. 9. When you are digging in your yard and you find a big earthworm, you think "TREAT!" instead of "BAIT!" or "EWWWW" 10. You spend a lot of time disparaging chickens to random people. 11. The screen savers & wallpapers on every electronic device you have is a picture of ducklings. 12. There are holes all over your yard, and you know gophers did not cause them. 13. The absence of quacking & murping causes you to worry. 14. You understand what "murping" means.