Simple remedies

[Leslie In North Pole]

I, in no way endorse the use of any of these remedies and recommend you consult your doctor if you do.

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.


DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

 

[Wildsky]

I think I've read those before

 

[Yogiman]

Hey Leslie,
Please go to your door and call out to Sherry and tell her to get herself back home. She's there now and called me to taunt me from there. She was supposed to come home this week but has decided to stay over until March because she got tickets to see Kennie G.
She is spending to much $$$$$$ at Fred Owens.

 

[Farmer Kitty]

 

[lacyloo]

 

[ilovemychickies]

I like the part about the slinkies.

 

[Leslie In North Pole]

The one about the mouse trap on the alarm is tempting to do to my hubby at times. He is the king of the snooze button and now that I don't sleep really well due to my pregnancy, it is even more annoying to hear both of his alarms go off several times before he drags his rear out of bed...


Yesterday felt like finding someone who reminded me of slinky...

Thankfully my mood is better today.

 

[d.k]

*You could kick him out of bed and tell him it was the baby, you know! Just one more simple rememy!!