"sister" in law rant!

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by lovesduckies, Jun 9, 2010.

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  1. lovesduckies

    lovesduckies Bedroom Farm Inc.

    Jan 11, 2010
    the ducky room
    so my big brother is legally bound to one of the worst people i have ever met. they have 2 kids who i feel soo sorry for. first of the girl, she isn't even a woman, she doesn't deserve that title, anyway, she weighs like 80 pounds. she's like 26 and like 5ft 6in. she's soooo skinny, she looks like she's starving. why is she so skinny you ask?? because she take laxatives. i know disgusting. soo my nephews are also really skinny too. the eldest has become very very whiney because of her. poor kid! she doesn't feed them anything healthy. they are 3 and 5 and she gives them COKE sorry in my opinion that is tooooo young to be drinking soda. they should be drinking milk and water and juice sometimes, NOT soda! the youngest has all kinds of health issues. poor baby. he has asthma and goes to the ER often. they were both premature, and sorry but if my kid had a health issue, they wouldn't be living off of fries and beans with hotsauce from del taco! she's selfish and an aweful mother! not to mention just aweful all together.

    so my older brother is currently deployed in afghanistan. his job is very scarey. he's an EOD, explosive ordiance disposal. he disarms bombs, like in the movie Hurt Locker, that's what my brother does. stressing him out is NOT an option. my mom and i are doing what we can. my mom had a talk with her about it recently and then again after his best friend was KIA after stepping on a secondary IED (bomb). when my brother isn't disarming bombs, he likes to race go karts and now having the money to do it, he is building a team with my dad and little brother. he just bought a trailor and 2 more kart chasis and 2 kart stands. i think he has something like 4 karts now? well he needs help picking up things here and there and dropping the chasis off so his friends who build go karts for a living and build his karts for him. well the evil "wife" has his dodge ram truck while he is over seas. does she help him? NOPE my brother called me all stressed out cuz some things needed to be picked up and what not. so i told him, tell her i am going to get the truck and i will do everything you need done since she can't do anything for anyone other than herself. keep in mind she lives with ehr parents while he deployed, unlike other army wives to come together and form bonds and friends, like my sister does (her husband is also deployed in iraq).

    sooo i have the truck now. when i got the truck there was NO GAS in there. like she drove around to use up the gas. she would do that cuz she's mad that i have the truck. so now she's stressing my brother out more saying she needs the truck. BULL she can use her parents car!!!!!!!!!!! her dad is lazy and retired so he doesn't do anything and her mom doesn't drive because she is too scared to drive now after being in an accident. am i giving the truck back??? sure after i use up the gas my dad put in it. and after i'm done taking go karts to the shop and picking them up cuz they aren't going to fit in my malibu! she doesn't even need it. she doesn't work! all she does is go to target and starbucks to spend my brother's money!!!!!!!!

    [​IMG]
     
  2. chickensducks&agoose

    chickensducks&agoose Chillin' With My Peeps

    I am so sorry. I can't really speak about most of that, but my husband is deployed, and I certainly don't have time to take care of my husband's hobbies while he's gone, and I don't "come together and form bonds and friends"... And I do spend all DH's money... on food, and shoes and clothes for me and the kids, and bills, and insurance, and getting his car registered, and sending the kids to camp, and paying for a new vacuum, and sheets after the dog ate the last set, and plants for the garden, and books, and a pool membership, and cable, and having internet, and paper towels... it goes fast, and there really isn't much. I am not saying that she's not a giant B, but it is possible that she feels lonely and overwhelmed, and is doing as well as she can under the circumstances. Remember, SHE is the family he has chosen, for better or for worse, and I doubt she is enjoying worrying about her husband, OR living with her parents...
     
  3. lovesduckies

    lovesduckies Bedroom Farm Inc.

    Jan 11, 2010
    the ducky room
    she does all this as a power trip. she's a little child. she has almost gotten my brother killed a few times. there are other things she can do. i know she got a book about dealing with deplyed husbands, my sister helps families who have deployed loved ones and also families who have lost loved ones in war. that's her job. she's just selfish and only thinks about her. the money she spends is one useless crap. i know where you are coming from, but she's not that way. she's selfish. completely selfish.
     
  4. SarahFair

    SarahFair Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 23, 2008
    Monroe, Ga
    My first concern would be those children..
    Her disorder is going to be passed on to them!


    Maybe they can spend the summer with grandma or aunty?
     
  5. lovesduckies

    lovesduckies Bedroom Farm Inc.

    Jan 11, 2010
    the ducky room
    yeah i know. those poor children. i feel horribly for them. seriously my nephews legs are so skinny i could probably snap them, not that i ever would! but still those poor kids!!!

    well the poop hit the fan! i doubt i will get to see my nephews now. so them spending summer with us won't be an option. she's mad that my brother won't let her have the truck. she has her parents that don't ever drive like i mentioned. she can use their car! she's just so selfish. she text him in the middle of his best friend's memorial to yell at him about the truck.. and now he's going back to the stan (afghanistan) tomorrow and she's completely stressing him out. not good. i guess he turned off his phone and went to spend his last day here with his best friend's wife and my mom who flew up to washington to see him.

    she has other options. she's just a spoiled little rat!
     
  6. WingingIt

    WingingIt Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 16, 2009
    I'm a military wife, too. Last time DH left it was for 15 months. We had a newborn and older children, too. It's not easy, it's entirely possible it's more than she can handle, lots of spouses find that out once their other half deploys. Some join the FRGs and form groups to out to eat and stuff, others don't. There's no right way to be at home waiting. Whatever works best for you is what you do.

    Regardless of whether she's at home because it's too much for her OR she's at home to live rent free and have more money to blow, my advice to you is the same. It's not your problem. Do the best you can to stay out of it because if and when it blows up, you're in a no win situation if you're involved. Do the best you can to support your brother. Help out when you can if he asks. Remind him you miss him and love him and can't wait until he's home. Take the truck to use if you have to, but return it when you're done with no snide remarks or angry actions. Just tell her you're glad to help out (even if you have to remind yourself not to roll your eyes...lol). Send him stuff, offer to take the kiddos to the park every now and then to give her and them a break and just be there. Help them make cards to mail to Daddy. You don't have to like her, but he is married to her and had children with her. You do have to respect that, even if you don't like it, if you want to remain on good terms with him and have a relationship with the kids. Sounds like they could use some good quality time with family members, so I hope you can do that.
     
  7. crtrlovr

    crtrlovr Still chillin' with my peeps

    Quote:

    excellent advice.
     
  8. lovesduckies

    lovesduckies Bedroom Farm Inc.

    Jan 11, 2010
    the ducky room
    thanks. i am trying not to get invovled. but she's just to ugh! the first time he was deployed, she cheated on him. the second time she stressed him out constantly about stupid CRAP. before he left this time, he found out she was having yet another affair. but it was too late to get a divorce because he was leaving again. this deployment he volunteered for because she drives him nuts. this past christmas she spent with her "boyfriend" in washington. her and my brother are legally separated. they are getting a divorce when he comes back so he can have a chance to get the kids. he is and has been gathering evidence that she is in fact an unfit mother.
     
  9. Mattemma

    Mattemma Overrun With Chickens

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    Aug 12, 2009
    Hope things work out for your brother.Just try to be super nice to the SIL and often call and offer to take the kids for a short time. She sounds like the type that might want to toss the kids to others so she can have time to herself. BUT if she thinks she can hurt you more by not giving the kids she will do that.So try to wiggle your way past the wall,so she will drop the kids off and be on her merry lax way!

    If it wasn't the truck it would be something else.I would hold on to it considering bro and sil are seperated anyway.She has no right to it.
     
  10. WingingIt

    WingingIt Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 16, 2009
    Quote:I see. All the more reason to try and stay on good terms (OK, pretend like you can stand her... [​IMG] ) with her. The kids are going to need someone in their lives while he's gone that will let them talk about Daddy and help them make him things and give them some normal child time. Plus, she might keep them from everyone out of spite if she thinks it would hurt you more. He can proceed with a divorce while he's deployed (it's a law now that it's the service member's choice, he can't be forced to, but he can decide to) but, honestly, I think I'd wait if I were him just so he'll be there in the same courtroom with her and any witnesses needed. If they are legally separated, I hope he set up with his finance office to have the required payments going to her for the children but the rest going to an account she has NO access to. Preferably at a bank she's never banked at. Poor kiddos. [​IMG]
     
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