So, Facebook users, what would you do?

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Chirping
10 Years
Jul 3, 2009
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I am a 50+ year old and am on FaceBook as are my children and several nieces and nephews. I am worried about one of my nephews...

Background: the nephew in question is a 15 year old who lives near Washington, DC and I am in CA. I have only met him a few times since he lives so far away. His mother and father, my brother, are divorced - but my brother has committed to staying there to be there for his kids, even though mentally and emotionally he might be better off here because all the rest of the extended family is here. He and the ex have a good relationship - in fact, last 4th of July his kids, ex wife and current wife all spent the day together. He takes my nephew and neice camping and such.

Problem: many of my nephew's posts on FaceBook are offensive on the basis of religion, ethnicity, and/or gender. His most recent post and then reply to the post were offensive to homosexuals and minorities. In a short time he bashed and was offensive to groups that are represented within our immediate family. His brother-in-law and uncle are "non-white" and my cousin (at least one that I am sure about) is gay.

My question: I don't know him well enough to "scold" even privately. I am uncomfortable with what he says and I don't want folks looking at my "wall" and seeing what he posts....I may have to UNFRIEND my nephew! What would you advise?
 
You can block him...when you do, you will no longer see any of his posts ~ but when doing this he will no longer see your page/profile/posts, etc.

Go to *Settings* upper right hand corner, and click on *block* and type in their name.


Hope this helps!
 
people create all sorts of personalities on social networking sites. It could be a phase, a "satirical" personality, something he feels he needs to do to fit in, or maybe he is just a jerk.

Miss Manners would say-NOYDB-unless he is a danger to himself or specifically threatens another.

Unfriend. Do not notify of unfriending. Let it go until he grows up: maybe he won't grow up, but that is his parent's responsibilty.

If you are REALLY worried, send the 'rents a note saying you were worried about a few comments he mad. Screenshot the page and email it to them as proof.

Otherwise, none of your business. Unfriend.
 
I do know how to filter - block - etc, just wondering what others would do in similar circumstances...

I know, none of my bees wax. Maybe he will grow out of it and maybe it is just his FB persona, but it disappoints me that he posts things that are so offensive.

Just Saturday, I had a conversation with a 20 year old who was my student for one year when he was 13 years old. He came up and sat by me and said something like, "do you realize I have known you for almost half of my life?" We continued to chat and he mentioned seeing my oldest son as he was coming home from the baseball game - and I said, that's right you posted that you were there. He looked puzzled for a moment, then said, "That's right, on FaceBook" We chatted about FB and he said that he watches what he says because his mommom (not the step) and I am on there. LOL - maybe my nephew will grow up...
 
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You can also just hide him. Hover on a post from your nephew and to the right "hide" and a down arrow will appear. I have hidden one of my nephews because people keep posting things on his wall that I find offensive.

That said, I don't see much of my nephew either, but if he were writing stuff that is offensive to members of our family, there is no question that I would send him a private message and lay it all out for him.

At 15, he may be trying to show off and he may not realise what effect it is having on his family.

Cheryl
 
If you don't want to see what he's writing, go to one of his posts. Hover your cursor over the top right corner of the post and you'll see a little pop-up that says "HIDE". Click on that and his posts will no longer show up on your page. (You have the option of either hiding the application update that they are posting, or hiding everything they post.) It's saved me much grief!
 
I would either "unfriend" or block his posts from showing up. You don't want his garbage stinking up your wall. Don't feel badly about doing it. I would do it, too.
 
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You are right, he is "stinking up my wall", sigh - any of my friends could see what he is writing and.....

Yep he is off my list!
 
i use facebook too, using it to stay in touch with peple from montreal (i grew up there) , apparently a few kids missed the value bus up there and find rude or offensive pics/words from nices/nephs or my friends kids........yes there is a presure to fit in and say stuff...but...there isn't a time for that...it might open his eye if you send him a pm (not a wall post ) and tell him how you feel..
 

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