So far so good....I think

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by gritsar, Nov 26, 2009.

  1. gritsar

    gritsar Cows, Chooks & Impys - OH MY!

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    Rather than repeat the holidays from previous years, where I was in the kitchen cooking and cleaning from early morning to late at night (while DSDs sat on their behinds in the living room), I felt secure enough in the relationships I have with the eldest one to speak up this year.
    Weeks ago I let DSD #1 know that I expected help with the cooking. She could use her own recipes or mine, but I expected help. Her excuse in past years was that she doesn't know where anything is in my kitchen (same excuse she gave me for not helping put away the clean dishes), but I let her know that not only would I be right there to help her find anything she couldn't find; but that I hadn't moved any of the dishes, pots, baking dishes, etc., from the places where her mamaw kept them in this house when she was growing up.
    DSD #2 was a little trickier. Her only domestic quality is that she lives in a house. She has been told (by her older sister, not me) that if we are going to be cooking our tailends off, she is capable of doing dishes. I'm helping her by keeping the dishes washed as we cook, so she will only have the dishes from the actual meal to clean.
    I think DSD is a bit angry with me, but she can build a bridge and get over it.
    Now to deal with my feeling of guilt for laying the law down. [​IMG]
     
  2. DuckLady

    DuckLady Administrator Staff Member

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    Quote:Do not feel guilty!
    Been there done that.

    The telling of the expectation was the hard part.
    Just ignore any whimpering, whining, eye-rolling and sighing.

    She will get over it and you will have fun in the kitchen together.
    Good job. [​IMG]

    The part about her only domestic quality cracked me up. [​IMG]
     
  3. jojo54

    jojo54 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Aug 24, 2009
    BC Canada
    Can I ask about DH. Does he help out or ask the kids to help out. He needs to help you make it a working family. You were not hired on as maid and cook. Don't feel guilty. They eat - they help out -simple as that. [​IMG]
     
  4. gritsar

    gritsar Cows, Chooks & Impys - OH MY!

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    Quote:DH loves to help out in the kitchen. He was in there this morning doing a job I truly hate, potato peeling. He also dealt with the cold turkeys for me because with my Raynaud's Syndrome handling cold meat is very painful.
    I did chase him out of the kitchen after awhile, because I could see DSD was getting frustrated when her dad insisted on instructing her on how to properly use a paring knife. She's very sensitive and gets her feelings hurt easily. She was doing fine on her own, so I chased him out of the kitchen and asked him to go keep the GS and the puppy out of trouble instead. [​IMG]
    DH's maternal aunt has been encouraging me for a couple of years now to take control and get these girls off their behinds, so I finally took her advice (and tips on how to do it). [​IMG]
     
  5. jojo54

    jojo54 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Aug 24, 2009
    BC Canada
    Good luck to you. They'll thank you one day.
     
  6. gritsar

    gritsar Cows, Chooks & Impys - OH MY!

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    SW Arkansas
    Well, DSD #2 ended up getting out of doing the dishes anyhow. [​IMG]
    She's been pouting all day about having to do them this evening and after our meal she suddenly became "ill" and had to go lay down. [​IMG]
    Her older sister is doing the dishes, saying that she wanted her baby sister to rest up so they could go out later.
    IMO, enabling this 23 year old child is why she can't seem to get a handle on adult responsibilities.

    End of rant
    Back to Happy Thanksgiving! [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2009
  7. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    Western MA
    Quote:Ugh..not good..not good at all..
    Was the rest of the day good though? I hope so. [​IMG] Happy Turkey day gritty! [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  8. maplesky7

    maplesky7 Flock Mistress

    Jun 14, 2008
    N. IL.
    ha ha ha.... I've pulled the I'm so sick thing. What a con... AND she's going out later? geesh.


    Well, you've been enforcing rules with your 20 somethings, I've been enforcing rules to my 3 yr. old dd. She ate the movie stores, movie case. Mind you, they photocopied the cover, so it's black and white in a plastic sleeve inside a white cd case...the original cases are on the shelves. But she chewed the heck out of it... I think she's worse than a puppy.

    I set her hiney in time out and told her that was bad behavior and she was going to hand that movie case back to the store owner and tell them she's sorry for biting their case.

    She cried about that and threw a fit for having to stay in time out... man, she's testy lately and going around breaking things either as exploratory or because she's mad. I mean she CHEWED the dang case and ripped the paper and broke the corner....

    [​IMG] ooops, that's right.... Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good night. [​IMG]
     
  9. maplesky7

    maplesky7 Flock Mistress

    Jun 14, 2008
    N. IL.
    Happy Thanksgiving Red!
     
  10. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    Quote:You tooooooo! [​IMG]
     

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