Sometimes I feel like quitting poultry keeping, anyone else feel this way?

Discussion in 'Pictures & Stories of My Chickens' started by r4eboxer, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. r4eboxer

    r4eboxer Crooked Creek Poultry

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    I've not had chickens that long. I love keeping them and incubating and hatching. I love having fresh eggs and a source of fresh meat. (not that I'm able to process any meat or think I will ever be able to)

    The problem is I know the rest of my family isn't into it at all. I have gotten my husband to construct a partially completed coop. (I just don't have any decent roosts and the roof leaks) I am the only one who will gather eggs, feed, water etc. It's the same way with my garden. I can get a little bit of help when it's tilling time but as far as the planting, weeding, watering, picking and processing of my garden I'm the only one that does it. My husband is a junk food junkie and doesn't even eat the stuff I put up. I can pasta sauce, italian peppers, pizza sauce among many other things and when he is at the store he buys the store bought stuff. He even bought fresh peppers at the store this summer when I had over 100 pepper plants growing in the garden and ready for harvest.

    I really enjoy gardening and poultry keeping but I wonder if it's really worth it. I hurts my feelings that he does not consume the items I grow. His parents kept a garden all his life and they would never go out to eat and everything was made from scratch and home canned products and I wonder if he resented not being able to eat out etc and that is why he is like this. He brings so much crap in the house. Potato chips, processed sweets, pop, fish stix, hot dogs, pre-made pizzas. When I cook it never gets eaten and he always resorts to this garbage food. I admit I eat it when it's in the house but I get so irritated when he brings it in. I figure why should I cook and waste my time and money when no one will eat it.

    I usually stress at night over my poultry and make the decision to get rid of it at night. But the when I wake up in the morning I change my mind. I just don't know why I'm spending so much money on feed, so much of my time for something that no one wants or appreciates but me. I will come home from work on days that he has off (he works for school board so snow days he is home) He will not have even went out to give fresh water to the ducks or chickens or to check on them at all. I will go out after work and the water for the ducks is frozen. I've even asked him to check on them while I'm at work and he 'forgets' or sends one of the boys and they do not freshen water or it does not get done.

    Thanks for reading, I guess I'm just wondering if there is anyone else who is "in this by themselves" so so speak.
     
  2. Whispering Winds

    Whispering Winds Chillin' With My Peeps

    I wonder how many other women on here feel the same way? I have a zoo at my house, finches, parakeets, one canary, 6 cockatiels, 18 Alpacas, 6 dogs and a ferret, plus 4 crazy Guinea Pigs. Plus a 12 year old son, who is the love of our lives. . . DH helps me with the Alpacas when the weather is nice, and not one other thing. I have plans for gardening again, and he is good to help till, plant and even do some weeding with the other tiller, but as far as helping me put it up, nope. He loves a couple of the dogs, but I feed them. I don't care. When I am messing with the critters, I feel like all is right with me, God, and the world. Dh isn't what I would call spiritual, so I find it other places that makes me happy. I want goats, meat pigs, and maybe a miniature pony or two also, and he just rolls his eyes. BUT, if I get the fence up, find the feed and water tubs cheap somewhere, as well as the animals, then he just goes along for the ride. . .

    Do what makes YOU happy. No one else being happy is your responsibility. If he is fed and watered and wants to waste money on store bought stuff, then so be it. What you put up makes wonderful gifts for people who may not have the ability to do what you are doing. . .so just don't think you have to keep it at home. Look for a little family on hard times, and take them some of your wonderful produce and eggs. .

    My Dh has many health conditions, and has been really down mentally and physically for the past 6 years. He had to have a pacemaker put in right before Christmas, and I am beginning to see the sparkle of the young man I married 42 years ago. . .so I pray hard and often that he will come out and be part of our team again, we were so many years ago. IF not, then ok. I managed myself for the past 6 years with DS's help and I will again . . .you can love the big lugs, but you probably and most likely will never change them. That is all up to them. But, if you haven't told him how you feel, and you can't do it verbally, write him a letter. I did my DH, and told him that while he has been the center of attention because of all these health issues, I lost my best friend, and only ONE person in the past 6 years asked me how I was doing, with all his issues . . .I told him that I had always been and would always be his biggest fan and supporter and it did make a difference. Men are lugheads, they are adorable, lovable, but LUGHEADS and have to be told things. . .they aren't like women, they honestly have NO clue about how we feel about things, unless we tell them one way or the other.

    Probably went way and above board, but please don't get rid of the chickens, because if you can afford to take care of them, and they bring you joy, then you just keep on with it!! Life is too short to not enjoy the little things.
     
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  3. bucky52

    bucky52 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Do what you enjoy doing.If you resent the time and $$ that you spend than don't do it.everyone is different.My DH enjoys growing a garden.
    this will be my 3rd year in raising chickens.i will say at first my DH complain about all the work and $$ we had to spend on their coop and run.now he is attached to the girls as i am.we are both in our 60''s and really enjoy having fresh eggs and we just enjoy our chickens..do what makes you happy.
     
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  4. Fred's Hens

    Fred's Hens Chicken Obsessed Premium Member

    Shoes on the other foot here. I'm in this pretty much by myself, (rural lifestyle) but then? I pretty much new that 41 years ago when I married a city girl. Let's see, she likes books, puzzles, playing cards, going to choir, socializing, and what not. People are different. She's on her own for most of her likes too.
     
  5. r4eboxer

    r4eboxer Crooked Creek Poultry

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    Your situation is a lot like mine, thanks for your reply. I do really enjoy having chickens and my other poultry. Sometimes I just second guess myself. DH does support me in certain ways. He never complains when I need another fence put up. The only thing is that he is the one that started this LOL. He wanted goats and we did get two, he now wants pigs. UGH I'm all for getting pigs but I do hope he takes more interest in them than he has caring for the other animals. I think my hubby also has health issues, not physically but I think he is ADD, he has real trouble finishing projects. I have many many projects around the house and property that are only partially finished.

    I'm happy to hear your hubby is doing better. I'm sure both of you were really scared for a while.
     
  6. r4eboxer

    r4eboxer Crooked Creek Poultry

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    Thanks bucky, I do enjoy it, although this winter and all the frozen water has been a challenge. I don't resent the $$ we spend but sometimes I feel guilty about it. If I wasn't doing all of this we would have money for other things. But this does give me a lot of satisfaction. I really want to raise some birds up for meat. I need a plucker as I have fibromyalgia and have a hard time processing by hand. I'm going to just save up for it and get it. I can't wait to have one!!
    Wow, Fred. I don't know why but I was under the impression you had a lot of help. I know you've been doing this a long time with a lot of success. Thanks for the support. I'm going to stick with it. I think I'm going to scale down my gardening though. There is no reason to put in 100 peppers plants.

    As whispering winds suggested I have done gifts to friends. This Christmas I did 20 gift baskets full of my canned foods, homemade vanilla and other hand made items. I just need to accept that he isn't into it like I am and appreciate what ever he does with me. I just don't like being alone, I want someone to enjoy the same things I do. It is what it is though.
     
  7. ChickensAreSweet

    ChickensAreSweet Heavenly Grains for Hens

    I have felt as you have sometimes r4eboxer, as certain aspects of the things you mentioned have happened to me before.

    However, I go right along and raise the chickens, grow some vegetables, and keep it all manageable and smallish. If I find the flock getting too big then I get rid of some of them. I have learned that a large garden is too much for just me to handle. So now I raise vegetables in pots and love not having to weed. I will put my tomatoes in the ground again (this year) since they do better for me that way (tried them in pots last year for the first time), but that's not too much weeding compared to a long row of lettuce.

    I have found that without chickens (I have taken 2 chicken breaks in the past 7 years) I just miss seeing them out the kitchen window so much.

    Here is my advice:

    Keep it small and manageable.
    Continue to grow only what you will consume (or you and the chickens LOL). Let him buy and eat whatever he wants!!! Let him enjoy the freedom. And you have yours too! [​IMG]
     
  8. gg706

    gg706 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    My husband DID NOT want chickens...I battled for a couple of years to get them. We have chickens, dogs and 1 cat...I enjoy the chickens the most. If I got rid of anything it would be the dogs and cat...they are useless! At least my chickens give me something in return for my work. Could you range your chickens at all? It really cuts down the work and feed bill. Most days my chickens don't eat much food as the prefer ranging and find most of their food for themselves. And the coop stays much more clean as they only roost at night. Might not work as well in a cold climate but here in GA they can range all year around. Not sure where you live....
    Sounds like your hubby needs to leave the grocery shopping up to you! [​IMG] Does he know eating all that junk is SO bad for his health! If he changed his diet and ate out of the garden he would be so much better off! As well as feel better! Getting rid of the junk food and getting more into the gardening would be good exercise and a better diet. Maybe if he would take part in it, he would more apt to consume what he has grown. I love providing my own food...what freedom and a satisfaction! Might help to tell him most of the food has consumes from the store has been sprayed with chemicals and processed with chemicals. I believe cancer is rampant because of our food supply. I try to grow as much as possible. Lucky him to have all that you do! Need to have a heart to heart about getting healthy! Instead of buying the junk food, eat healthy from home and then spend the "junk food" money going out to eat twice a week. Might be a good compromise.
     
  9. Fred's Hens

    Fred's Hens Chicken Obsessed Premium Member

    No, no. My wife enjoys picking some things, and enjoys putting up things for winter. But, 80% - 90% is on me and with the chickens, virtually 100%. That's OK!!! 41 years of marriage teaches you how to navigate these personality/interest differences.

    For sure!!! The day the garden work is no longer enjoyable? The day the chickens are no longer enjoyable? Look inside. Is it that the entire hobby (work) is unfulfilling or just that the scale has grown too large for management? Sometimes the sense of burden is because we bite off way more than we can chew, for the long haul. Adjust.
     
  10. Sally8

    Sally8 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I'm sorry that things aren't going better. I'm sure you are finding there are others that are in the same situation. Sometimes I'm ready to give up also but I try to remember that this is my hobby. Hubby tells everyone how much he hates chickens but mornings he will go out and throw grains and let them out. About 7-10later he won't give them grain. Every night he'll go out and put them in. Just when I'm comfortable with it, he doesn't. I give them 2 big scoops of grain, he'll do the same then one day I asked if he did and he said I feed too much and only gave them 1/2 scoop. I just had 1 hatch out and live. When it started doing poorly, we bought more so it wouldn't be alone. I was only buying 3, he encouraged me to buy more. Last night he was telling me how much he hates chickens. His job is to feed the dogs at night but I always ask because one night he told me he just fed them yesterday. He doesn't help with the garden, hauling poop or even harvesting but will stand and tell me that I'm doing it wrong. "Have you ever seen that show "Snapped" lol. Remember, it's your hobby, apparently not his. When I get to the point you are I just remind myself of this. My love of my hobbies outweigh any negative he can offer. It makes me smile when he'll say to me "I don't understand how you can just stand there and watch the chickens.[​IMG]

    Have you ever read about the chicken math on here? Very easily, a few become too many and it's not always easy to get rid of them. I agree with, keep it small. A few chickens produce a lot of eggs.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2013

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