soon to be 19 yr old DD just told me.........UPdate.......post1

[chixie]

That she has decided to try to have a baby with her long time boy friend. I am in shock. I tried to talk her out of it. but what can I do... she will be 19 in june. I told her my opinions. I had her at 19 but it wasn't planned.
she decided to wait and she decided she wants to be married first...

 

[agnes_day]

uh oh...did she say why?
thats a sucky age too...legal adult but still a child for the most part. is her boyfriend on board with it and everything?

 

[Hillsvale]

not much you can say except if she is living with you. What a shame, 19 is so young.

 

[PotterWatch]

That's a difficult situation. Why does she want a baby right now?

 

[Domestic_goddess]

I had my son at 18, your life changes forever.....cause it means that you have to care and think for some else not just your self anymore. Going to college is harder, working is harder, your friends and your social life changes.......I hope she changes her mind, for her sake. It was the hardest thing I could have ever gone through.....still! That's the ulitmate nightmare for me, thinking of my daughter when she gets older.

 

[farmerlor]

What's the hurry? Is she starting to feel the old dust gather on those eggs? It's not that old "a baby will make us closer" thing is it? Golly, I'm sorry but it seems like with the all of the possibilities she has in front of her that having a baby shouldn't even make the short list. She could go to school, go to Europe, join a play, paint something.....

 

[CrazyCatNChickenLady]

NOO tell her to wait!!!(I know you've tried though!)

I'm sure at 19 she needs to get her life in order first! I'm 21 and want kids baddd, but I'm going to wait until I'm married and we buy a house!! Why raise a child when your not financially or mentally set to do so(IF you have a choice!!!)? Is she expecting you to help? does she have a job(will her BF support her while raising an infant? or pay for daycare so they can both work?)? does she live with her BF? Oy im sorry thats tough!

 

[agnes_day]

Quote:

that is great!

but so true at the same time.

 

[TriciaHowe]

Hmmmm. I had a long thing typed out but it sounded preachy, and with my oldest daughter turning 12 this year I don't have any business sounding preachy LOL! Dh and I got married when I was 19 and he was 20 but we waited 6 years to have kids. We also didn't live together before we were married and owned our own house when we got married (I didn't move in until the day of our wedding)... so we were both financially stable. If they are a good couple and financially and emotionally stable then I don't know.

Sounds like they have talked about this (which is better than a "surprise") and I think it's great that she came to you with this....

Hope it works out either way......

 

[chixie]

she lives with her boyfriend and has for a year. they have been dating for 2 years. she says they are both ready for a baby. i pray it takes them awhile. I haven't told her dad yet. I am not sure how to or even if I should.