Soooo Disappointed :( I feel selfish...


12 Years
Jan 12, 2008
Nor Cal
Jamison (DH)'s co-worker just got fired, and as a result, Jamison is on-call until further notice. On-call means that he cannot leave Sacramento, and cannot consume any alcohol at all. It's projected that he will remain on-call for at least a month, if not longer.

My 21st birthday is in 2 weeks

We were planning on going to Reno for the weekend. Nothing too crazy, just a couple drinks and maybe 5 bucks on the penny slots.

But now that plan is shot. We can't leave town and he can't even share my first legal drink with me.

I feel guilty for being so upset about this. I know it's not his fault. I was just looking forward to this so much and now our plans are ruined. And even if we manage to find something else to do, the probability of him being called away is very high.

I am trying to pull together a last minute party with some of my friends, but so far only 1 person can come.

Just wanted to share. I don't want Jamison to know I'm upset about it.


9 Years
Feb 23, 2010
Turning 21 is a milestone in life.

Accepting life is another milestone.

How about waiting on that first legal drink one more month
until Jamison can share it with you? You've waited 21 years,
another month is nothing.

Be thankful that Jamison has a job. And wait until he can share
being 21 with you.

Reno will be there.

And drinking wasn't all that fun for me anyway.



designated lawn flamingo
9 Years
May 27, 2010
Reno, Nevada
Let me just tell you that Reno is somewhat dead in the winter but our summers are amazing and full of fun events at the river downtown. We have festivals, live music, even movies in the park. It's SO MUCH FUN! maybe you could do something small and then plan a big event in Reno come summer?


Bama Biddy
11 Years
Mar 31, 2010
Tuscaloosa County, Alabama
You are to be commended for not wanting to let your husband know you are disappointed (although he probably does.) When you are 21 it is easy to focus too much on things that don't matter. Try to remember that you are so very lucky. You have a great husband with a good job. You are healthy and in a position to take trips, even if they are "no big deal." You have your whole life ahead of you and there will be lots of chances to do those things. Then think of the women your age that have it a lot worse than you do. Plan a party with your husband, in your home and make it memorable. You will cherish that memory for the rest of your life and so will your husband. Hang in there, life happens. Happy Birthday, welcome to grownup world, it may not always be fun, but it beats the alternative!


10 Years
Aug 12, 2009
Bump the trip. I have had to bump holiday celebrations until my dh is home. Have a nice time with friends and family on the birthday,but take the trip with dh later.


Covered in Pet Hair & Feathers
10 Years
Sep 22, 2009
My slice of heaven in Somerset, CA
OH, ChicknThief, I do understand. My 21st birthday was 37 years ago and I remember how important a milestone it was for me. Jamison can have some Martinelli's Sparkling Apple Cider with you that particular day.

As others have said, Reno will always be there. And when you can take that trip together, your ID won't look so much like a fake.

EKC Farms in the desert

8 Years
Aug 21, 2011
New River, AZ
I turned 21 and was stuck in Saudi Arabia. When I tured 30, my DH had surgery on his ankle that Saturday and we spent Fri, Sat, Sun, and Mon in the hospital together. Did it suck... yes... but I was happy and content to be spending the time with him. Like many people said, be happy he is there with you and not stuck at work or even overseas. Turning 21 is a cool thing, but you have many years to drink. Im sure you have probably already had a drink or two, but getting it legal is a whole new world. Enjoy the time together and when he is off call then enjoy your birthday celebration.


9 Years
Feb 23, 2010
Spook wasn't always a grumpy old man.
Once upon a time, he was quite the romantic type.

A day, even a 21st birthday, is just another day. It's
who you're with that makes every day special.

I've had good friends "cater" a dinner and evening at our
home for us.

I've hired friends to seranade my wife. (spooks can't sing)

Dancing strip-tease monkey came by.

More fire-side dinners for the two of us than I remember.

I don't remembe the dates, or the reasons. Inmaterial. We
remember the doing it, the being together.

The one thing that has made my life special, is my wife.
Thats the one thing in my life that has never changed. I won't
let it.

So don't let Jamison see disapointment. For there is truly nothing
to be disappointed about. An ideal from an old geezer with a lot
of ups and downs under the belt? Be excited to pick another day
to turn 21.

And in no way, shape, or form allow Jamison to drink--for any reason--
if his job depends on it.

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12 Years
Jan 12, 2008
Nor Cal
Thanks guys
I know it's selfish of me, but I couldn't help being a smidge disappointed lol.

We comprimised that instead of going to Reno, we will go halfsies on the Death Valley trip I am planning for his Birthday. So the trip will be our gift to each other. This way we both save money, and we both get to do something special for each other.

He is such a sweetheart. I think he is actually more upset about this than I was. I reassured him that my birthday will be super special just because we will be together and he shouldn't worry about it. I have a keeper

Thanks for putting it into perspective for me. You are right. If him being on call for a month means that he keeps his job when people are being fired, then THANK GOD FOR ON-CALL.

I feel quite silly now

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