Spouse Hates Fowl

fowlmamma

Songster
10 Years
Jan 4, 2010
217
1
111
northeastern pa
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MY HUSBAND HE USED TO BE OK NOW EVERY OTHER DAY HE SAYS ALL MY CHICKENS HAVE TO GO WHATS UP WITH THAT . I DONT KNOW IF ITS HIM BEING LAID OFF TALKING OR REALLY HIM TALKING . I TRYED TO COMPROMISE AND I GOT RID OF 7 . BUT EVERYONE ELSE IS LIKE FAMILY IF ITS BETWEEN MY FOWL OR HIM I WOULD HAVE TO GO WITH THE FOWL LOL. DOES ANYBODY ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM OR ADVICE?
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Mom 2em All

Crowing
12 Years
Apr 20, 2008
4,032
576
336
Dora, Alabama
Could you reach a compromise with him? Pen them up, assume the chores for the fowl?
I have a serious issue when a SPOUSE (not a boss, not a parent, not a Master) says something that the other SPOUSE (not employee, not a child, not a slave) absolutely cannot have, especially something that brings enjoyment.
I married my husband to be equals. If he said I could not have something that I was taking full control of- would I then be able to choose which of his things must go?

And after you gave up your fowl, then what would he make you get rid of? Because sooner or later, there will be something else.
 

debilorrah

The Great Guru of Yap
Premium Feather Member
11 Years
Aug 25, 2008
39,693
139
423
The Carpal Tunnel Rehab Center
Having chickens was a mutual decision between Ken and I and we both take care of them equally. Ken has told me a few times that one of the cats needs to go - if it is him or the cat, I am keeping Ken. A cat won't be my friend, lover, comforter, sparring partner, etc. While the cat does make me laugh, nothing can compare to Ken.

Since he used to be ok with the birds, I would try to find out the TRUE root of his issue with them now.
 

DuckLady

Administrator
BYC Staff
Premium Feather Member
14 Years
Jan 11, 2007
35,207
10,784
1,011
NE Washington State
If my spouse changed horses in the middle of the stream and just ordered me to do this or that, there would be battle royal around here. I am an equal partner in this household, not a servant girl.

Now if something was discussed with me as a way to compromise or work together, that is a different story.
 

rancher hicks

Crowing
11 Years
Feb 28, 2009
17,685
900
476
Syracuse, NY
It could be him being laid off. He is under alot of stress. Try to be understanding and not confrontational. Reassure him things will get better. The mood swings are normal. Sit down together and go over finances. See where things can be cut back to make all your bills. Show him that you can meet these and he will feel better. Do not watch the news for awhile. Talk to a financial counselor. This is what smart people do. This will help you to survey your options. Remind him of times when the two of you have been in tough situations and how you've always pulled through.
A mans job is part of his identity. He's feeling a loss. No screaming "it's not my fault you got laid off!". He knows that. No , "Well what ya expect me to do?!" Just do your best and let it go. "Honey we can do this, we've had tuff times before." "Remember when ............we got through it."
How do I know cuz I been there. I'm speaking from the voice of experience.
The bible says trouble will come , it doesn't say it comes to stay. Chin up.

Always the best

Rancher.
 

Teach97

Bantam Addict
11 Years
Nov 12, 2008
5,603
14
241
Hooker, OK
my wife isn't real pleased with my birds and other stuff bit knows my addictive nature and realizes this is lots better than home most of my family deals with it
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but being that I have taken a few counseling courses...I would bet there is something else going on there. He is watching the money for feed and is thinking I could be feeding my family with that...or possibly...I cannot even give my wife birds which she really enjoys...I would suggest a long heart to heart talk and be on the watch for signs of depression...just some thoughts. It is hard for men to not be able to take care of the ones we love and give them everything they want. Sometimes we have a tendency to take it out on the wrong things...
 

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