Stay at home moms,heres one for you.....

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by pdsavage, Jul 22, 2008.

  1. pdsavage

    pdsavage Sussex Monarch

    Mar 27, 2008
    NW,Missouri
    Got this in my email I subscribe to living on a dime news letter.....

    Are We Really Depriving Our Kids?
    by Jill Cooper

    I often hear ladies complaining that they want to stay at home with their kids but that they "have to work since it is so expensive to raise kids these days." One of the main questions I get asked about simple living is "Won't I be depriving my children if I live the frugal life?" Maybe I can answer that question with a few questions.

    Am I depriving my children by having them drink water for every meal instead of juice or soda? Isn't one thing doctors are always complaining about is we don't drink enough water? Cutting out just one glass of soda per person per day for a family of four would save $547.50 a year and make them healthier.

    Am I depriving my children by having them eat an apple or homemade granola bar for a snack instead of a bag of chips? Obesity is a major problem among children in the United States. If you cut out just one bag of chips a week you would save $104.00 a year and make them healthier.

    Am I depriving my children by having them walk to school or to a friend's house instead of my always driving them there? Lack of exercise is a big problem. You would save time and wear and tear on your car by having them walk and make them healthier at the same time.

    Am I depriving my children when I don't buy them every toy they see and want? We wouldn't dream of giving a baby on baby food all the chocolate that he wants because we know it would make him sick. His body can not tolerate that much chocolate even if he desires it.

    In the same way, an older child can't emotionally deal with the overload of toys. I as an adult become stressed just from trying to buy a bottle of shampoo. Have you ever noticed how many options you have? Trying to make a decision can be overwhelming. Do I get it for thin, fine, dry and damaged or colored and permed hair? The list goes on and on.

    When a young child looks at piles of toys, he can become very stressed over choosing which one to play with. If you watch, you will notice that they tend to play with the same couple of toys over and over. If you didn't give them all the toys they asked for and bought one less brand new toy at $10 a week, you would save $520.00 in one year and you would help relieve them of some stress.

    It is no wonder our children stay confused. We insist that they should eat healthy yet we take them out to eat 3-5 times a week at McDonald's. We give them a bag of carrot sticks in their lunch because it's healthy and then give them a bag of chips when they get home from school to get them off our backs.

    We want them to have strong character yet the moment they whine or cry for another toy or some candy at the store we give in out of guilt. We are afraid that if we don’t give them what they want, they won’t love us so to rid ourselves of uncomfortable feelings we say yes. How can we teach them to be strong in character when we are so weak?

    How could our thinking have gotten so mixed up that we think a child is deprived if a mom chooses to stay home and not go to work? We have come to believe that moms should work outside the home so that children can have the most expensive clothes, education or material things. (Note I didn't say best but rather most expensive since the most expensive doesn’t mean the best.) If a mom goes to work so a child can have all those things it's not considered depriving the child of anything but it's mom. Which do you think does a child more harm- being deprived expensive things or it’s mom?

    For you stay at home moms: Before you become too puffed up with pride be aware that too many social, church and school activities can deprive your children of you just as much as working. Do all things in moderation.

    Better to give your kids your values you have
    than the valuables you can't afford.




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    The Living On A Dime newsletter is published by:
    Kellam Media and Publishing, Inc.
    P.O. Box 844, Andover, KS 67002
     
  2. English Chick

    English Chick English Mum

    Jun 27, 2008
    Cheshire UK
    Could not agree more!
     
  3. tiffanyh

    tiffanyh Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 8, 2007
    Connecticut
    We have come to believe that moms should work outside the home so that children can have the most expensive clothes, education or material things. (Note I didn't say best but rather most expensive since the most expensive doesn’t mean the best.) If a mom goes to work so a child can have all those things it's not considered depriving the child of anything but it's mom. Which do you think does a child more harm- being deprived expensive things or it’s mom?

    I work outside of the home, less for finacial reasons and more as a personal choice. While I respect moms that are home everyday with their children ( I am home full time 3+ months a year, being home is more work than any other job), I feel I am a better mom with my own outlet.

    I have seen shows about working mom versus SAH moms, we need to remember that all women need to support each other in the care of our children. No teams, as every women most importantly wants what is best for their children. My heart goes out to women who want nothing more than to be home full time but can not afford to do so...... [​IMG]

    Go MOMS!​
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2008
  4. mmajw

    mmajw Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 31, 2008
    Maine
    I really like that.. I have stayed at home for 10 years and have enjoyed watching my kids grow and learn. I think people have guilt either way if they work or if they stay home.
     
  5. Davaroo

    Davaroo Poultry Crank

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    Feb 4, 2007
    Leesville, SC
    It's good. The most of it is a rehash; the same old moralist hype, really. UNTIL I got to this part:

    For you stay at home moms: Before you become too puffed up with pride be aware that too many social, church and school activities can deprive your children of you just as much as working. Do all things in moderation.

    Don't be smug - equal time, all around. Point well scored for the author.
    Yeah, it's good.
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2008
  6. miss_jayne

    miss_jayne Lady_Jayne

    Jun 26, 2008
    Columbiaville, MI
    here here! my kids will be the first to stand in line and tell you they like mom home and don't mind the sacrifices.

    i have been on disability due to an illness and at home. made a GREAT salary before, but you know, we don't live much differently because the money you make goes to supporting your job!!! clothes, gas, food (i travel) etc... they love me being here now and even have offered to help out more than before. (14, 10 and 9 yr olds)

    my kids know the reality and we are honest but not pressing about our finances. when my child says, "It's ONLY a dollar..." they know what a dollar really is and where the dollars go. we ended that REAL fast. they also know how to budget their own money...they tithe, save and have spending money. one recently saved money from horse sitting to buy her brother a bison hide for his b'day! (he saw it at the farmer's mkt and really loved it, he asked the price and didn't have it. he looked at me and said, "I will just have to save my money!" it was a challenge NOT a disappointment.) a good lesson, we don't need everything RIGHT NOW, we may WANT it, but we wont die.

    your post was great, and a good reminder that we have to do what is TRULY best for our families, not what society deems as acceptable...ie. anything a movie/hollywood star has should be readily available to us...whatev.

    thanks!
     
  7. miss_jayne

    miss_jayne Lady_Jayne

    Jun 26, 2008
    Columbiaville, MI
    Quote:absolutely! well said! for me, my personal beliefs teach that my first ministry is to my family, not the church. how can i minister to others if my family needs are not met? a great way to burn out fast is to light both ends of those candles!

    i love to help and volunteer like anyone, and i have a true heart for it, BUT i always ask myself, "what is my motivation? will this take away from my family?"
     
  8. tiffanyh

    tiffanyh Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 8, 2007
    Connecticut
    when my child says, "It's ONLY a dollar..." they know what a dollar really is and where the dollars go.

    And on the idea of being frugal and knowing where a dollar comes from, that I think is another BENEFIT of being a stay at home mom. My mom was home with me and I learned to have a lot of respect for a dollar. I think it causes you to be more resourceful and selfsufficent to know the value of a dollar. That is a great lesson.​
     
  9. DuckyBoys

    DuckyBoys Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 2, 2008
    Colorado
    I'm a work at home mom. Part time.

    I have mixed feelings on the "frugality" stuff. I don't think we suffer from me not working full time out of the house, but if I do go back to work I could easily make 3x my current salary, and that would be very nice.

    Kids don't suffer from frugal living IF and ONLY IF you have enough to make them feel secure. It isn't fair for kids to always be wondering where the gas money is coming from or where the grocery money is coming from. I think it is the parents job to do that stuff.

    That's just my opinion and it came from listening to my own mother ask me to pray for child support when I was a kid. She should have kept that stuff to herself. Kids don't need financial stress beyond the basics of budgeting.

    I think making sacrifices so you can stay home with your kids is noble, but only when the stress of those sacrifices don't overflow to your kids. I'm not talking about getting toys every time they go to the store, but seriously, if you're staying home and can't afford to throw a small birthday party for your kids and give them a special day once in a while, then things are out of balance.

    My parenting style stems from - you only live once and you only get one childhood so my goal while they were growing up was to give them something to look back on and say, "Wow -I had a great time when I was a kid!"

    Otherwise it isn't worth it to me.
     
  10. BowChickaBowMow

    BowChickaBowMow Chillin' With My Peeps

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    May 16, 2008
    Northern Michigan
    Nice post! I wish more mom's could read it.. especially the ones that WANT to stay home.. but don't feel they can afford it.

    I've been a SAHM off and on, I've worked full time and part time.. in and out of the home. When I've worked full time, my children were w/ DH half the time, and my mom the other half. When they started getting too whiny about it, I knew they needed me, so I found someone to cover more of my hours.

    It's always been about finding a balance for our family's needs. When we've needed extra $$ (to boost up savings after purchasing a vehicle for cash... or whatever) then we do what we need to do. When I've just felt extremely overwhelmed....I find an outlet. I help DH do weddings, and that's nice date night for us, and we get paid to do it. A break from the kids, and we're working together. Otherwise I'd go stir crazy being around them all ALL the time. Love 'em... but need some personal time too!
     

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