Stop Dressing Your Daughter Like A...

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by chickenfeathers, Nov 25, 2007.

  1. chickenfeathers

    chickenfeathers Chillin' With My Peeps

    Stop Dressing Your Daughter Like a ...

    BY CELIA RIVENBARK
    November 23, 2007

    URL: http://www.nysun.com/article/66915

    The
    princess had just graduated to a size seven when everything went to hell. We headed for our favorite department store, ready to take that leap into the world of 7–16. Bye-bye, 4–6X, I thought to myself with a tug of sadness. My baby was growing up.

    And apparently into a prostitute.

    "Where are the sevens?" I asked the sixty-something clerk who wore her glasses on a chain just like me.

    "You're standing in 'em," she said.

    Oh no, I thought, looking around. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.

    "There must be some mistake," I said. "These are, well, sl*utty-looking. I'm talking about clothes for a little girl in first grade."

    "That's all we've got."

    "But these look like things a hooker would wear!"

    She smiled sadly. "You have no idea how many times I hear that every day."

    Okay, breathe. This is just some weird marketing experiment. Right?

    I went into my second-favorite department store and was invited to peruse the awfulness that is Tweenland! A better name would be Lil Skanks!

    Sequins, fringe, neon glitter tank tops with big red lips on them, fishnet sleeves, scary dragon faces lunging from off-the-shoulder T-shirts. Whither the adorable seersucker? The pastel floral short sets? The soft cotton dresses in little-girl colors like lavender, pale pink, periwinkle blue? This stuff practically screamed SYRINGE SOLD SEPARATELY.

    I get it. Now that my kid is practically of childbearing age (is six the new seventeen?) I must choose from ripped-on-purpose jeans and T-shirts that scream things like GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL! where an embroidered flower with a buzzing bee should be.

    When did this happen? Who decided that my six-year-old should dress like a Vegas showgirl? And one with an abundance of anger issues at that?

    And why are parents buying this junk fashioned from cheesy fabrics that surely leave your dryer's lint filter full of glitter and fuzzy sequined balls?

    I hope you won't take this the wrong way -- you, the mom on the cell phone flipping your check card to your kid so she can buy the jeans that say SPANK ME on them -- but you're going down, witch.

    No, really. I'm taking you out, putting you on notice, slapping some sense into your sorry a$$.

    Just for old times' sake, I wandered through the 4-6X section. It was just an arm's length away, but it was the difference between a Happy Meal at the playground and bulimia at the bar. So far, these clothes had been left mercifully untouched by the wand of the skank fairy, whom I envision as looking a lot like Tara Reid.

    Instead of being able to buy pretty things for my daughter, sweet somethings in ice cream colors, I must now shop at big, boxy unisex stores where you can still buy shorts that don't say DELICIOUS on the bottom or T-shirts that are plain instead of, swear to God, a size 7 belly shirt with MADE YA LOOK on the front. Look at what? There's not supposed to be anything to look at on a seven-year-old. Because they're children.

    Sweet Jesus, what I'd do for a lousy ladybug collar on a smocked dress. Instead, this season's Easter look consisted of sequined and chiffon body-hugging sheaths. I know that my daughter and I will fight about clothes in a few years, perhaps horribly, but, for now, there will be none of this Little Ladies of the Night look.

    And while moms and daughters have always fought over clothes (let's face it, even Marcia Brady wore some shockingly short dresses, and those baby-doll pj's in front of stepbrother Greg were icky), the clothing wars were usually taking place between mom and teen, not mom and first-grader.

    When you see a size 7 shirt that says SEXY! or a mom and her little girl strolling through the mall in matching shorts with JUICY scrawled across the butt, you have to wonder what the hell is going on.

    The saddest part about all this is that if you dress like you're a twenty-two-year-old going out to a club after a tough day at work in the city, you don't get to enjoy being a little kid.

    Deliver me from an outraged third-grader who thinks she's entitled to the entire line at Abercrombie & Fitch. Put on a normal pair of jeans and go play kickball, you brat! And tell yo mama I said so.

    If you examine the offerings in the 7-16 department, you'll quickly discover that it's no different from the stuff in the juniors' department and beyond. There is no distinction between a kid in second grade and one in twelfth grade and a college grad who's started her first real job. Never mind how essentially stupid a little fifty-pound kid looks wearing an off-the-shoulder top with FOOL FOR LOVE in glitter letters. Hell, some of these kids can't even read cursive writing and they're wearing this junk. They adore it because it's what Gwen or Avril or Ashlee is wearing. But you're not on stage, I want to scream. You're on the monkey bars!

    The big difference between my childhood and my daughter's is that these days, the kid gets the final say. What's up with that? I can promise you that if I was eight years old and told my parents I needed eighty-dollars for sparkly jeans to rest on my hip bones and a midriff top that read TOO RICH FOR YOU, they'd have thought I had fallen off my bike and my brain had spilled out my ears.

    If you want to get at the heart of the problem, which is the parents, of course, you need look no further than those "nanny to the rescue" shows on TV.

    It's the oddest thing: In almost every show, the moms are spilling out of too-tight tank tops and Daisy Dukes. They look like teenagers, and the kids run all over them.

    When the sturdy, bespectacled Supernanny shows up at the jam-stained front door, it's clear that a new sheriff is in town. The kids see her as someone that they should probably listen to. Hmmm. Wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that she's not wearing a tank that says SWEET THANG. She means business, while Mama's over there cowering in the kitchen corner, all hair extensions and implants talking 'bout "I can't do a thing with these young'uns."

    These children should be thanking the TV gods that they didn't dispatch a tough-talking Southern bubba instead of the Supernanny. Bubba doesn't care about any Dr. Phil-ish reasons for misbehavior. He'd just arrange for "a date with Mr. Hickory Stick" and a dessert of Dial soap while saying things like, "I'll learn you some respect, lil tater."

    Okay, that's going too far, but you get the idea. I always preferred the count-to-three method of discipline. It was astonishingly effective. You want to take back parental power? Try saying "Onnnne," then "Twooooo." I never made it to "Threeeee," because my preschooler shaped up, for which I am eternally grateful, because, let's face it, if I ever got to three, I had nothing. Nada. Zip.

    If you ask me, the Supernanny should put the parents, not the kids, in the naughty room and not let them out until Mom promises to buy some clothes that fit and Dad can stop being such a wimp. ("Brandon calls his Mama names, and I just wanna cry!") Grow a spine, you freak. It's time to "man up"!

    They're kids, not short grown-ups. Remember? [​IMG]

    From "Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank" by Celia Rivenbark. [​IMG] 2006 by the author and reprinted by permission of St. Martin's Press, LLC.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. MissPrissy

    MissPrissy Overrun With Chickens Premium Member

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    May 7, 2007
    Forks, Virginia
    This is exactly why I spent the better part of the last 20 years searching, sewing and reinventing alot of clothes. Up until the last 3 or 4 years I made all of my daughters dresses. Now that I have a son I am disgusted that I can't even find a simple hoodie without some character or brand name emblazened across the front. My child is not a billboard and I won't let him to used for advertising. The children's clothing industry just makes me angry when I have to go shopping.
     
  3. tx_dane_mom

    tx_dane_mom Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 23, 2007
    SE Texas
    Whomever that author is has some amazing talent with her writing skills! I can rant & rave all day, but to be able to put it on paper with such entertainment quality and get me to finish reading that at 5:49, with a cold, while the kids are still sleeping and I'm SUPPOSED to be...now, that's SKILL [​IMG]
    Thanks for the post,
    Kristi
     
  4. TxChiknRanchers

    TxChiknRanchers Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Aug 18, 2007
    Southeast Texas
    Now that I have a son I am disgusted that I can't even find a simple hoodie without some character or brand name emblazened across the front. My child is not a billboard and I won't let him to used for advertising.

    No kidding MissPrissy the sad thing is that there is so much pressure on kids today, as always, to fit in and a childs desire to be accepted by his peers will so influence his taste.

    Cannot stand to see STUFF written on kids butts!!
    [​IMG] Dont they understand that things like that attract unwanted attention.

    Randy​
     
  5. schmoo

    schmoo Chillin' With My Peeps

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    May 7, 2007
    West MI.
    I was just talking about that at my sons schools Halloween parade last month. EVERY single "premade" 4th grade girls costume looked like a mini-hooker :| If I had a daughter NO WAY would she wear that crap. Its like advertising for child molesters..........

    Even on a normal school day. I can't believe what some of the parents let their little girls wear. Its sad.
    1/2 shirts and short skirts (during the winter too) or pants with the word juicy on the butt?! CRAZY!

    When I was in HS (not catholic) but regular public school, if your stomach was showing you were sent home. Even the cheerleaders had to wear sweatpants under their skirts on game days. This was in the late 1980's not 1950 or anything.

    Where has Americas head gone anyways?!
     
  6. Scrambled Egg

    Scrambled Egg Flock Mistress

    Aug 29, 2007
    Fayetteville, NC
    Another problem is when adults dress their daughters like miniature women and predators with no impulse control actually SEE them as mini women...we know what happens next...think of that JonBennett Ramsey case...good example...as far as teenagers dressing provocatively it really is sad that they feel that they have to actually "fit in" with the skank look. My kids have always been pretty popular, one is a brainiac and one is a race car driver so we always encouraged them to use what cool factor they had to influence other kids in a better way. My kids still say yes mam, no mam and as far as I can tell they are still popular and cool ...and will never leave my house looking like an advertisment for sex...I think that saying goes, "garbage in, garbage out"...
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2007
  7. texaschickmama

    texaschickmama Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 19, 2007
    Poolville, TX
    I am so glad that I'm not the only one that feels like this. It makes me sick to have to go into Dallas and to the "forbidden" mall and see these "moms" that are dressing there little girls so provacativly. But, what would I expect from such "uppadee" whatnots that dress just like prostitutes themselves. They are trying to live their lives through their daughters. Guess their botox in just not enough! [​IMG]
     
  8. Omeletta

    Omeletta Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jun 12, 2007
    Alberta, Canada
    Here, Here! I have 4 daughters, ages 5-13. They keep me busy! I am so thankful for the way my thirteen year old dresses...she is modest, and completely covered! She didn't come up with that on her own, it was thru our teaching...and yet as she gets older we have told her that it has to be her choice, she needs to use her own mind, instead of saying "My Mama said so..."

    I'd like to say to the mom (or Dad, sorry I wasn't paying attention) who's kids are "still" cool...BRAVO! Why do our kids have to be "just like the Jones"?

    Another warning to you Dads out there....you have a HUGE job in the eyes of your daughters...they NEED you to reaffirm them and TOUCH them in approprite ways! Without the REAL LOVE of a Father...(or Very Strong Mama, with good friends) your daughters will go "looking" for that love and affirmation. I know, because I was there, and while my husband wasn't Man enough to say no, he was man enough to be the dad and husband he should be.

    SO, you GO Men! You have a great deal of power to mold your daughter into something other than a "skank"

    Tanya
     
  9. Farmer Kitty

    Farmer Kitty Flock Mistress

    Sep 18, 2007
    Wisconsin
    The clothes for girls are crazy today! My girls are 9 and 3. I'm glad that I have kept all the clothes from my 9 year old so I don't have to try to dress both of them in decent clothes. Not only are the clothes for little girls hookerish their manners are too (for those parents who don't "buck" the clothing industry).

    Good luck to all of you trying to find "little girl" clothes for your girls! [​IMG]
     
  10. arlee453

    arlee453 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Aug 13, 2007
    near Charlotte NC
    Amen, Amen!!

    Shopping for my daughter has always been a challenge for this exact reason!

    The moment I realized just how bad this is was when my daughter was 4. Took her to K-Mart to find some summer clothes. Found NOTHING appropriate - even in the 4-6x section.

    The higlight of this bad taste exhibition was a little shorts/shirt set. On the front of the shirt was a picture of 3 cherries in a bunch. *CHERRIES*. The caption........"Freshly Picked". WHAT??? Can you say innuendo?? This was a size 4T.

    Of course kids wouldn't make the connection (hopefully) but dang, that shirt was a perv's dream!

    That's not the best part though. I came home and told DH about our shopping trip and the shirt. Had the "WHO in their RIGHT MIND would buy that for a 4 yr old??" Thought that was the end of it...

    Fast forward a few months. We were standing in line at Disney World to ride the Goofy roller coaster. We look up a few rows and THERE IT WAS somebody's precious little gift from God was up there wearing that shirt. She couldn't have been more than 5.

    Unbelievable...

    On a positive note, I think the clothes are actually getting a bit more modest in general over the last couple years. I think the Britney-show-your-body phase is slowly revolving back the other way.

    I can only hope that when my DD is a bit older and hits her teen age years 'fashion' will have swung back the other way and covering UP will be the norm!

    I do have to give her credit though - she generally gravitates to the 'I'm notta ho' clothes. I'm proud of her - and hope that lasts!!
     

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