Story.

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Lady Darkmoon, Nov 22, 2012.

  1. Yes.

    4 vote(s)
    80.0%
  2. No.

    1 vote(s)
    20.0%
  1. Lady Darkmoon

    Lady Darkmoon Out Of The Brooder

    75
    0
    29
    Nov 22, 2012
    Unknown.
    Prologue

    Lady Darkmoon ran through the forest, it was dark and cold, her cloak flew behind her. She heard the barking of the dogs chasing her, she pulled the satchel from under her cloak. it was the item she had been hoping for, she decided she had run long enough she took out a small crossbow she had dipped several darts in a perfume she wore. She loaded the dart and then fired it, the dart flew away from her and a few seconds later she heard a dull thump. she jumped and grabbed a branch of an ancient oak and swung up into it, she climbed about thirty feet high and then stopped, her breaths blew steam into the air, she heard the barks off in the distance, they had been doped again by Lady Darkmoon.
    Master Assassin.

    Would You Like More Of This Story, If I Get Four Voted (Yes.) Then I Will Post Another Chapter.
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2012
  2. TechnoCat

    TechnoCat Overrun With Chickens

    19,423
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    Nov 20, 2011
    Wherever Angel is~
    It is good, however you don't need to capitalize every letter - only 'I' and names of people or places or whatever crap like that. (Sorry, that's my pet peeve.) Also, it would help to shorten your sentences. Most of your sentences are run-ons. The idea, however, I love. Quite creative. ^-^
     
  3. Lady Darkmoon

    Lady Darkmoon Out Of The Brooder

    75
    0
    29
    Nov 22, 2012
    Unknown.
    Thanks! Ill edit it!
     
  4. TechnoCat

    TechnoCat Overrun With Chickens

    19,423
    10
    293
    Nov 20, 2011
    Wherever Angel is~
    ^-^
     
  5. Lady Darkmoon

    Lady Darkmoon Out Of The Brooder

    75
    0
    29
    Nov 22, 2012
    Unknown.
    All edited up!
     
  6. TechnoCat

    TechnoCat Overrun With Chickens

    19,423
    10
    293
    Nov 20, 2011
    Wherever Angel is~
    Also, crossbows don't shoot darts. They shoot arrows. XD I used to have a crossbow, trust me, I know. XD But that's much better. ^-^
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2012
  7. Lady Darkmoon

    Lady Darkmoon Out Of The Brooder

    75
    0
    29
    Nov 22, 2012
    Unknown.
    No they Shoot darts, its not a 2h crossbow its a crossbow about five inches long.
     
  8. TechnoCat

    TechnoCat Overrun With Chickens

    19,423
    10
    293
    Nov 20, 2011
    Wherever Angel is~
    *i'm a phail* I was imagining a PSE Tac 15 crossbow... Sue me. (JUSTKIDDINGJUSTKIDDINGJUSTKIDDING. It's what I say when I fail.)
     
  9. Lady Darkmoon

    Lady Darkmoon Out Of The Brooder

    75
    0
    29
    Nov 22, 2012
    Unknown.
    [​IMG]Okay i need just 2 more votes!
     
  10. Lady Darkmoon

    Lady Darkmoon Out Of The Brooder

    75
    0
    29
    Nov 22, 2012
    Unknown.
    One more and you'lll get Chapter 1 today!
     

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