Stressed out to the Max with life. *Kinda long*

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Goat_Walker, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. Goat_Walker

    Goat_Walker I Am THE Crazy Duck Lady

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    So i'm taking everyday one day at a time but just needed some place to get my thoughts in order and maybe get some input.

    This is my last semester of my Senior year and I am finding myself over whelmed.

    The first and biggest stress issue is School. our Student Government Association - SGA. I am the secretary and it just so happens a "really good friend" of mine is the President. Well even though she is a really good thing she is not doing her job as our President. All she seems to be able to do is complain about how she has better places to be and doesnt want to participate. She is in it for the Title basically and for it to look good on College transcripts. Me being me - I have kinda taken her job. I am now doing all the planning, organizing, conducting and calling the meeting of our members, getting ahold of organizations for volunteer work and fundraisers - EVerything.

    Since ive started taking the initiative she has become very hostile towards me and ive been told by numerous people that everytime i turn my back or leave the room she has a degrading or rude uncalled for comment to make about me. Im planning on confronting her but have been holding off because of my personality type. I am the type of person that is able to drop someone at the tip of a hat - but i am also a very forgiving person. I don't have alot of friends but instead alot of aquantiences ( sp?) and a few good friends. The list of good friends though has dwindled over the years and at the moment I have pretty much none. My first "best friend" turned on me when her girlfriend convinced her i was bad for her, yet i did nothing but stand by her as she went through an emotionally and mentally abusive home life. My next "best friend" got caught up with guys and the 'cool crowd' leaving me behind even when i was there for her when everyone else turned on her. I was even her 'body guard' for the few times she would sneak out to meet guys. They left with scars if they didnt get the message. The "BF" after that also had an abusive home life and ended up giving into drugs and running away, she now lives in a boarding school where she can have no contact with the outside world for 15 months. Then, the girl i thought who might be my next possible 'BF" is the president listed above.The few other just friends i had got crossed off the list for things like whats listed above or other more personal reasons. Ive learned that I can't really depend on alot of people. I can stand by them and have their back till the end of time but i cant depend on anyone but myself to get my own back. I'm used to being alone , used, or tossed to the side without warning but I am also used to standing up and making sure people understand that i'm not the kind of person who takes kindly to being walked over. I know ive done my fair share of wrongs but i strive everyday to live my life without lies or unhonest/unloyal ways. I Enlisted into the Marine Corps back in July and have based my character changes to reflect those morals that the USMC shines light on such an integrity, commitment, honor, and courage.

    The next thing that ive been stressed out about is i recently found out that both my parents have skin cancer. This information has only been shared with one of my friends who i know can keep their lips zipped and my recruiter. And now whoever is reading this. I leave in June for Basic training with the USMC and am leaving my younger sister for my parents to deal with. But finding out within a two week period that they BOTH have cancer? Its... wow. Its a little on the over whelming side. ANd they tell me its not a big deal and i know that its not so extreme as to need radiation and all that but... Well My mom is my hero. I look up to her in so many ways and she is such a strong woman. And now she has to go have cancer cut out of her face and back. Cut .out. of. her. face. I just dont know how thats going to effect her, if it leaves scars or anything and i worry for her because i love her so much. She's my mom. I have another 'friend' at school who has thyroid cancer. Problem is she likes to flaunt it. to everyone. ANd now that two of the most important people in my life have the big C.... It irritates me that she behaves this way. Technically she does NOT have Cancer anymore. It was all taken out back when she was in elementary school. SO when she goes on and on about how she has it , it really just drives me up the wall. SHe does it for the attention and sympathy. She is also not a very .... good person. SHe also like to 'flaunt' her 'christian' actions and beliefs yet runs around with a different guy pretty much each week to two weeks. And I know she does this because of self esteem issues and her feeling of not wanting to be alone or that she needs a guy to make her happy. Ive tried helping her out but she does not listen to anyone that thinks differently than herself. SHe is another girl who likes to degrade me behind my back even though ive stood beside her whenever she needed me.

    My third stressed out issue is the Marine Corps. I am so Excited. I know this is the right choice to start my life off with and i am so ready to be in shape and learn everything that needs to be known before bootcamp. But Ive had alot of adults take notice of my work and efforts and although its nice to know they care it feels like such a burden, They tell me how they have high hopes and expectations and i dont want to let them down. I want to be more than they expect, i dont want to dissappoint them. ALot of the people i have a GREAT respect for. I mean a HUGE respect for. ANd others are retired Marines who have taken a liking to me or family members. I will do my best to work hard but I just feel like anytime i'm not improving on something that im not doing my job. That because everyone keeps monitoring my progress that if im not getting something accomplished somehow im not working hard enough. Im just so afraid of dissappointing or failing these people. And although im getting over it a little i just feel like there is this huge burden on my shoulders.

    Then there goes my recent self esteem attacks. I got my hair cut short, about chin length since its easier to work out with. Well my most recent haircut was done by a lady that will NEVER do my hair again. Now that its a little grown out it looks decent. Well ive never been a girly girl. Ive always been the tomboy running around in the mud in boots and swimtrunks. And even though Im a little curvy im lacking in the.. ahem.. chest area. So recently whenever i go in public, if im wearing a jacket.... I get " Sir". "young man". "Guy in the hoodie". ANd it sucks. I dont wear make up because to me its not practical. True, i am good looking when i wear it but its just not something thats important to me . I work out everyday and im not here to impress people - but it sucks when complete strangers all over your city mistake you for a guy. And last time i checked im a girl. I know its not their fault that i dont strive to wear more feminine things or that i dont like make up or wearing tight clothing. Thats all my fault and my choice. But its just not a very good thing when i might have to start doing things i dont normally do just so i wont be mistaken for a male.

    Ive got a few smaller issues. My animals that im having to rehome still , my sister telling me how she hopes i die in the Marines, a recent break up, and some issues that go along with the lack of friends but these are the main points that just wont leave my mind. So thanks for reading I guess.
     
  2. PineappleMama

    PineappleMama Chillin' With My Peeps

    [​IMG] I got the "Thanks for coming in sir" from the bank manager today... yeah it's annoying.
    Used to, wearing pastels, close-fitting (around my quite round bottom) jeans, etc would be a hint, not so much any more. I totally feel you on that one.

    Sounds like your school could be called BackStabbers R Us. Yeesh. But good news is you'll be done with the soap opera that is high school soon and will begin a life that makes a difference in the world. The vast majority of your peers will not. They're still tied up in the teeny bopper drama train, you've moved on to adulthood. They aren't your responsibility, leave them in the playpen for their parents to deal with.

    Prez wise, quit doing her job and stick to yours. Live 100% up to your responsibilities and leave her to live up to hers. Should anyone come to you and ask for help, well that's totally different, lend them a hand by all means (if you can)... but just automatically doing everything for her... won't be long before she's trying to get you doing her laundry and homework. Some people are just users, if no one ever makes them stand on their own two feet, sink or swim then they'll just keep using... and then pass it on to the next generation. She prolly won't appreciate it much, having to keep your word is really hard for some people. But at least you won't be making yourself ill over it any more. Really, you have more important things on your plate... training, parents, sister, school work, etc. You don't need to try and take on anyone else's helpings.

    A great big [​IMG] to the loser backstabbers and big [​IMG] for you!
     
  3. krcote

    krcote Chillin' With My Peeps

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  4. Goat_Walker

    Goat_Walker I Am THE Crazy Duck Lady

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    [​IMG] thank you [​IMG] and its not so much im doing her job for her - more of im taking over her role as president and she is close to being fired and me possibly be assigned president. Which will ruin her nice little title on the College papers. She, unfortunantly, is the kind of person who has a facade that has been practiced for years. Fortunantly i can see right through it. She is very big on black mailing and "ruining reputations". I do not hold much thought on reputations, I just do what i think is right and because of that she has no way of black mailing or messing with me. And what makes her so mad is she knows it.
     
  5. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

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    Well look at everything that is bothering you and ask yourself this "Will this matter at all in 6 months?" Once you graduate and are in Basic Training you don't want to look back and realize you wasted a good part of your Senior year worry about crap that just was not worth wasting that precious time on. I think one time or another we have all been through the Thank you sir phase as young women, the last time I got that I was 40! I held the door open for nice older lady and I guess my jeans, boots, and flannel shirt made me a nice young man lol. Put your focus on your goals and don't let the small stuff get to you. I tried to explain to my son that things get very challenging and that is when you figure out what kind of person you are, from what I can tell you will be just fine once you get your head straightened out here. I'm sorry to hear about your parents having skin cancer, luckily that is probably one of the easier cancers to remove and treat depending on the stage and type they have. They don't want you worrying about them even though that is impossible not to do, at least they know you love them, I'm not so lucky anymore, I can't say that. You're a good kid, a good daughter, and you will be a good troop. Don't sweat the small stuff.
     
  6. Mattemma

    Mattemma Overrun With Chickens

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    Wishing your parents a speedy recovery!

    Hope your friend/president gets fired.

    Best wishes with the military!

    And the hair will grow back. I lost ALL my hair over the summer.Wore a hat for a few months,and after a while the sir comments just rolled off me.Kids called me *dad* for a while,lol.
     
  7. Goat_Walker

    Goat_Walker I Am THE Crazy Duck Lady

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    Quote:Thats exactly what i keep telling myself every time i start getting upset about all this tom foolery ( lol, tom foolery). Im trying to be mature about everything - and im not trying to sound boastful - but i am alot more mature than over 80 - 90% of the student body. And its hard to hold in my temper at times, but usually I can just let it all roll off my back. I guess im just so stressed because these are the people closest to me, and i dont let many people close to me anymore.
     
  8. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    Many wishes that your parents get healed quickly.. [​IMG]

    About the other school stuff... i KNOW itmay sound strange now..but trust me.. those people will be NOTHING in your life in a few months! YOur going off to better yourself... just concentrate on that...
    I dont even know where any of my classmates are today.... life really changes once you graduate.,..and you soon realize that you were stressing for no reason, those people TRULY do NOT matter in your life. So dont sweat them now...

    Good luck with everything.. [​IMG]
     
  9. zippitydooda

    zippitydooda Chillin' With My Peeps

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    You already seem to be doing what is "right", and you got a lot of great advice already. Here is my 2 cents worth:

    Focus on your family. The people you attend school with are not necessarily your friends. They are just classmates. I haven't seen any of the people I went to school with since I graduated. They aren't worth your getting upset over. You are a very intelligent young woman who doesn't need to stress over the small stuff.

    Focus on your education as that will never be a waste.

    Focus on your future, which you have already chosen a direction.

    Focus on your health; eat healthy, exercise and don't put anything in your body that doesn't have nutritional value. This helps with stress.

    You will find that most of the things that are stressing you out right now will be gone in under 6 months. Hang onto that, and remember that we appreciate young people who are willing to serve in the military.

    As far as looking like a guy? If you are clean, comfortable and happy in your own skin, do not let anyone else's stupid comments or opinions bother you. I was asked once when my baby was due (and I wasn't pregnant). Hurt my feelings, but I was overweight. And, people are dumb. I took that comment as inspiration to get fit.

    Hugs to you, keep your focus girl! [​IMG]
     
  10. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

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    Quote:Thats exactly what i keep telling myself every time i start getting upset about all this tom foolery ( lol, tom foolery). Im trying to be mature about everything - and im not trying to sound boastful - but i am alot more mature than over 80 - 90% of the student body. And its hard to hold in my temper at times, but usually I can just let it all roll off my back. I guess im just so stressed because these are the people closest to me, and i dont let many people close to me anymore.

    Kate I had a lot trouble my Senior year. I enlisted the summer between my Jr. and Sr. year on the delayed enlistment plan too. During my Senior year I won a few scholarships and had to give them up because of my enlistment. The Air Force flew me to Lackland during the year to try out for the AF band, I was so stressed I blew the audition. Then during basic I got into Drum and Bugle Corps the only mixed Flight in AF basic lol. Towards the beginning of my Senior year I met a guy in El Paso and fell in love,, he was stationed here at Ft. Bliss, originally from Sapulpa, OK. Everyone told me it was a bad idea but of course I didn't listen, until closer to the end of the year and I realized I had gotten engaged to a guy that was going one way in one service while I went another way in a different service. Two weeks before graduation I broke up with him and then May 24 I turned 18, May 27th I graduated, May 31st he went to home to OK on leave and I left for Basic on June 2. I put myself through so much un-needed stress that year and it cost me later in a big way. Chris and I are still wonderful friends and have been for 30 years now, we are both single, he is in OK, I'm here, but we are friends. Sweetie relax and enjoy your last year in high school, it's something you can't go back and redo, there are no do overs for that time. If your friends are too much stress, cut them out of your life now, and maybe later you can let them back in. It's hard when you have a plan for your life, and your friends don't understand. I never made friends easily and I still don't but the friends I made then are still friends now, except the ones I had to cut out. Spend time with your family and don't worry about student government so much, it will be there for next group next year!
     

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