Student at son's school committed suicide.

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by AussieSharon, May 19, 2009.

  1. AussieSharon

    AussieSharon Chillin' With My Peeps

    Dec 18, 2007
    Virginia
    My 14 year old son just came home and told me one of the girls in his school in 8th grade ( same as him ) committed suicide yesterday when she got home from school.

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    I don't know all the details, other than she shot herself. My heart just breaks for her family, friends and everyone who knew her.

    My son didn't know her well but I can tell he is upset. He says some teachers couldn't stop crying and they had councelors available at school.

    What can I do/say to him in a situation like this?
     
  2. BellLisamo

    BellLisamo Diagnosed w/ Muscovitis

    Feb 7, 2009
    Tombstone, AZ
    oh my goodness!!!!! im soooooo sorry to hear that! how terrible!!!!!!!!! i hate hearing about these things. i hope someone will answer you on what to tell your son. Are you religious at all?
     
  3. toletiquesbysam

    toletiquesbysam Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 19, 2008
    Nebraska
    Oh Sharon, I'm soo sorry your son is having to deal with this!!! My kids are about the same age, so I would just listen to him and ask how he feels about it and if he knew her and do my best to let him know you are all there for him and if he has anything he wants to talk about that he can come to you!! [​IMG]
    Be sure to tell him how much you love him and how important he is to your family!!
     
  4. mrsgibber

    mrsgibber Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jun 3, 2008
    Bolton, CT
    This breaks my heart. I'm sure your son is feeling all kinds of emotions right now. God bless you both and the poor family who's just lost their child.
     
  5. sred98

    sred98 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 18, 2008
    Oklahoma
    I think they need to be able to talk with their friends. My DD (14) lost one of her friends last year (murdered by sister's bf) and being able to grieve with her friends and go in a group to the memorial service (once they found the body) really did help.

    Don't tell him to get over it. He needs to grieve and talk about it with his friends for as long as he needs to. If you feel he is starting to obsess over it, then get the school counselor involved.

    Let him go to any and all memorial services, candlelight vigils, anything he wants to do. He has to find closure in his own way.

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    Shelly
     
  6. sparkles2307

    sparkles2307 Terd of Hurtles

    My jr Year in high school the kid whos locker was next to mine (he was one of those likeable jocks that got along with all the social groups) shot himself the night before semester finals.

    We cried, a lot. But the Principals didnt let us do much in the way of a memorial because they didnt want other kids to see it as a ay to get attention and the kill themselves too.

    They sent in grief counselors for the rest of the week and we didnt get a lot done in our classes, we just talked about it. By the end of the week everyone was ready to move on, not forget, but move on.

    I feel for him, it is hard, to this day it sometimes gets me a little. Just tell him that if he ever feels bad about himself or his life he can talk to you and that there are options that dont involve death to solve problems.... will be praying.
     
  7. AussieSharon

    AussieSharon Chillin' With My Peeps

    Dec 18, 2007
    Virginia
    Thank you for the replies. I gave my son a big hug, told him how much I loved him and let him know I was here for him. I also let him know that nothing in life, no matter how bad it seemed at the time was worth suicide and if he ever had a problem I'd be there for him.

    I'm sure I will find out more details in the next day or two. I know as a parent it is very scary to think something could be bothering your child so badly that they would opt for suicide.
     
  8. theOEGBman

    theOEGBman Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 13, 2007
    Central California
    I lost 3 fellow students in my two years of junior high. Two in a car accident and one to a heart condition. The one with the heart condition threw everyone off. She was there, then she was gone. No one was aware she had it, her parents included. She went into cardiac arrest in the waiting room at the ER and died. I went to school with her my entire life up til then and I was good friends with her sister. There isn't much to say in a situation like this, grieving is natural. Just let him know you're there to talk. The year after I left a girl at my junior high hung herself, as did a boy at my old elementary school and our local high school. And my brother's friend was killed in a car accident, and our 18 year old neighbor as well. It was a rough few years for my town.

    I know how he's feeling though. There was plenty of crying at my school, both teachers and students. Assure him you love him, it's times like this when he needs to hear it most.
     
  9. SophieLain127

    SophieLain127 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I think he needs a special dinner tonite hug him extra tight and just listen to him. Ask him if he wants to talk about it and if he says no then don't press him. If he wants to be alone then that is okay too he needs time to adjust. Remember yesterday he thought nothing bad could ever happen to him and now his world has been shook up. Maybe if you can swing it take tomarrow off work and pull him out of school go see a movie and just spend time with him go to a park take a walk. The school will understand if he needs some time.

    I'm sorry to hear that happened to your son.
     
  10. cherig22

    cherig22 Green Fields Farm

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    Sep 2, 2008
    SW Missouri
    I also let him know that nothing in life, no matter how bad it seemed at the time was worth suicide and if he ever had a problem I'd be there for him.

    Extremely well put. Reiterate that. NOTHING is worth it. Don't open a Pandora's box with examples, just let him know that NOTHING is worth it. You are there for any problem.

    If one ever comes up that just throws you for a loop, there are others who can help.

    Your son is blessed to have you, I congratulate you.

    Cheri​
     

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