Stupid is as Stupid Says

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by ChicknThief, Jun 3, 2008.

  1. ChicknThief

    ChicknThief Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 12, 2008
    Nor Cal
    [​IMG] Here are some quotable quotes from those of us whose elevators don't go all the way to the top level...


    (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
    Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
    Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because If we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,'
    --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.



    'Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.'
    --Mariah Carey



    'Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,'
    -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .



    'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,'
    --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.



    'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest
    crime rates in the country,'
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .



    'That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,'
    --A congressional candidate in Texas .



    'Half this game is ninety percent mental.'
    --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark



    'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
    --Al Gore, Vice President



    'I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .'
    -- Dan Quayle



    'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?'
    --Lee Iacocca



    'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'
    --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.



    'We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.'
    -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor .



    'Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.'
    -- Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina



    'Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas.'
    --Keppel Enderbery



    'If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.'
    --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman





    Feeling smarter yet? [​IMG]
     
  2. Alaska animal lover

    Alaska animal lover Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 30, 2008
    Palmer, Alaska
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  3. Cheekon

    Cheekon Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 26, 2008
    NY
    Oh my... [​IMG]
    People [​IMG]
     
  4. d.k

    d.k red-headed stepchild

    * Not fair making me laugh so hard so early in the morning-- I'm waking up the neighbors!!! [​IMG] (Uhh oh!! AND my chicken!!)
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2008
  5. ticks

    ticks Pheasant Obsessed

    Apr 1, 2008
    The Sticks, Vermont
    you forgot this one:
    "Awesome speech man"-George W. Bush speeking to the pope after his speech.
     
  6. chicken_boy_Kurt

    chicken_boy_Kurt Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 20, 2008
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