Have sad news again today. We lost our little cat Teddy. We had him for a good lot of years. He was about 17yrs old. Still when it comes it hurts. There has been so much death round here I feel like I am reeling from the blows. In the last 4 yrs My little nephew - drowned My mum - heart attack (she was also disabled from Polio she got when she was a girl) My Dog - Heart cancer Half my chickens My Sister in laws longterm partner - cancer. Our cat - Heart failure/brought on by thyroid. On top of that I have had to deal with my Dads grief and truma over mum dying in his arms on their wedding anniversary of all days! My sister and her disabilities (MS) My Daughter and granddaughter diognoased with a heart condition. My twin boys and their special needs from Brain damage (Prem births) - So a lifelong task now they are 26yrsold! DH having 2 heart attacks and 2 heart surgerys and now waiting on Spinal surgery. I feel like I am drowning in death and disability. Just came home from the Vet and had to clean away all the cat things. I am sooo upset and yet there seems no time to be. DH is in bed in floods of tears with the cat blanket in his arms. I am so upset for him. Teds had not been well since before Christmas. He had surgery then on his mouth and back. He needed teeth removed and also a growth on his back removed and sent for cancer screening. He got through that ok but the vet said they needed to put up a drip because he was dehydrated. We Teds didnt; really recover much. He was acting weird and drinking like crazy. We got blood tests for kidneys etc done and all came back normal. After Christmas he was eating like crazy and loosing weight? I dewormed him for the second time in less than 12 weeks about 2 weeks back. He was being sick after and not eating much at all. So I was worried and we took him to the vet again. He did thyroid tests which came back possitive. The vet checked his heart and told us it was galloping - with a murmor. We agreed to take Teds home and try him for two weeks on the thyroid tablets. We did and he was gaining wieght and even had a spring in his step. - but then wasn;t doing so well this last weekend. He was acting weird again eating coal dust and then this morning he ran into the baby gate and drank water with his front paws in the dogs water bowl? Odd for a cat to put its feet into water? So anyhow we popped him into the cat box and went for the agreed appointment. - I was feeling good about it as Teds had put weight on and looked a lot better. But when we got to the vets Ted got stressed over a dog making a lot of crying, not barking as Teds is used to Dogs. - But this pup was in pain and it did affect Teds. So his wee heart was already galloping when the Vet saw him. - Anyhow thing is the heart was worse and failing. I asked if we could take him home but the Vet said we would only have to bring him back. - I knew he would be in pain from the heart as DH was and so was mom. But I wished Ted could have died at home. But I didn;t want him to suffer. The vet said Teds would not last the week. So we reluctantly had to make the choice to say goodbye. He went to sleep real fast. Not like Murph whos heart was slow due to the ruptured heart tumour. Murph went unconcious so he didn;t know anything but it took a good 5 mins for everything to stop. With Teds he was dead imediately. There was no chance to get my head round it before it was done. Now I have been gathering his things up - wandering about the place like an idiot. Thinking I will never cuddle him again. He will never come when I call or steal food from my plate. Or spike the dogs or steel their water or pee in their food bowls (he was a bad boy!) I will miss him tonight when we eat and he is not there to get scraps. I will miss him yamming at me for more food or being perminantly stuck to DH like velcro! At the moment I just want to curl up as I feel like I have been punched in the stomach. - I have to be ok for DH who is breaking his heart.. But really I can't cope anymore. - But I have no choice. I miss Teds too, I miss mum and my hens and my dog. I miss my mum a lot. I think to myself when DH dies I will be alone and this devistating crushing punched in my stomach, I want to throw up feeling will be 100 times worse. Oes - having a really bad day. Here is my lovely Teddy boy with Dh having breakfast. . Sharing dinner with the Giz. After surgery last year. Teddy - died today 3rd March 2014.