Teenaged girls, drama, and a few scars on the wrist.

[Chickengal505]

Momagain1, I can see your point but she is not a very good manipulator, and her cutting is more of a... self thing. She hides if from other people, she doesn't want then to know. She just gets so overwhelmed with emotional pain, she "exchanges it" for physical pain. Nursing her wounds and feeling the pain shakes her out of what ever is bothering her emotionaly. And I'm planning on telling the heath teacher, she was like a second mother to all of us when I was in school and I'm shure we can trust her. And I know she'll have a outburst because the more dejected and distressed she is the worse the slef mutilation. And I think facing reality is going to scare her right now... I'm currently composing a note to Mrs. Jhonson (health teaher). I agree, someone needs to know. But I wasn't shure who.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Well... heres my opinion, again...lol
If you are so scared that shes not stable..then yeah..NOWS the time to tell her parents and get her help before she does do something that you will have to live with the rest of your life.
At least you will know that you made the RIGHT decision and talked to an adult and got her help.....
And honestly..how her parents deal with her or discipline her...isnt for you to judge.
This is a very important/dangerous thing here (If you REALLY understood how dangerous this can be, you would not hesitate to tell her parents..)... not really somethng a child should be making the decisions about. Period. Thats why you need to tell an ADULT...
The parents need to know... its the right thing to do. And i believe that you do know that..
Either way... the choice is yours.. good luck!

 

[julie75]

Holly, obviously she trusts you, or she wouldn't have told you what was going on. Believe me I don't recommend you going behind her back and doing anything. At this time you are her outlet, and she doesn't need to lose that. Her telling you was either a cry for help or wanting some positive attention or maybe both. I think you should try talking to her and suggest her talking with a therapist. It's private and confidential, make sure you stress that point. No one needs to know what goes on in that room but her and the therapist. If possible, go with her or take her so she doesn't lose the comfort that she finds with you. I understand that you don't want to upset her but obviouly you have a open line of communication with each other. Believe me I know how hard it can be. The most important thing that she needs right now is a neutral ear to help her figure out what's going on with her life. Someone that is going to listen and not be judgemental.

I'm sending you all the encouragement and support that I possible can your way.



Momagain1

You are right. I don't think that guilt ever goes away, even though I KNOW it's not my fault.

Edited to add:

Holly we stay in the same small town.
Southeastern Mental Health Hotline 910-332-6850
They can help you with the support and offer suggestions for your friend in the area. I have never used them, but their is a Mental Health provider located at the Complex right across from the Sheriff's Department.
I'm currently not sure how old you are, but if your a teen to atleast try talking to an adult that you trust-parents, grandparents, aunts, ect.

 

[terrilhb]

I do not know how old you both are exactly but someone one needs to know. I know you are afraid to break her trust. But breaking her trust is better than the other option. If she or you have a pastor or priest to talk to than I would do that 1st. Than they could talk to the parents. But an adult needs to know. Please let someone know what is happening. And please let us all know what happens. All my prayers and hugs to you all.

 

[RoeDylanda]

Chickengal, you are trying so hard and I know it seems terrible to betray her trust, but this is too much for you to carry. She needs adult intervention *right now*. What if she slips? What if the blade is sharper than she thinks? What if she has a moment of extreme teenage bad judgment and goes for a blood vessel on purpose? You cannot carry this for her, for your own mental health and safety. You have to tell an adult, the best one you can think of. School counselor, teacher, pastor, police officer, ER nurse. Pick anybody, but for your friend's sake you need to get her some psychiatric help right now. Like in the next 24 hours now. Any psych provider will know enough to ask her if she needs to be protected from her parents.

to you, and good luck, but please share this burden with an adult before something truly tragic happens.

 

[Momagain1]

I have to say; one last time; you must get her help NOW...

with that being said; I must remove myself from this conversation; but I will pray for you both!! This just hits way too close to home!! I am really sad for her..I know how hopeless she must feel...iw ish I could say it gets easy fast..but it doesnt..my daughter is still struggling even now...she's not suicidal but I still am in fear that if her boyfriend breaks up w/her, she'll go back to that way...she's way too attached to him...

Please please get her help and fast...and you cannot help her truly without intervention from her parents...they just need to know..no matter who brings it to their attention...NOW

 

[sfw2]

My daughter has a friend who's a cutter. Please, please believe us when we say that your friend needs help. This is too big a burden for you to carry. Can you tell your parents, and have them handle this? I know you don't want to betray your friend's confidence, but you may save her life by telling.

for you, and

for your friend.

 

[cackydoodledoo]

If you really are scared to tell her parents because they will punish her or whatever then find an aunt or grandmother or someone else. Just get her help. She may be mad at you now but she will thank you later!

 

[redhen]

Either way..her parents WILL find out whats going on... any therapist/doctor will need parental consent to treat her. And since its a safety issue...they WILL have to tell her parents anyways...
So..yep..her parents will find out whats going on anyway... might as well let them know first...

 

[ChicksterJo]

I don't know how else to say this but she is manipulating you into keeping a secret that's very difficult to keep. Whether she likes the consequences or not, she does need help. There are other ways to deal with emotional pain; giving one's self physical pain is not a good choice. It can go too far, and I know that I wouldn't want to blame myself, have regrets, asking "what ifs." You are being a good friend because you are asking these questions and you genuinely care for her feelings, but it's times like these that being a good friend also means taking matters into your own hands, so to speak, and making sure that you put your friend's health and safety before her trust in you. Good luck and I hope that she finds the help that she needs.