Thanksgiving Drama...

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by PineappleMama, Nov 20, 2010.

  1. PineappleMama

    PineappleMama Chillin' With My Peeps

    [​IMG] These are the days of our lives...

    Okay, so The Plan was for Kevin, Sis SO, to do up some chickens and a ham and bring it all to my house... I'd do the sides... Mom's bringing this and that... everyone converge at our house yes? Round about lunchtime so we could still head to DH's house at 5pm and not explode.

    Seemed like a good plan... Sis and Kevin were in, We were in, Mom and Uncle were in... hadn't talked to Bro.

    Evidently Bro told Sis that he wasn't coming because Kevin was going to be there. Sis is furious with him and says that if Kevin isn't welcome then her (and the kids, placed with CPS who really NEED family right now) aren't coming either.

    Now when Kevin first 'joined the family' so to speak Bro was totally okay with him... friendly and all... it was only after Sis told us that Kevin had done this that and the other (won't elaborate, family site) that Bro's opinion of Kevin changed... now he can't stand the guy. Told Sis that and she just kinda went "Uhhhh"... She doesn't seem to understand that her family would no like someone who's hurt her in the ways she's told us that Kevin has. Somehow is offended by that. And goes quiet when we remind her that it's only HER word that made us form this new opinion of him.

    Problem is we can't really know, since we weren't there, whether these things Sis told us are true and Kevin really is a *insert negative name* OR if she was just lying through her teeth in order to manipulate us. Kevin has a rap sheet (according to Mom's checking it out) so not 100% trustworthy IMO... but Sis has a LONG record of manipulation, drug abuse, etc all on her own too so not 100%.

    Upon hearing about Bro's stand, Kevin said he'll cook up the meats and just stay home, no problem... you need to be with your family, kids need to be with family... etc. But Sis is saying that Kevin IS her family and if we don't like him then tough nuggets on seeing her/the kids. Sounds to ME that Kevin is being a pretty logical fella, family first kind of attitude. While Sis is being really cranky... she's decided that the reason Bro dislikes him is "because he's black" her words, not mine. And she says it makes no sense since he was black back when Bro first met him and was nice... and so I AGAIN remind her that Bro's opinion changed when SHE told him/us about Kevin hurting her... and again with the "Uhhhh..." and circle back around the the "it's because he's black" crap.

    I do believe the guy has done some really stupid things in the past... no doubt... but the way she's acting... I just don't know if I believe he's hurt her or not. If he has, then it's really typical for her to be covering for him. But if he hasn't and she lied to all of us is she going to admit it? No. So how the devil do we sort this crap out!??!?!

    I'm at a loss... any advice appreciated.
  2. CityGirlintheCountry

    CityGirlintheCountry Green Eggs and Hamlet

    Jul 7, 2007
    Middle TN
    Ditch them all and have a lovely Thanksgiving with you, your hunny and your kids. See if CPS will let you have sis's kids for the day. Tell Sis, Bro, Mom and Kevin to be grownups and behave.
  3. Mahonri

    Mahonri Urban Desert Chicken Enthusiast Premium Member

    May 14, 2008
    North Phoenix
    My Coop
    I would no longer plan on kevin and sis for Thanksgiving.
  4. WingingIt

    WingingIt Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 16, 2009
    You invited them all. Remind them of that and that you want to see them and you'll expect everyone to be mature and civil. ANYONE who isn't willing/capable of that can make other plans. Then have a great Thanksgiving with the guests that show up. I don't to drama and grandstanding/threats, those that do can just stay home.
  5. sfw2

    sfw2 Global Menace

  6. annaraven

    annaraven Born this way

    Apr 15, 2010
    SillyCon Valley
    Keep in mind that sis may have been venting about him and not thinking about how it would come across. Some people do that - they only tell the negative their partner and then don't understand why people are upset about it - their partner is a perfectly lovely person! THey don't realize that others don't get to see both sides.

    In any case - don't let one person veto the celebration. If they choose to not attend then that's their choice. Hold the feast with whoever actually chooses to come.
  7. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 11, 2009
    Kentucky, Cecilia
    I vote with the others. You put the invitation out there. Its their choice how they want to act after that. If the brother knows she lies and manipulates then he knows just as well as you that there is a possibility that everything she claimed was bs. So let the invitations stand. Remind everyone that everyone is still invited and you expect them to act like family and you really look forward to seeing everyone. Then sit back with some doctored up egg nog and let things play out as they will.
  8. PineappleMama

    PineappleMama Chillin' With My Peeps

    Yeah we all know she CAN be a liar... but we also all know (experience) that VERY often women who are abused will LIE and cover it up...

    A PITA if I ever saw one. [​IMG]

    Tried giving Bro a call, left a message... hopefully he'll call me back. Just have ONE question for him "Have you ever seen Kevin lay so much as a finger on her?" Because frankly I've never even seen the man raise his voice, n'mind a hand... so I just don't know. But if Bro HAS witnessed that... whole 'nother ball game you know?

    So now I wait to hear from him... tick tick tick.
  9. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    Honestly..i would not get in the middle of it. Bro has his feelings for a reason...
    Just say.."who ever decides to come can come... my door is open."
    And i'd drop it from there. let them decide as adults what they want to do.
  10. PineappleMama

    PineappleMama Chillin' With My Peeps

    ^Probably what'll end up happening... considering Bro can't be bothered to talk to ME and it's at MY house... well annoying.

    Whether it effects Thanks or not I'd still like to know the answer to that question... or if, like me, we're both just trusting Sis's less than dependable word on the matter. If he's seen something then I'll KNOW that it's NOW she's lying... saying he's a sweetie. Of course if he hasn't seen anything, just trusting her, then we're really in the same boat... but still, feel I have to ask.

    As touchy as I am about abusers, paranoid really, I just don't see it. Not without drugs or something involved... he's just a VERY mellow person. Even when she left him he was POLITE for crying out loud... handled her things delicately, helped carry things out... and if I was escaping an abuser I certainly wouldn't risk getting within arm's reach of him and yet she didn't mind in the least... it just doesn't APPEAR to be an abusive situation... and he's NEVER tripped my radar... ever. But on the other hand that's my sister and I hate to not believe her if he IS a ... bleepity... and SOME day she wakes up and needs help.

    GAH! Why can't she just be a SANE, clean (no drugs), decent person!??! [​IMG]

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