The Christmas Guilt Trip... *I officially dislike Christmas* PG 3

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Iowa Roo Mom, Dec 11, 2010.

  1. Iowa Roo Mom

    Iowa Roo Mom Resistance Is Futile

    Apr 30, 2009
    Keokuk County
    So, the man and I were discussing Christmas plans, and we decided that he would come to our Christmas on Christmas Eve, and I would go to his family's house on Christmas Day. I figured this would be perfect since our family has traditionaly always done our Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve. Granted, we still have Christmas Day dinner, but gifts and the get-together has always been Christmas Eve. It was the perfect plan...

    Now my schedule has changed for work, and I am working 7PM-7AM both the 23rd and 24th. So, whilst talking to mom today I suggested we do ours around 3:00PM or 4:00PM on the 24th (normal time is around 7PM or 8PM). She then proceeds to tell me that that would be way to early for my aunt and uncle (who are both retired) and it probably won't work, and that I should just plan to stay in town and do Christmas diner with the family since I have to forgo the "party" on the 24th...

    So, rather than go on about it and make it sound like I want the world to revolve around my schedule (even though I am the only one working those days) I just let it go. I did, however, tell her that I was not going to change my plans with Chris, and that I was still planning on going out of town to be with his family on Christmas Day.

    Now there is a civil war brewing and I feel that it's all because they don't want to move the party ahead a couple of hours. I'm sure they feel it's because I am choosing his family over my own. I'm sorry, that was not my intentions... But if there is no better reason for not having the party at 3:00 other than it's "too early", my decision stands.

    I'm sorry, I just had to vent. Sometimes I give it my all and it just never seems good enough. *sigh* [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2010
  2. arabianequine

    arabianequine Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 4, 2010
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  3. PurpleChicken

    PurpleChicken Tolerated.....Mostly

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    Apr 6, 2007
    Iceland
    Ya know T, at some point you realize that you gotta take care of number #1, and holidays, especially Christmas, bring out the worst in some people. My advice is go out to dinner just the two of you and make a few brief stops at the family's houses to say hi and make your appearance. If that's not good enough for them then who the heck cares.
     
  4. scbatz33

    scbatz33 No Vacancy, Belfry Full

    Jan 23, 2009
    South GA
    I agree with pc. I'd stop by the parents house when it works for your schedule. If that means you miss the "party" so be it. But you stopped by. If they can't understand that you have to work, then the issue is more than just the timing of a holiday party.

    We stopped doing the whole "visit" thing years ago and just do our own family thing. if people want to stop by that's great. But the long and short is, the more your "family" grows, the more people are involved and the more people there are to find a reason to be offended.

    You can't please everyone. and you'll go crazy trying.
     
  5. Iowa Roo Mom

    Iowa Roo Mom Resistance Is Futile

    Apr 30, 2009
    Keokuk County
    Thanks [​IMG] Y'all are right...

    In fact, I think I will suggest making dinner on Christmas, whatever he wants. [​IMG]

    I hate guilt trips anyhow [​IMG] My family just seems to be particularly good at them as of late.. [​IMG]
     
  6. PurpleChicken

    PurpleChicken Tolerated.....Mostly

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    Quote:Amen.


    Just wait until the kids come. Then everything really changes.
     
  7. PurpleChicken

    PurpleChicken Tolerated.....Mostly

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    Quote:Yes we are! Did you doubt us??? You should feel guilty now!!! [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  8. scbatz33

    scbatz33 No Vacancy, Belfry Full

    Jan 23, 2009
    South GA
    Quote:Amen.


    Just wait until the kids come. Then everything really changes.

    Yeah that's way fun. Grandbaby "turf" wars! My mother still won't let go the fact that my ex MIL called herself "nana" first. Now, mind you, my ex MIL already had a 3 year old grandson before my first was born. AND my first born was my mother's first grandchild. Therefore, the ex MIL had been calling herself nana for 3 full years....yet some how my mother still feels she was usurped.....that was 17, yes I said SEVENTEEN, years ago.........man how I love family.
     
  9. HHandbasket

    HHandbasket The Chickeneer

    I hope this all works our well for you and your other half. [​IMG] Holidays can be very trying.

    I have to work on Christmas this year, as well, but neither of our families really lives close by so it's not an issue. My youngest son has a family of his own now, and they'll be doing their thing & we'll probably stop over there at some point to see our grandson and bring him some presents. On Christmas Eve, we're going to a candlelight service at church.

    Other than that, we'll have a very low-key, family-free Christmas. Ahhhh. My favorite kind!
     
  10. Eggs4Sale

    Eggs4Sale Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 29, 2009
    They're all retired. Think of all the time they have to sit around and plan how to mess with you.
    I thought retirees LOVED the early bird dinners!!! What's WRONG with them???? They should have their AARP cards yanked.
    I have an alternative solution: Tell them they're now supporting you since you can't keep a job and still keep up with their packed schedule. Then offer to bring the green bean casserole, and your bank deposit slip for their convenience. Or do what PC suggested. [​IMG]
     

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