As told by the recipient, a bachelor ringneck pheasant: I was minding my own business. Looking out over the pool, to the lake. I live on the screened in porch in a pen til my new home (aviary) is finished. I was a surprise. The human lady who takes care of me and brings me tasty things to eat brought me extra treats that day. I was about to find out why. The she comes back with a very large red and white box and opens the door to my enclosure. A flurry of beige comes out of the box. I did what any normal red-blooded American male would do. I jumped. Then I saw her. A vision of lovliness in cream with black speckles. An elegant tail, long dark legs. Beautiful face, gold brown eyes... And all for me! So I showed her my wings and I strutted. I danced and invited her to eat these delicious treats. And that moonless night, as I laid there snuggled up with my new bride. I looked up to the heavens and I said, "God is good."