The Night Before Christmas

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by OldGuy43, Dec 19, 2012.

  1. OldGuy43

    OldGuy43 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Twas the night before Christmas,
    and it's still in the house.
    The family is sleeping
    so I'm quiet like a mouse.

    I look at my watch
    and midnight is near.
    I think I'll slip out
    for a cold glass of beer.

    Down at the corner
    the crowd is so merry
    I end up by drinking
    about twelve Tom & Jerry's.

    I get to bed late
    and gee rest how I'm sleeping.
    When onto my bed
    those darn kids they come leaping.

    They sit on my face
    and they jump on my belly,
    and I'm quivering all over
    like a bowl full of jelly.

    They scream, "Merry Christmas!"
    My poor wife and me.
    We stumble downstairs
    and she lights up the tree.

    My head is exploding.
    My mouth tastes like a pickle.
    I step on a skate
    and fall on a tricycle.

    Before Christmas dinner
    I relax to a point.
    Than relatives start swarming
    all over the joint.

    On Christmas
    I hug and kiss my wife's mother.
    The rest of the year, uhhh
    we don't speak to each other.

    After dinner my aunt
    and my wife's uncle Louie
    get into an argument.
    They're both awful screwy.

    And all my wife's family
    say Louie is right,
    and my goofy relations
    they join in the fight.

    Back in the corner the TV is playing,
    and over the racket Katie Couric is saying,
    "Peace on Earth everybody and good will towards men."
    and just at that moment, someone slugs uncle Ben!

    They all run outside whooping
    so the neighbors will hear.
    Gee I'm glad Merry Christmas
    comes just once a year.

    Happy Yuletide from our ranch to yours. [​IMG]
     
  2. willowbranchfarm

    willowbranchfarm Chicken Boots

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    :gig that's awesome.
     

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