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The Purina Diet

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by VettekLisa, Apr 13, 2009.

  1. VettekLisa

    VettekLisa Songster

    Oct 18, 2008
    Hale, Missouri
    Got this today on email and had to share it. Enjoy!

    Purina Diet
    Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart, for my dogs, Winston, Chief, Gus and
    Max. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think, that I had an elephant?

    Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina
    Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though,
    I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body
    and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina
    nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was
    going to try it again. ( I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by

    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no, I had
    stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.

    I though the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

    Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

  2. byrandom

    byrandom Songster

    Sep 22, 2008
    Terrell, TX
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
  3. jnjross

    jnjross Songster

    Apr 3, 2008
    edwards, ms
  4. Fancie

    Fancie Songster

    Oct 31, 2008

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