The REAL reasons The chicken crosses the road...

Discussion in 'Managing Your Flock' started by SunChick, Nov 27, 2007.

  1. SunChick

    SunChick Songster

    Feb 23, 2007
    Bel Air, Maryland
    Famous People Responding to the Age Old Question: Why Did the Chicken
    Cross the Road?

    GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't think I should have to answer that.

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
    chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two
    different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to
    bring greater services to the American people.

    RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
    been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
    the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
    by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet
    it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
    out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
    crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
    can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
    dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money
    the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going.
    I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the
    price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider

    JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
    people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
    the "other side". That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my
    friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
    become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
    abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
    phrases like "the other side."

    DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die. In the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free
    to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
    enough for us.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
    listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story
    of how it had a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
    life-long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

    ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

    SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
    justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to
    the death its right to do it.

    RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
    chickens have to cross before you believe it?

    SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
    crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
    roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
    checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
    move beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean
    by chicken? Could you define "chicken" please?

    THE BIBLE:And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
    chicken, Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
    there was much rejoicing.

    COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

    5 YEAR OLD: To get to the other side.... ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!

    15 YEAR OLD: I've been hearing this joke for the past 12 years...... it
  2. CarriBrown

    CarriBrown Crowing

    PURPLECHICKEN: To get a massage. [​IMG]
  3. jeaucamom

    jeaucamom Songster

    Oct 1, 2007
    Ophir, CA
    That is truly one of the funniest things I have read in a LONG time. Thank you I needed that tonight. [​IMG] [​IMG]
  4. bayouchica

    bayouchica Songster

    Jan 23, 2007
    N.E. Louisiana
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
  5. peeps7

    peeps7 Songster

    Aug 26, 2007
    North Carolina
    OK the one with the 15 year old about made me fall out of my chair, that's funny.
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  6. Zzguy

    Zzguy In the Brooder

    Nov 25, 2007
  7. quadcam79

    quadcam79 Songster

    Oct 28, 2007
    Fernandina Beach Fl.
    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA....that was funny....I like the Jerry Falwell one [​IMG][​IMG]
  8. TxChiknRanchers

    TxChiknRanchers Songster

    Aug 18, 2007
    Southeast Texas
    GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
    enough for us.

    Have mental picture of that exactly!

    Nice break from reality thanks!
  9. Blisschick

    Blisschick not rusty

    Feb 20, 2007
    Shepherd, Texas

    The only thing missing that is Andy Rooney's reply.
  10. GrayRoo

    GrayRoo Chirping

    Oct 31, 2007
    Tucson, Arizona
    Good idea.

    ANDY ROONEY: Why is everyone asking why the chicken crossed the road? Isn’t it obvious? I know why I would cross the road if I were a chicken. And I don’t need politicians telling me about it, either! Why can’t they leave well enough alone? What has the chicken ever done to them?

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