The truth about chickens.. do not let your chickens see you read this!

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by WillsMama93, Apr 16, 2008.

  1. WillsMama93

    WillsMama93 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Mar 23, 2008
    Shreveport, La
    I was lying in bed last night thinking (as I often do, it's the only time that the house is quiet enough for my brain to actually function normally) and I think I have this chick addiction thing figured out.

    Chickens are from space.. they are aliens.. they are in disguise! That is why we have not been able to answer the age old riddles, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" or "Why did the chicken cross the road".. let me explain.

    The human race is relatively young as things go.. and the aliens are very curious as to what we will become, how we will learn, and survive. But the problem with observing us, is that they cannot do it without notice, right? Surely at some point we will notice that we are under their galactic microscope, right? So what to do? Send their scientist to study us from the inside. But not disguised as humans.. no, they could not even pretend to be as dumb as humans, and would therefore surely be noticed. They disguised themselves as a new animal, many, many mellinia ago.. and the chicken was "born". Now, they watch us, they observe our behavior and our development.. all while being cared for, and even loved by the subjects they study.
    That's why chickens are addictive.. they start off uber cute, so that humans cannot resist their infiltration into our homes.. and they stay useful, and entertaining so that we continue to allow them to watch and learn.

    That's how it works.. now, if I disappear, it will be because they know that I know the truth, and that they must stop me from passing my wisdom on to other chicken addicts....
     
  2. lurky

    lurky Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 4, 2007
    Western MA
    There is medication to make all this excess thinking stop [​IMG]
     
  3. Frizzledhen

    Frizzledhen Spear Gunnin' Coons

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    Feb 17, 2007
    Michigan
    I suppose the eggs they lay and we eat are in reality probes that enter our bodies and minds and try to figure out why we do the things we do. Now I know why my chickens look at me the way they do. They are receiving messages back from the probes in my body. [​IMG]
     
  4. Wolf-Kim

    Wolf-Kim Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jan 25, 2008
    You are so right! I mean think about it, what other creatures can make a person hover over an incubator turning eggs 2-5 times a day for 21 days only to care for the creatures young!

    They are genius! What other creature could figure out how to train a human to wake up and go to the coop in the morning to gather eggs, only to set them and grow alien offspring. They have turned us into automated alien farmers!

    Weird.
    -Kim
     
  5. Wolf-Kim

    Wolf-Kim Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jan 25, 2008
    Quote:This would also explain that when you arrive at the coop to catch a particular chicken, that one chicken knows who you are after and fights the hardest to get away!

    The mind-probes would also be used to make sure that the flock knew when you were coming so they could line up at the door and hide the rest of their advanced alien technology before you ever got there.
     
  6. d.k

    d.k red-headed stepchild

    * Ah!!!, and all this time I thought it was the cat!!!!!! ~:eek:
     
  7. Wolf-Kim

    Wolf-Kim Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jan 25, 2008
    d.k :

    * Ah!!!, and all this time I thought it was the cat!!!!!! ~:eek:

    It's both! They are in aliance with each other. The two animals that have it down to an art of having Staff instead of Owners.

    Bow to my wishes, Human! [​IMG]
     
  8. I have to agree 100% with you or else I would think you had to many collards and cornbread for dinner. But totally explains our addication to 2 legged, feathered crowing at daylight (and all day) eating everything in sight, things that we love so much.[​IMG] marrie
     
  9. d.k

    d.k red-headed stepchild

    * So, NEW unanswerable question: who's "in charge" around here??? Cats or chickens?? [​IMG] (In my house, it's the cat-- no question at all. He actively "supervises and inspects" any/all activity, investigates and "approves" all newcomers, and spends part of the day "overseeing" the chicken, "hassling" the dog, and "issuing orders" to EVERYBODY!!! [​IMG])
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2008
  10. WillsMama93

    WillsMama93 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Mar 23, 2008
    Shreveport, La
    Quote:Wow.. I had not even THOUGHT about that!! They make the probes so tasty, and we use them in just about everything, from cakes, to cassaroles..yummy little probes! And the delicious meat is just a casualty of war..
     

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