The ZEN WAY of Reality... SECRETS OF LIFE

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Davaroo, Apr 14, 2009.

  1. Davaroo

    Davaroo Poultry Crank

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    The Zen WAY of Reality . . . SECRETS OF LIFE

    01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
    Do not walk ahead, for I may not follow....
    Don't walk beside me, either. Just pretty much leave me alone.


    02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.


    03. It's always darkest before the dawn.
    So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.


    04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.


    05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.


    06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.


    07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.


    08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
    That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes.


    09. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.


    10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
    Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .


    11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.


    12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.


    13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.


    14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


    15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.


    16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.


    17. Duct tape is just like 'The Force'... It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.


    18. There are two theories to arguing with women.
    Neither one works.


    19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.


    20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.


    21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    AND

    22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time!
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2009
  2. ksacres

    ksacres At Your Service

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  3. Davaroo

    Davaroo Poultry Crank

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    Quote:I know. Cute, huh? [​IMG]
     
  4. Beed

    Beed Chillin' With My Peeps

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    ROFLMBO!!!
     
  5. Cats Critters

    Cats Critters Completely Indecisive

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  6. MSHEN

    MSHEN Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Words to live by! [​IMG]
     

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