This is Going to be Awkward...*Kicked Out*

[rodriguezpoultry]

I haven't been home since my dad got married to Barbie.

I don't know, it just feels weird. I don't sleep at home anymore because I'd be sleeping on the couch (which is NOT comfortable). There is no A/C, my brother won't use it this time of year so during the day it gets loverly and hot. In the night, it gets REALLY cold because my brother sleeps with the attic fan on and windows open. I've been spending weekends at my boyfriends' house when we visit. I've started feeling as though I only go home for the animals because I simply never get to see my Dad, I haven't seen my brother in longer than I've seen my dad.

My dad has moved in with Barbie now so I no longer have him at the house. Which would normally be a blessing, but apparently he was the only one cleaning the entire house. Without having been there in a month...I am scared as to how awful the house is going to look.


Sorry, I usually look forward to going home, but it just seems weird that I haven't seen my family in a month and it doesn't really feel "normal." I mean, when my mom passed away, normal stopped completely. It just seems awkward that the first time I get to see my dad is with Barbie as his wife. Don't get me wrong! I love Barbie, just...as a good friend.



Sorry, I'm just not sure how to deal with the situation when I get to go home this weekend.

 

[rocktheflock]

sorry, that's about all i've got. but you can have another one.

 

[BorderKelpie]

I know it's weird and it feels wrong, but remember, the only constant thing in life is change. I don't handle change well at all, so you definatly have my sympathy and support. Hugs to you and just hang in there.
I read a quote recently that I think may help. 'We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust our sails.'
Make the best of it, and live your life the best you can. That's all any of us can do.
Here's a hug for you to take with you.

Best wishes.

 

[Orpstralope]

In the same situation...keep it low key and respect the partner - it's better for all. if you have a real problem, let it develop until you have a real argument. - Caring is the key to relation, and relation is the key to success.

 

[Camelot Farms]

...its all I got too. But it comes with this also...

for luck!

 

[redhen]

 

[Msbear]

My parents divorced when I was 15. I chose to live w/ my dad on the farm. I was the only one who cleaned and when I discovered beer and boys, that stopped. Going "home" felt increasingly wierd and rather depressing. Now Im 32 and married and those fond memories of home seem to get harder to remember.

Dad is getting remarried next year to his long time girlfriend... who I like "as a friend"

I want dad to be happy but have come to the conclusion.. I can never go "home" again.

Im sorry for you and understand about your dad but can never understand what it's like losing mom at a young age. Security is what you need. It's great to have a boyfriend and a place.. but I still regret not ever doing it myself. Maybe you need a home to call your own.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Well, there are several choices you can make.

One is to visit your Dad & Barbie at their home rather than your family home--while it might still feel odd, it will probably be cleaner and more comfortable. Another option is to tell your brother that for the short time you are visiting you need the AC on during the day (compromise and keep the thermometer set as high as you can and still be comfortable) and the attic fan off at night (he can still use a room fan). Without your dad to help, your brother may have cleaned up his act. Or not. Do clean up after yourself, and it is up to you as to whether you feel like doing anything else. I think you have mentioned that you have lots of extended family, so those might be places you could stay, too. If your Dad still works, have him take you out for lunch, just the two of you. You might also try to schedule some time with just you and Barbie.

Once you have made the first visit it should help deflate the awkwardness. Right now fear of the unknown is governing your perceptions; once you are past the unknown it should be a lot better. Worst case scenario is that you'll decide to leave early and go back home (to where you live full time).

 

[gritsar]

Given our unusual circumstances I thought it was going to be hard meeting my new stepdaughters for the first time. I knew their mom had already filled their heads with all kinds of nonsense about me.
The first couple of times it was hard, uncomfortable. It's gotten easier with time. The younger daughter and I still aren't close, but at least she's stopped giving me looks that could kill.
The older daughter and I are very close.
It'll be hard, but you're strong. You'll get through this.

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

I do love Barbie...in her own way. It's just not the same ya know? She's a sweet, classy and funny lady, I just can't ever see calling her my mother. It seems like a desecration to my own mom.

Everybody asked me how I felt about him dating/ getting married. In all honesty, it never bothered me. He loved my mom and it almost killed him when she passed. It's just...different.