This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by BettyR, Jan 27, 2009.

  1. BettyR

    BettyR Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Mar 1, 2008
    Texas Gulf Coast
    This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

    After I retired 6 months ago, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring so I had to amuse myself in some way while my wife did what most women like to do - browse at a leisurely pace.

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

    Dear Mrs. Samsel,

    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away. '

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used i t as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    And last, but not least .

    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
     
  2. B. Saffles Farms

    B. Saffles Farms Mr. Yappy Chickenizer

    Nov 23, 2008
    Madisonville, TN
    [​IMG] [​IMG] See when are women gonna learn we dont like to shop.
     
  3. Pumpkinpup

    Pumpkinpup Poultry Princess

    Jul 16, 2008
    North-West Georgia
    OMG!!!!! [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] The sad thing about this is that I can see my DH or Lockedhearts DH doing any and all of these same things! It is truly sad!!!
     
  4. lovemychix

    lovemychix Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Oct 14, 2008
    Moulton Iowa
    My husband hates to shop. And I hate when he goes! Stay home. [​IMG]
     
  5. the1much

    the1much Currently Birdless Hippy

    as usual cause im a hippie, they over-exaggerated,,, it was only 20 boxes of condoms,, and it was a 10 minute interval..... geesh.
     
  6. Chickie Mamma

    Chickie Mamma Farmer at Heart

    Apr 20, 2008
    Sherman, CT
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    I can relate!!! I rather take all 3 kids to the store before I take my DH sometimes!! [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  7. snugglepup

    snugglepup Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 15, 2007
    Creedmoor, NC
    HAHAA!!! Excellent. #1 and #15 are my favorites!
     
  8. al6517

    al6517 Real Men can Cook

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    May 13, 2008
    Hey that letter looks like the one I got from them last week, After the female manager said to me, you smell so good what is that cologne your wearing, I politely said I am not wearing any cologne, I just FARTED. She then gagged and ran off.LOL LOL

    AL
     
  9. r0xiRox

    r0xiRox Out Of The Brooder

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    Jan 23, 2009
    australia
    [​IMG] zomg so funneh
     
  10. suenrob

    suenrob Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 22, 2008
    Ft. Myers, FL
    OMG< My brother-in-laws name is Sampsel and this sounds just like something he would do too!!!!!
     

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