to all you moms with shared children.

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by smom1976, Jul 3, 2008.

  1. smom1976

    smom1976 too many projects too little time!

    May 2, 2008
    Pensacola, FL
    I just want to give you all a pat on the back.

    I passed my children to my x husband today and they will be spending the next 40 days with him..

    I miss them sooooo very much [​IMG] [​IMG]

    I know that this is a part of my and the childrens lives that we have to accept. But it doesnt make it easy. They love their dad and enjoy being over there and they do only get to go about 3 times a year.

    I know I am being selfish but I do miss my babies..

    https://www.backyardchickens.com/web/viewblog.php?id=9815-my_family

    Dillon is still here, he is mine and my husbands child.. he is one and a half and was naping when they left..

    he was walking around the house saying... "Bice, Bice," and "sisse, sisse" he doesnt understand..

    I hope they have a wonderful time and I sure will miss them while they are gone. [​IMG]
     
  2. Acre of Blessings

    Acre of Blessings Canning/Sewing Addict

    Apr 3, 2008
    Axton, VA
    I totally understand exactly how you feel. My prayers for you is that you not worry to much.
     
  3. texaschickmama

    texaschickmama Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 19, 2007
    Poolville, TX
    AWWWW, enjoy the rest from them. It will make you a better mommy. I'm glad that their father wants to be in their lives. In these times, that's not always the case. [​IMG]
     
  4. smpezzi

    smpezzi Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jun 4, 2008
    Mid-Michigan
    [​IMG] [​IMG] I totally understand how you feel and how hard it is. My oldest is only with us every other week after 13 years of being here full time other than everyother weekend. You aren't being selfish you are being a mom missing her kiddos. Kudos to you for passing them off despite how much you miss them :aww The time will go by pretty quick honest!
     
  5. Mattake2

    Mattake2 Out Of The Brooder

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    Jun 11, 2008
    I'm a single dad but I can totally relate. Hopefully ya'll are able to be civil to one another like my ex-wife & I are. It certainly makes an impact on the kiddos! Peace.
     
  6. Acre of Blessings

    Acre of Blessings Canning/Sewing Addict

    Apr 3, 2008
    Axton, VA
    Quote:I totally agree with the last part due to the fact that my oldest daughters daddy showed up today after 3 years of no phone calls, no cards for b-day or Christmas, no visits, nothing, and then had the nerve to ask me if he could take her for the 4th. I DON'T THINK SO. I could not believe it. What nerve. I think it is because she will be 18 in Feb. if you know what I mean.

    smom76--try your best to get along with the other party, but please, please don't let them make you or the kids feel guilty in any way , shape or form. And do not let the ""other woman"" get to you. I feel like this is the reason my X showed up after so long. Please, go and check on them or call at least once a week to make sure that all is O.K. A visit is best though with them going to be gone so long. And if the X gets upset, bring them home.

    Just my little "vent". You can have your thread back.
     
  7. JennsPeeps

    JennsPeeps Rhymes with 'henn'

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    Jun 14, 2008
    South Puget Sound
    Think of this as a great opportunity for your kids to spend quality time with their dad. They'll have SO much to tell you when they return home, plus they'll probably be thrilled to be back.
    [​IMG]

    My DBF's kids live in Indiana (we're in WA) & their mom is not really supportive of their relationship with their dad. It breaks my heart to see how little they know about him because she only says bad stuff about him. They visited here about 2 weeks ago. The mom was fantastic about returning calls when they were here, but hasn't returned a single call since they've been back. It sucks.

    /end hijack thread
     
  8. conny63malies

    conny63malies Overrun With Chickens

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    Mar 22, 2008
    Annetta Kentucky
    No shared kids for me, but my husband has some. to be honest i tried my best , but his ex wife is filling them up with bu.......
    We had one living with us for two weeks.never again. the first day her dad went to work early she skipped school. She later told her mom, i refused to take her to the busstop or school. well girl you can walk to the busstop and you toldme you would call your step dad to come and pick you up.... i just had dental surgery the ay beforeand despite the fact that i was in a lot of pain i didnt take percocet , just so i could take her to school... they broke into my myspace , told their friends my husband was dating another woman.....
    I am through with them, she never apologized , i think i can expect that from a 16 year old..
    If they want to see him or vice versa he needs to drive down there or rent me a hotel room. I apperantly would poison them with german food.
    Sorry but i hate my braty step daughters.
    There i said it.
     
  9. FlockEweFarm

    FlockEweFarm Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jun 11, 2008
    Flagstaff,AZ
    Quote:Good Lord Hun, You are such a strong woman. [​IMG] I am divorced from my kids father, but because I am such a control freak, I would rather subject myself to the misery of dealing with him, than force him to man up and be a responsible father and get organized. I had left, made the break and started over, but when it came time for him to have the kids for the summer, and for me to have a little bit of a life, he wasnt ready. I ended up coming back because my kids wanted to see their dad. I have been stuck here ever since, a live in maid, baby sitter, cook, and manager. I havent had a break in over 12 years,(I also work during the school year and go to school full time) I know you miss your kids, but my sis calls her time without her kids her,"Sanity saver", and when her kids come back, she is reloaded and ready to go and happy. My health is terrible, I have no social life, and my chickens and my dogs are my only source of stress release, so enjoy your time, be glad he is responsible enough of a person so you dont have to hold his hand for him to be a father, and enjoy your other little one just a little bit extra.
     
  10. summerwindsfarm

    summerwindsfarm Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jun 5, 2008
    Stroud, Oklahoma
    Quote:This is sooo wrong. This is *his* time with them..let them enjoy it. Call and talk to them once a week but dont go visit and dont under any circumstances interfer with his visitation with them. Do everything that you can to keep them close to their dad as you can and i promise you in the long run you'll be glad that you did.

    I have been on both sides of it. I KNOW how hard it is to let them go. It breaks your heart and you cant help worrying. But you have the right attitude. They will enjoy themselfs and it is good for them. Like someone else said..enjoy the break from them. You know they are in good hands and its a hard full time job being a mom. See this is a time to give your littlest one some undivided attention.

    I raised two sons with my x..and it was hard. Hard when they were with him..and even harder whenever he had a new gf and no time for them. But i have never regretted working hard to keep things peaceful.

    My stepson that is my xs son spent summers with us and every other weekend and i know it was hard on his mom but we all worked hard at it and all our families blended nicely. His x and i became friends and all the boys were closer to each other and all the family got along for the kids sake. It was soo worth it.

    My hubbys x has done everything she can to turn the boys against their father and eventually suceeded pretty well sigh. When that happens its always the kids that suffer the most. And the kids end up resenting mom when they get old enough to realize just what happened.

    My youngest son isnt with the mother of his child. From 10 days old my grandson came out here for 3 days a week. First with his father and then after his fathers new gf came into the picture.. just out here with grandma because daddys new gf resents the time he spends with his son and throws temperfits whenever hes with him sigh. My grandsons mom is absolutely awesome. She works so hard to make sure he sees his son and her son grows up knowing his father. She tries far harder than he deserves since hes too spineless to stand up to the gf. Hes missing out on huge chunks of his sons life. But she gets the reward of knowing that SHE did the right thing..even if hes not.

    By being the *good guy* .. you are assuring yourself that YOUR kids will never hold it against you that they didnt grow up knowing their dad. Thats the best gift you can give yourself, your kids, and your x.. peace in the family. Sometimes it takes a lot of teeth gritting..but its worth it. Im just glad they are all over 18 now and i dont have deal with any of it anymore!!!
     

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