? to those who have had a divorce... Help my husband's boss

[SophieLain127]

I have a question for those who have been divorced. My husbands boss is in a very abusive relationship (the husband is extreamly bi-polar and refuses medication + he has extream anger problems) They are on a mortgage together and she wants a divorce. She is afraid that he will let the house forclose and it will go against her credit. She is trying to escape this marriage but she is having problems he has threatened her and her children's lives.

I've suggested contacting an attorney and getting all her paper work in order.

Get a restraining order against him, one that will keep him away from other family members, the kids schools, her work and her residence.

Liquidate what she can and rent an apartment.

Pack up what she can for herself and her kids.

Do you have any info that might help. My family would really like to help his boss she is a very nice woman in a very bad situation.

 

[Cetawin]

Contacting a lawyer is the first step for the woman. Then, she needs to contact a local "battered spouse" organization and get advice and assistance. They are tremendous help.

One thing to consider...depending on the State, and whether the state is a "equitable distribution" or a automatic split state should guide her as far as personal property and assets, In some cases, liquidating prior to filing for divorce or leaving can cause major problems in the divorce case and lead to a civil action.

She really needs to speak to a lawyer. A family relations lawyer can guide here regarding divorce, assets and handle the restraining order procedures.

 

[English Chick]

personally if the relationship is that extreme, I would also contact the police dept as well as go to see a lawyer, particularly as he is threatening her and the children......

This is quite a volatile situation and needs to be assessed by the professionals...........

I do hope that all will be well with this woman and her children. perhaps it might be wise for her not to worry about her credit file and get as far away from him as she can.

I find this situation rather disconcerting to say the least ...... they never end peacefully.

 

[luvmychicknkids]

Yes, what EC said. She needs to get away immediately and worry about the financial aspect later. I left my first husband with what I could quickly throw in my car, my pregnant belly, and my LIFE, which was the #1 priority. I wish her the best of luck.

 

[SophieLain127]

The problem with her credit is that he has messed it up so bad it will be difficult for her to get an apartment.

She would contact the police except they would only be able to hold him for maybe 24 hours. At that point he would be released and she runs the risk of not being able to flee. Our state doesn't protect our women and children of abusive relationships like they should.

 

[English Chick]

Quote:
She needs to plan her escape carefully, then have him held by the police while she takes herself and her children to safety....... I do hope this all works out for the good of the woman and her children...... their safety is paramount....

 

[vicschics]

For the sake of herself and her children she needs to run/not walk to the nearest women's shelter. They will take her in/allow her a place to stay until the husband can be dealt with. I think some places can also help her with getting some sort of housing. They will not allow the man anywhere near the premises as long as she and the children are there and they will even get the police involved through their agency. It would be the most secure/safe place for her to get her thoughts and future plans together and it is a home type setting...things for the children to do etc.

I had a friend in a similar situation and she said that the shelter was a tremendous help to her. She felt the most helpful was talking to other people and the counselors about similar situations...she didn't feel so alone at that point.

My prayers are with her and the children. This guy needs dealt with ASAP

I meant to mention she could do all of her contacting (lawyer, etc) while she is in the shelter...then she doesn't have to worry about him knowing what's going on til she is ready to make her move...

 

[Bluemoon420]

Quote:
http://www.clelaw.lib.oh.us/Public/MISC/FAQs/Dom_Violence.html

Please try to convince her to get out now. There is a link to your states domestic violence laws. There are numbers there to contact. EVERY state no matter what the laws may be have resources for domestic violence.

There are even places who keep themselves below the radar so abusive spouses can not find them. These places have MANY resources, and will help her.

Her credit is NOT something she should be worried about. Her life, and her childrens lives are way more important than credit.

Please talk to her about this, and please don't give up on her. Get her help.

Bluemoon

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I second what blue moon said. Tell me what state this woman is in and I will see what info I can get for you.


She needs to contact a shelter. They will help her with everything else. Worry about credit and housing later.




I once picked up a woman with three kids. She had a stroller, one diaper and one baby bottle and thirteen cents. She lived in shelter housing of a variety of sorts for over a year, but now has a house and graduated college (yep a 4 year degree on scholarship) and has a good job and a safe and stable life.

 

[ScoobyRoo]

Sorry this is so blunt--but it IS a no-brainer. Get a lawyer and self-help for herself and kids. Hopefully she will have supportive friends and family members to help her. I wish her the best.