Tough Week

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by herfrds, Jun 5, 2011.

  1. herfrds

    herfrds Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 11, 2010
    It started on Tuesday night with a 10 pm phone call letting me know that my grandmother had died.
    I was pretty close to her and called her every week. DH had called her that morning and was the last family member to talk to her. She passed away in her sleep.

    Was pretty trying to get things straightened out and ready for us to go down for the funeral.
    Got down there and was asked to be a pall bearer. I agreed along with DH and DS. I was the only granddaughter to do it.
    DH and I bought the casket spray, which we were glad to do.

    I got a call from one sister to tell me what was going on and was warned that sister #2 might call me. Sister #2 and I have not spoken in quite a few years, since she called me a liar and told me I was super fat.
    She called asking me what grandma's favorite flower was, I was nice and told her.

    I was warned that my mother was sick with pnuemonia. We were asked to leave early by my sister, my father and mother. We had planned to stay til Monday because the family wanted to go through the house together and everyone could say whay they wanted and if there was a dispute it could be settled then.
    We left today.

    Last night I walked outside with my mother and she told me that today we would go over to the house get the bed I was promised and she would kiss me good bye and we could go home. That floored me because I wasn't expecting that.

    Went to the cemetary this morning and on the way back we saw my uncle and DH at grandma's house. Sister #2 was driving and cut across 2 lanes of traffic to make the turn to the house, lucky we didn't get into a wreck.
    What was happening is grandma had promised me these custom made wardrobes that had been made by a family friend, I have always loved them. The guys were there to see if they could be taken apart and how we could get them out. They can be gotten out luckily.
    My uncle who is in charge asked me what else I would like to have. we had talked the day before about a few other things.
    So I was given first pick, which ticked off my sisters and mother.
    I asked for things I had already asked grandma about and she said I could have.

    Got the mixing bowl I remember her teaching me to make pies in, the little glass bowls she always gave me her homemade applesauce, I kept a coffe cup and saucer the one I remember her always drinking her coffee in, a glass serving bowl she always used and her new set of dinner ware.
    I wasn't asking for a ton of stuff and actually gave up some stuff that was mine, but I just didn't want a big family fight.

    My aunt pulled me aside and told me that the family was unhappy with me for the things I had picked. I had taken each item and asked them if anybody wanted it first. They all said no, if one had said yes then I would have probably given it to them.

    Right now I'm pretty sad and depressed.
    I miss my grandma.
  2. mississippifarmboy

    mississippifarmboy collects slightly damaged strays

    Nothing I can say to make you feel better, but [​IMG]
  3. earnhardtlvr

    earnhardtlvr Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 25, 2011
    Hagerstown, MD
    I'm so sorry about ur loss. It's horrible what a death in the family can do to the family itself after they r gone. Keep good thoughts of ur grandmom and hopefully that will help u thru the hard days ahead. [​IMG]
  4. BrattishTaz

    BrattishTaz Roo Magnet

    Jan 8, 2011
    Tampa Area, Florida
    [​IMG] I'm so sorry you lost your grandmother. I wish your family had been more supportive. [​IMG]
  5. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    So sorry that you lost your Grandmother.. [​IMG]
  6. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    I was close to my grandmother too and that is a pain that will diminish with time, but never really leaves.

    Regarding your family telling you they are unhappy with your choices. Um, they are YOUR choices. They need to put on their big girl panites and deal with it. I expect much of the same when my mother passes and I only really WANT one thing.
  7. Mattemma

    Mattemma Overrun With Chickens

    Aug 12, 2009
    Sorry for the loss of your loved one. I hope you kept the things you picked. You do not sound like the greedy (after a death) type from the things you have chosen. The others ARE sounding like that. Sometimes people act like idiots after a death.Scavanging for all kinds of things,and fighting over the silliest little item.
  8. herfrds

    herfrds Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 11, 2010
    Thank you everyone.

    I just wanted the things that reminded me of her. I also asked for the last robe she had. I have pictures of my kids with her wearing it.
    Found this multi colored scarf I remembered playing with when I was younger.
  9. chicmom

    chicmom Dances with Chickens

    Feb 24, 2009
    Strasburg Ohio
    So sorry about your grandma. It seems that, often when someone passes, the relatives get really greedy over things......I don't think you did anything wrong.

  10. Chickencoop1996

    Chickencoop1996 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 28, 2011
    southern nh
    Sorry about your grandma [​IMG]

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