Want to poll all the parents/grandparents out there...

[6littlechickies]

Never created a poll before, have an issue that's been bugging me, figured this was a good place get some input.

I have three children, a DD age 6 and two DS ages 2 and 4. Both boys just had their birthdays this month. older DS was on the 10th and younger on the 19th.

I won't go into details but my mother and I do not get along. I do not in any way keep the kids from her or say anything mean about her, we just do not get along. She does call and talk with the kids occasionally because she lives in North Carolina (we are in Ohio).

Well, both birthdays have come and gone and no call, no card, nothing from my mom (and stepdad). My father, my grandmother, my brother and my mother in law all called, sent a card and were up for their party last weekend. My mother sent me an email the Tuesday before the party saying she would not be there but would be up this weekend (Oct 30) and would like to see the children and celebrate then. I have yet to hear back on specifics of that. In her email she did not ask me to relay a 'Happy Birthday' or 'I love you' etc to either of the boys.

Part of me feels I'm being too hard as I already have a difficult relationship with her but another part of me is just angry for disappointing my kids! The 4yrDS actually asked several times why she didn't call for his birthday!? how am I supposed to answer that one?

So, I'm asking all of you....should a grandparent call (or somehow acknowledge) their grandchild on their birthday?

 

[rainplace]

I would explain to your children that not all people are good at doing birthdays. christmasses, whatever. My dad isn't and it's just the way it is. I'm not either sometimes.

It sounds like you have a good grasp of your emotions, which is good for both you and your children.

Your poll on whether or not a grandparent should... probably.

 

[Camelot Farms]

I voted YES, Absolutely!

And I wont hijack your thread with why...

lol

 

[Wifezilla]

Considering most long distance calls are now FREE, I see no reason a grandparent can't call. A card AT LEAST.

 

[Mrs. Turbo]

I think a card would be fine or a phone call....but something would be nice to let the child know they care.

DH's mom doesn't do the kids birthdays......we just don't talk about it and if they ask we say grandma "so and so" isn't good at the birthday thing

if she does come this weekend to see the kids and do the birthday thing.....then I would leave it alone and thank her for coming.

 

[debilorrah]

If they are close then yes, aboslutely. If they are far apart and don't really talk or see each other, then a card is appropriate.

 

[they'reHISchickens]

OK... I am the world's worst grandma. I don't carry pics of them, or remember to call them on their birthdays.
I love em dearly, but NOW I understand why my mother had to be reminded the day before each of my children's birthdays so she could wish them happy birthday. She had 18 grands.
I am soon to get #s 9 and 10 for me. Honestly, some years I barely remember my SO's birthday when I am really busy. And I've been known to forget my own.
Not that I don't love em lots, but I don't go in for the big celebrations. Should I call? YES!... if I can remember what the date is. The only one I REALLY remember is the one I was THERE for! The others, I remember the general time of month. Or after they are in bed sleeping.
Grandparents are different just as kids are.
BTW ,my one daughter's fondest memory of her grandmother was Grandma teaching her the anatomy of a freshly slaughtered hen whilst she stood on a chair beside her at the kitchen sink. DD thinks that is the most awesome memory. I want to be remembered like that
I should kill a chicken

 

[Wifezilla]

Someone needs to sign up for Google Calendar!
https://www.google.com/accounts/Ser...ollowup=http://www.google.com/calendar/render
(It's FREE)

 

[M To The Maxx]

Of course they should call.

 

[rainplace]

they'reHISchickens :

OK... I am the world's worst grandma. I don't carry pics of them, or remember to call them on their birthdays.
I love em dearly, but NOW I understand why my mother had to be reminded the day before each of my children's birthdays so she could wish them happy birthday. She had 18 grands.
I am soon to get #s 9 and 10 for me. Honestly, some years I barely remember my SO's birthday when I am really busy. And I've been known to forget my own.
Not that I don't love em lots, but I don't go in for the big celebrations. Should I call? YES!... if I can remember what the date is. The only one I REALLY remember is the one I was THERE for! The others, I remember the general time of month. Or after they are in bed sleeping.
Grandparents are different just as kids are.
BTW ,my one daughter's fondest memory of her grandmother was Grandma teaching her the anatomy of a freshly slaughtered hen whilst she stood on a chair beside her at the kitchen sink. DD thinks that is the most awesome memory. I want to be remembered like that
I should kill a chicken

I love the story of your daughter's fondest grandmother memory. It had nothing to do with birthdays.

On a personal note, I can't stand any occasion where I am expected to do something and then people getting mad at me because I didn't perform up to their expectations. My mom's birthday is in November. If I see something in June that screams "MOM," I wrap it up and post it with a note that says Happy Birthday.​