we lost our dog suggestions on helping a 4 yr old morn the loss


11 Years
Aug 4, 2008
its a sad day here our dog tinker got under hubbys car and he ran her over. Bad thing is our 4 yr old was in the car and she loved that dog so much. Those 2 were always together. we only had her for 4 months. I decided 4 yrs ago not to get a dog after mine got hit while we were out visiting grandma. But she begged for a dog so we got her one. Im not sure i could get a dog and deal with all this emotion if it happened agian


11 Years
Sep 9, 2008
Quote:Oh my, that's a tough one! I'm so sorry for your loss, and even sorrier for you little girl! When we had to have our 11-year old cat put to sleep, because she had cancer, we had to explain that to our kids, then 2 and 5 years old. They weren't with us when Dede was put down, of course, but afterwards we had a funeral in our backyard. The kids got to help put her in a box, they put some personal items and drawings in there with her, and then we buried her. We cried with them, held them, and let them know that we were just as sad as they were, and that feeling sad was totally okay and appropriate. I think it helped them a lot that they weren't alone with their feelings of loss.


11 Years
Dec 1, 2008
Level Cross, NC
i lost one of best friends a couple of weeks ago. I thought i was doing well untill my great-niece called and asked how River was. i told her that River had gone to heaven and she asked me if i went to go see him. She if 4 too, and just dosen't understand death.

4-H chicken mom

12 Years
Aug 3, 2007
Oberlin, OH
So sorry for your loss.
We also did what Granolamom said. I think it helps if they are apart of the process and allowed to say goodby. You are in our prayers..


BeakHouse's Mad Chicken Scientist
11 Years
Aug 17, 2008
Larry, KS
My Coop
We lost our 'first-born,' Abby- a fantastic black shepherd that was a climbing mound of fur for our girls as toddlers and a constant companion all their lives- it was awful. Both of our big dogs got hit by a speeding SUV in front of our house all of 10 seconds after they knocked down part of the fence that had been damaged in a micro-burst, unknown to us.

I was on the front porch as they came around from the back and both went right under this woman who'd gunned her Escalade as she exited the traffic circle two doors down. Henry lived, after lots of surgery; Abby was too broken, at the age of 13, for me to put her through the pelvic surgery that would be required.

We couldn't let the girls say goodbye, as they were at school and there wasn't time. It was the hardest thing I've been through. We had long talks about our favorite memories, and we put all the photos together and labeled them with things about those days photographed. We made a little garden in the yard and buried her ashes with plants for drawing butterflies, so that we could think of the way she chased butterflies.

Find memories that will work with your child and remember that children are a zillion times more resilient about death than we are. When we discussed 'Doggie Heaven' and what Abby would be doing there, they were happy, as I was crying. They comforted me. They clarified to me that I was being sad for me and Abby was good where she was now.

Get another dog- but make boundaries that will prevent that from happening again, or from another tragic occurrence. And give your husband a big hug and tell him he's a good man. He's probably internalizing a lot of pain and guilt about this.

God bless.

**Edited to add comma, because I'm a grammar nazi.
Last edited by a moderator:


12 Years
Feb 5, 2008
There's a wonderful children's book called The Tenth Good Thing About Barney. It's about a young child mourning the loss of his dog. His parents help him to remember ten good things about Barney, and in doing so, help the child to understand the cycle of life in a positive way.




In the Brooder
10 Years
Feb 21, 2009
I lost my first dog 2 day after Christmas last year. (I was 28) She was only 3 years old and it was the hardest thing I have ever done (She died of kindey failure)(We had her put down in our arms).....but it made me realize that aminals like dogs, cats, and farm animals are gifts for us to enjoy from God. The only problem is that we have to usually say when their time is up because they never stop loving you.(But that is you responsibility since you are their master)

I would encourage you to take sometime to adjust and then definity look into getting another pet.....hopefully if you got one now your child would be able to grow up with one and realize the love they can have for a pet and what happens when they get older will be a small price to pay for their enjoyment of the past.

I still miss my dog and now that the snow is gone I can see her grave. I was talking to her yesterday while I was tilling the garden near her grave but I am thankful for every second my wife and I had with her. Now I will move my love for her to her adopted sister who we got the same night we got her.

Missing you but moving forward


11 Years
Aug 4, 2008
well she did good tell i told her lets go say good bye to Tinker. She was alive when she seen her the fist time. I had hubby take her in while i looked at tinker she was doing fine i though for a few minutes no yelping or anything felt her over and notice a broken rib i went told hubby i had to get her to the vet so i went back out picked her up and thats when i knew she was not going to make it as we live a half an hour from our emergency vet, I just held her tell she was gone . Then i went and got her and told she needed to give tinky a kiss and say goodbye thats when she lost it. I almost wish i did not tell her. but then she would wonder where she was tomorrow . I told her we will go pick flowers tommorrow and give her a good funeral. Told her we will plant flowers were she is buried. she is doing better now.


13 Years
Jan 26, 2007
central Ohio
We had to deal with that too about twelve years ago when our old dog died. It was coincidental with our move to a new area and the double whammy was very hard for our son, who was the oldest, to deal with. I decided to wait for a while before getting another one. The following Christmas, almost a year later, my son put "a puppy for all of us" on his Christmas list. Well, I got us one. I took my middle daughter to the animal shelter with me and she had the fun of secretly picking out the Christmas puppy with me, just her and me. That puppy is with us still ten years later. She filled a hole in everyone's hearts and has given us all a lot of joy. I always believed in instilling a sense of respect for the loss of a friend in my children by waiting awhile before we tried to get a replacement pet. Children do learn how to deal with death and loss, by the experience of owning, loving and losing a pet, unfotunately it is very painful for everyone, but time will heal, . God bless all of you. Get her another pet after a while, is what I would do if I were you. Sorry for your loss.

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