**************** UPDATE **********************
Well, went to the house and took some pics today. When we lived there 5 years ago we not only had the upstairs clean, neat and orderly..and the upstairs bathroom in perfect working order (except the tub....the tub hasn't been usable since my DH was a teen) but I also helped out with the dogs and cooked and cleaned the downstairs also. Those dogs (5 at the time) could really make a mess in a heartbeat. I washed the walls down on an almost daily basis, mopped, swept up the shedding fur, cleaned counters constantly and helped with the litter boxes and all of the other daily chores. When we moved out the other brother moved in with his girlfriend..... they TRASHED the upstairs and even had the nerve to blame it on us.... a ton of their mess is STILL there! They NEVER helped out downstairs and left an absolute mess. We did our best when we could...helping out when he wanted us to. But he was a creature of habit and it made him uneasy to have things changed or made better...... I would grab the broom and sweep when we were there, things like that. It really fell back into disarray very quickly after we left. With the number of large animals that were in disarray themselves, it just wasn't a once in a while job. I wish so many things could have been different.
Here's our future house and current money pit
See ALL of the pics here
http://s499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/Guitartist/House/
*********************************************
Well, we found my FIL dead Sat morning.
My poor husband was the one to find him. He had a heart attack. Late the night before from what we can all figure. 3 dogs and 7 cats to deal with. Thank goodness the Victims Service lady took the youngest dog, a Golden Retriever that was his baby. She laid on his legs the whole time the EMTs, police and funeral director were there
Broke my heart and we are so relieved that she found a loving new home so quickly.
There was no will. 1 step sister that is being very dramatic about things and a very worthless brother that showed up to take the car that had his name on it even though his father was the one who had bought it (it was a stupid case of family signing for family etc) insured and registered it. He's a royal idiot and has been dodging his father for over a year due to a 24,000 car loan he defaulted on in the dad's name... sticking him with an end result of a $17,000 debt... and a $2,000 computer that they stole his information to buy and never paid for. Got a call from that creditor AS we were talking to the Funeral home director
This worthless sob even had the nerve to call up and say that he heard the house burnt down
What an idiot! And that he didn't want anything out there and then hung up.... but had NO problem bringing the police by to get "his" car! We had planned to sell it and help pay the funeral costs and credit card bills. There was no savings or assets. No will. It's a big mess. And then to hear the excuses they had at the funeral home for why they hadn't been around in MONTHS for the sister and like a YEAR for the brother..... even though they all live like 10 mins away was sickening!!!!
Infuriating!!!! But this sort of thing always shows people's true self.
So know we have to figure out how we can assume the mortgage so that we don't lose the house to the bank. There is NO equity due to a recent remortgage, and it's in very poor shape.... possibly condemnable. BUT it is my DHs family home, built by his grandfather and he wants to return it to it's former glory one project at a time. If all works out, I'm sure this will be the last home we ever buy and where we retire to someday
It's also next to our lot where our chickens are.... so it's very important that it all works out. We're (us and the sister that has ALWAYS been there and been responsible) going to the attorney's tomorrow to find out what can be done before Probate begins.
Keep your fingers crossed for us...... this is NOT going to be easy, but I certainly hope it can be done. He was going to move to town in the spring and switch the mortgage over to us.... he just never made it that far.
My DH is doing extremely well considering all that has happened. I so wish that I had been the first one in the house that day.
DH spent Thanksgiving evening with him, he took him a big supper and watched the Lions game
He never comes to our family get togethers because he's just that way... so I'm so glad that they had that quality time that night. They had a rocky relationship from early on, and I honestly didn't think they would EVER be friends. But after his mother passed away he really found a way to bond with him. He has no regrets and I think that has helped him in dealing with this immensely. We all knew his health was poor, but no one thought it would be this soon or sudden. My poor DH though, he is parentless at 32 and other than the good sister, he really has no other family that is worth anything as family goes. And he's always wanted that family structure. On stressful days he would go hang at his pop's and talk sports and news with him. He doesn't have that now and he already misses that companionship. I'm horrible with these kinds of things as I'm not easily shaken up by death because of my personal feelings on the subject..... and I know the downside to that is I don't often say the right thing that people need to hear. I had to call his sister and break the news to her that morning and I had no idea WHAT to say or how to say it. I've never had to deliver THAT message before.
This whole thing has been so sudden and surreal. Trying to sort though photos and personal effects has been so strange. It's hard to believe that he is really gone. I don't think it has fully sunk in for any of us. And it's the first time any of us have found a loved one dead. All others have been foreseen. It really brings about a whole different set of emotions and questions.
Anyhow, I just needed to speak out loud about it....... I don't need prayers or anything....... just a lent ear.
Thank you.
edited for typos
Well, went to the house and took some pics today. When we lived there 5 years ago we not only had the upstairs clean, neat and orderly..and the upstairs bathroom in perfect working order (except the tub....the tub hasn't been usable since my DH was a teen) but I also helped out with the dogs and cooked and cleaned the downstairs also. Those dogs (5 at the time) could really make a mess in a heartbeat. I washed the walls down on an almost daily basis, mopped, swept up the shedding fur, cleaned counters constantly and helped with the litter boxes and all of the other daily chores. When we moved out the other brother moved in with his girlfriend..... they TRASHED the upstairs and even had the nerve to blame it on us.... a ton of their mess is STILL there! They NEVER helped out downstairs and left an absolute mess. We did our best when we could...helping out when he wanted us to. But he was a creature of habit and it made him uneasy to have things changed or made better...... I would grab the broom and sweep when we were there, things like that. It really fell back into disarray very quickly after we left. With the number of large animals that were in disarray themselves, it just wasn't a once in a while job. I wish so many things could have been different.
Here's our future house and current money pit
See ALL of the pics here
http://s499.photobucket.com/albums/rr351/Guitartist/House/
*********************************************
Well, we found my FIL dead Sat morning.
There was no will. 1 step sister that is being very dramatic about things and a very worthless brother that showed up to take the car that had his name on it even though his father was the one who had bought it (it was a stupid case of family signing for family etc) insured and registered it. He's a royal idiot and has been dodging his father for over a year due to a 24,000 car loan he defaulted on in the dad's name... sticking him with an end result of a $17,000 debt... and a $2,000 computer that they stole his information to buy and never paid for. Got a call from that creditor AS we were talking to the Funeral home director
Infuriating!!!! But this sort of thing always shows people's true self.
So know we have to figure out how we can assume the mortgage so that we don't lose the house to the bank. There is NO equity due to a recent remortgage, and it's in very poor shape.... possibly condemnable. BUT it is my DHs family home, built by his grandfather and he wants to return it to it's former glory one project at a time. If all works out, I'm sure this will be the last home we ever buy and where we retire to someday
Keep your fingers crossed for us...... this is NOT going to be easy, but I certainly hope it can be done. He was going to move to town in the spring and switch the mortgage over to us.... he just never made it that far.
My DH is doing extremely well considering all that has happened. I so wish that I had been the first one in the house that day.
This whole thing has been so sudden and surreal. Trying to sort though photos and personal effects has been so strange. It's hard to believe that he is really gone. I don't think it has fully sunk in for any of us. And it's the first time any of us have found a loved one dead. All others have been foreseen. It really brings about a whole different set of emotions and questions.
Anyhow, I just needed to speak out loud about it....... I don't need prayers or anything....... just a lent ear.
Thank you.
edited for typos
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