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Welcome to our money pit ... New pics of our progress

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Guitartists, Nov 30, 2008.

  1. Guitartists

    Guitartists Resistance is futile

    Mar 21, 2008
    **************** UPDATE **********************

    Well, went to the house and took some pics today. When we lived there 5 years ago we not only had the upstairs clean, neat and orderly..and the upstairs bathroom in perfect working order (except the tub....the tub hasn't been usable since my DH was a teen) but I also helped out with the dogs and cooked and cleaned the downstairs also. Those dogs (5 at the time) could really make a mess in a heartbeat. I washed the walls down on an almost daily basis, mopped, swept up the shedding fur, cleaned counters constantly and helped with the litter boxes and all of the other daily chores. When we moved out the other brother moved in with his girlfriend..... they TRASHED the upstairs and even had the nerve to blame it on us.... a ton of their mess is STILL there! They NEVER helped out downstairs and left an absolute mess. We did our best when we could...helping out when he wanted us to. But he was a creature of habit and it made him uneasy to have things changed or made better...... I would grab the broom and sweep when we were there, things like that. It really fell back into disarray very quickly after we left. With the number of large animals that were in disarray themselves, it just wasn't a once in a while job. I wish so many things could have been different.

    Here's our future house and current money pit [​IMG]


    See ALL of the pics here



    Well, we found my FIL dead Sat morning. [​IMG] My poor husband was the one to find him. He had a heart attack. Late the night before from what we can all figure. 3 dogs and 7 cats to deal with. Thank goodness the Victims Service lady took the youngest dog, a Golden Retriever that was his baby. She laid on his legs the whole time the EMTs, police and funeral director were there [​IMG] Broke my heart and we are so relieved that she found a loving new home so quickly.

    There was no will. 1 step sister that is being very dramatic about things and a very worthless brother that showed up to take the car that had his name on it even though his father was the one who had bought it (it was a stupid case of family signing for family etc) insured and registered it. He's a royal idiot and has been dodging his father for over a year due to a 24,000 car loan he defaulted on in the dad's name... sticking him with an end result of a $17,000 debt... and a $2,000 computer that they stole his information to buy and never paid for. Got a call from that creditor AS we were talking to the Funeral home director [​IMG] This worthless sob even had the nerve to call up and say that he heard the house burnt down [​IMG] What an idiot! And that he didn't want anything out there and then hung up.... but had NO problem bringing the police by to get "his" car! We had planned to sell it and help pay the funeral costs and credit card bills. There was no savings or assets. No will. It's a big mess. And then to hear the excuses they had at the funeral home for why they hadn't been around in MONTHS for the sister and like a YEAR for the brother..... even though they all live like 10 mins away was sickening!!!! [​IMG]

    Infuriating!!!! But this sort of thing always shows people's true self.

    So know we have to figure out how we can assume the mortgage so that we don't lose the house to the bank. There is NO equity due to a recent remortgage, and it's in very poor shape.... possibly condemnable. BUT it is my DHs family home, built by his grandfather and he wants to return it to it's former glory one project at a time. If all works out, I'm sure this will be the last home we ever buy and where we retire to someday [​IMG] It's also next to our lot where our chickens are.... so it's very important that it all works out. We're (us and the sister that has ALWAYS been there and been responsible) going to the attorney's tomorrow to find out what can be done before Probate begins. [​IMG]

    Keep your fingers crossed for us...... this is NOT going to be easy, but I certainly hope it can be done. He was going to move to town in the spring and switch the mortgage over to us.... he just never made it that far. [​IMG]

    My DH is doing extremely well considering all that has happened. I so wish that I had been the first one in the house that day. [​IMG] DH spent Thanksgiving evening with him, he took him a big supper and watched the Lions game [​IMG] He never comes to our family get togethers because he's just that way... so I'm so glad that they had that quality time that night. They had a rocky relationship from early on, and I honestly didn't think they would EVER be friends. But after his mother passed away he really found a way to bond with him. He has no regrets and I think that has helped him in dealing with this immensely. We all knew his health was poor, but no one thought it would be this soon or sudden. My poor DH though, he is parentless at 32 and other than the good sister, he really has no other family that is worth anything as family goes. And he's always wanted that family structure. On stressful days he would go hang at his pop's and talk sports and news with him. He doesn't have that now and he already misses that companionship. I'm horrible with these kinds of things as I'm not easily shaken up by death because of my personal feelings on the subject..... and I know the downside to that is I don't often say the right thing that people need to hear. I had to call his sister and break the news to her that morning and I had no idea WHAT to say or how to say it. I've never had to deliver THAT message before. [​IMG]

    This whole thing has been so sudden and surreal. Trying to sort though photos and personal effects has been so strange. It's hard to believe that he is really gone. I don't think it has fully sunk in for any of us. And it's the first time any of us have found a loved one dead. All others have been foreseen. It really brings about a whole different set of emotions and questions.

    Anyhow, I just needed to speak out loud about it....... I don't need prayers or anything....... just a lent ear. [​IMG]

    Thank you.

    edited for typos
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2009
  2. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    It is always sad when someone passes so quickly.... And very hard to deal with difficult relatives too. In that case, I recommend taking the high road and letting the idiots fight it out. In the end your husband will more than likely get what he wants simply because that is how karma works. What goes around comes around.

    Unfortunately, because he didn't leave a will, his whole estate, house, cars, bank accounts, everything in the house, will have to go through probate. That basically means that the courts can take their sweet time about it and it could take a year or more for the estate to be settled.

    Lastly, this can be a great lesson for you and you husband. Have a will, have a trust, something that keeps the estate out of probate so it is settled upon death.
  3. LilRalphieRoosmama

    LilRalphieRoosmama Officially Quacked

    Oct 15, 2007
    Elyria, OH
    I'm so sorry for your loss [​IMG]
  4. Guitartists

    Guitartists Resistance is futile

    Mar 21, 2008
    Yeah, there is nothing but debt. If it wasn't for my DH wanting to live in his childhood home, they would just let the bank take it. It's not even worth what the bank let him remortgage it for.... they'd have realized that if they had ever actually come to the house. It's a money pit....... but DH wants it to be our money pit [​IMG] His sister also knew his dad wanted us to have it and fix it up, and she is going to do what she can to see that it happens. As for the others..... I don't think they will be around for anything else... they didn't even want to help pay for funeral costs... they certainly don't want the $50 grand debt of the house. We have our hopes up that it may be possible if we move quickly enough to get DH on the mortgage before the probate process begins. We will find out tomorrow. Obviously the bank would rather get their money then get stuck with an unsaleable house. It's in very bad shape. There have been 7 dogs and 11 cats in the home as well as a complete lack of upkeep or maintenance over the years. He mortgaged it very recently and has not paid on anything other than the interest. There is NO equity in it. So here's hoping that a bad thing turns good. Some other people we know that have been through probate in the same county seem optimistic that it won;t be so bad since there is NOTHING to split up, sell or fight over. We shall see.
  5. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    I'm sorry to hear you have to deal with all of this. Get a good lawyer and present your case at the probate hearing concerning the family members who are taking things. That is against the law even if their name is on the title with his. It has to go through probate before anything can be done.
  6. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Speaking from experience there is ALWAYS something to fight over. There was only one thing I wanted from my Grandmother's house, and I let it go. Only to find out that my other knew it was special to me and stole it. It's on my wall now. 17th century dance card holder with a gold filigree clasp to hold up your dress.
  7. mamaKate

    mamaKate Songster

    Sep 9, 2008
    SE MO
    You sound like you're on top of this thing, at least as much as one can be in such a situation. Prayers anyway.
    Kate [​IMG]
  8. Dixiedoodle

    Dixiedoodle Songster

    Apr 14, 2007
    Been there and done that with family and the death of parents! The 'rats' will always come around, when they think their is a tiny bit of 'cheese' for them! [​IMG] I am sorry for your loss and I hope things work out for you.. Prayers..Dixie
  9. Guitartists

    Guitartists Resistance is futile

    Mar 21, 2008
    Thanks everyone.... unfortunately the way his da handled the car thing was technically fraud... you know, sometimes you do nice things or allow others to help you even when it's not by the letter of the law. Only the son's name was on the title... so there is no legal recourse... and honestly.... it's done now. We all see him for what he is, and his life is a big cesspool... so he's getting his, even if he did get a FREE car! So [​IMG] on him. He can have the car...... I'm sure his day of reckoning is coming [​IMG] He was a HORRIBLE son and a very small person. I should feel sorry for him... but I also know the stress and heartache he put his father through. It was a split family. The bad son is the fathers true blood and my DH is not even blood, just adopted. Good daughter is his blood daughter and no relation to my DH and bad sister is DH's mothers daughter from a previous marriage and half sister to my DH. It's like a frellin soap opera. One of the last things his dad said was that he was so proud of Shawn (my DH) and wished the other had never been his son and couldn't believe how he had turned out. It's such a mess. When my DH's mother passed away from Ovarian cancer..... the stupid sob didn;t even come see her on her deathbed. He told everyone she had Alzheimers and it killed her .... we think he's mentally challenged and never diagnosed.... we honestly find it hard to believe that he's just THAT stupid. He never helped out when they lost their jobs when his mom and dad got ill at the same time and disability hadn't kicked in. He was even living there at the time. He went and got his truck a new paint job and didn't help with the bills and even complained to people that we expected him to help. He's a worthless individual...... and his wife is a compulsive liar... so it makes it a lot of fun to have to deal with them.

    They moved in 2 years ago for 2 months and managed to completely destroy the upstairs...... the bathroom was so nasty.... we even found used tampons thrown all over the shelves, etc because they didn't know how to use the trash. They completely clogged the toilet and sink and THEN had the balls to say that WE did it! It's all I can do to not spit on them when I see them. They avoid me and the DH like a plague. Being brothers, there have been fights when they were younger...... he knows to stay away now that all of this has happened. DH is not prone to hitting people..... but he's walking the line with his brother.

    It's like this saying I saw recently..... Violence is not the answer, but I wasn't trying to be right! HA! I don't think it will ever come to that.... but geez, how much should a person have to bear. They like to spread lies about us..... not even exaggerations, I'm talking complete fabrications. It's unbelievable sometimes. I've had stupid people in my life before.... but these two really take the cake.
  10. ChickaD

    ChickaD Songster

    Aug 6, 2008
    central Vermont
    Gee, I'm so sorry you and your DH have to go through all this mess...a sudden death of a loved one would be bad enough without all other difficulties and personalities. [​IMG] Hope things go smoothly and you can move past this.

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