What are internet threats?

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by EweSheep, Jan 14, 2011.

  1. EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

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    Two days ago, it was pretty nasty....regarding to a good friend of ours, about online relationships and they need to meet together after being online/phone tags over four years, never personally met each other, blah blah blah. I suggested to her to call her "BF" to meet together, he can fly in from Boston to IL for the weekend "getting to know you" kind of thing. It never happened. Then the breaking point was she "is engaged to be engaged". He was going to give her a "promise" ring, not an engagement ring. And all the excited riff raff going on. Mother radar in me went off and I thought is she off her rocker???? I never heard of a term "is engaged to be engaged" and a promise ring but no real communication in person to see if they can see the "REAL" person face to face. She turned 21 a few months ago and know this guy over four years ago online dating website.

    I expressed my opinions on that matter which I didn't think she is actually engaged, not letting her parents know the real going ons, etc. and a promise ring can be a promise of friendship, promise to be faithful but that is something you give to a dear friend, not a person whom you want to marry.


    I digress........more stories, up and downs, etc. Marriage is HARD work but it has its rewards.

    Now I am getting emails either they are harassing or threats from her friends.....

    "You better back off girl! She is my friend, not yours! Call yourself a friend??!! If I see you again, I will throw s*** at you and s*** will fly!" That one does not bother me, I quoted to her, make sure it hits the garden, because I need some! [​IMG] She didn't think it was funny.

    The other two....... [​IMG]

    "When I see you again, I am coming after you!"

    "You don't know her, and if I see you, I am going to really "b****-slap you! I mean it!"


    I forward these emails to a cop friend of ours, and he said he is not liking it at all. The first one, he would not get worked up about it....just do make sure it does go into the garden. If she did throw crap on me, then it would be considered assault and battery and having those emails in his computer, he can print it out for evidence.

    The other two, he said, he would take it very seriously.....told me to watch my back at this town at this event. He is not telling me a whole lot except he is bringing it to the attention of his supervisor next week. "They are not playing with a full deck with these threats and what's worse, killing or seriously injuring a mother, who would want your daughter to be motherless or a mother that can not help her at the time of her need????" Internet threats are taken very seriously and sometimes it may not be anything than being so angry or they will carry out the acts. He also suggested if I ever get any more threatening emails, no matter how trivial it looks or sounds, they want it. Plus with the BF's record, I also know that he is heavily tattooed and piercings all over and a very questional past that he did commit crimes. Cop friend is looking into that as well to make sure he is not an internet predator or on the "wanted" list.

    Hubby is not happy about this at all but level head prevails.

    Okay folks, "engaged to be engaged", I may be old but the simple "I am engaged" would simply things easily. I may be an old fart that needs to learn "teenager" word lingo so can one be "engaged to be engaged??? or something similar to that??? What does it mean??? Are they actually engaged? He didn't ask her parent's permission to marry nor her parents know.

    What is a promise ring, really? To me, back in my days, it was given to high school or very good close friends, male or female or both, to promise each other the friendship, the bond, and stand by your partner but it does not mean "marriage" or to be bethrothed.

    Engagement rings are the promise of marriage, the expectation of marriage, planning of marriage with the wedding plans taken in place, finding date of marriage and all the good stuff in there. Mapping out their future as well.

    Your opinions, educational suggestions or lectures would be welcome for this old fart! [​IMG] I want to know what teenagers or early 20's people do for marriages, online dating rules, etc.

    I did block her from my FB......man, she was very upset, kept IM, emails and FB messages into me saying she does not control what her friends are saying. And still wants my friendship and she knows that it is just merely an opinion. Ten minutes later, she went back to tell her friends that she is engaged and making plans of weddings and so forth.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. rodriguezpoultry

    rodriguezpoultry Langshan Lover

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    Nowadays, "promise rings" are given as a promise to be married. Usually because the giver/receiver is too young to be married or has too little money to purchase a real engagement ring.
     
  3. EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

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    Quote:[​IMG] Got ya! Yep, they don't have any money LOL!
     
  4. vfem

    vfem Yoga...The Chicken Pose

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    Well, my view of an internet threat is when I try to log onto BYC and get the message "Internet Can Not Be Detected". That is the most threatening thing I can think of!!!! [​IMG]

    ANyways, that's what I thought when I saw the title. As for the situation... what can you do... if she wants your opinion then she should probably listen to you. Other then that, its just bullying. People are pretty nasty online, but don't have the guts to one's face. That I have learned from the internet... its faceless!
     
  5. SparksNV

    SparksNV Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I don't get the "engaged to be engaged". My eldest dd (27 yo) is in an "exclusive relationship" but they are not "boyfriend/girlfriend". [​IMG]

    Good luck...
     
  6. I have WHAT in my yard?

    I have WHAT in my yard? Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 24, 2008
    Eggberg, PA
    Quote:That is a friend with benefits relationship. Sorry, but that is what that means.

    What rodriguez said about the promise ring thing. It usually means they are too young, too broke or both. But, I am puzzled. You are NOT her mother?? You are?? She turned 21 and has been involved in this "relationship" using the term very losely for 4 years? So she was a minor when it started?? Do we know how old he is??


    Classic grooming behavior in some senses though he has waited pretty long to do anything about it, it still has that ring to it. To me........, I am jaded......
     
  7. EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

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    I have WHAT in my yard? :

    Quote:That is a friend with benefits relationship. Sorry, but that is what that means.

    What rodriguez said about the promise ring thing. It usually means they are too young, too broke or both. But, I am puzzled. You are NOT her mother?? You are?? She turned 21 and has been involved in this "relationship" using the term very losely for 4 years? So she was a minor when it started?? Do we know how old he is??


    Classic grooming behavior in some senses though he has waited pretty long to do anything about it, it still has that ring to it. To me........, I am jaded......

    Like I am saying, old woman has not got on with the "times".

    No I am NOT her mother but a close friend of hers of six years. We took her in our wings when our old group leader kicked her out for being so immature and so insecure and she is under medications for her ADD.

    Yes she was a minor when she started. I was getting two different ages of this BF of hers, once it was 21 and another he is 27 years old.

    AFter she had announced their "engage to be engaged", he told her wait for him in two to three years before getting married. He HAS told her four years ago, to wait four years until he can find a better job and straightened his life out (whatever the crime he committed). She would not elaborate too much on that. How much longer can a woman wait? She wants to have kids so bad, move to a farm, have a husband to lover her unconditionally and dogs and cats. That's fine but things have to come first before getting all that in order. [​IMG]

    I did speak to her parents and they did say they are concerned but told her to be careful and be wary. Putting her thru an emotional roller coaster isn't good for her, her expectations and her hopes would come crashing down every time he "gets moody".

    Last winter, she did say they were going to be engaged and she calls him husband, and he calls her wife. Then just recently, "engaged" again. From her FB "In Relationship (name of BF) to "Engaged to (name of bf). I'm old fashioned but calling someone on the phone "Lets get married" is the normal thing to do now?????????

    I've informed that to her sister, and her sister did agree that she has problems, had a hard life, but needs to get out and "get a life" rather than waiting for this guy to show up. Sis does not even know much about this guy except telling jokes what he said and so forth but nothing more personal. She was glad she got the second hand information because it does worry her. Her parents ARE enabling her to stay home, buying her medications and so forth. My other thought was this, does this online BF knows really whats going on?

    Being online with those silly dating services, you can be anyone you want to pretend. For me, I'd rather be honest than lie about it because it would be so hard to cover up yourself when you say one thing after another. Meeting for the first time can be akward but you can really get to know each other better in person, what's each other's quirks would be and so forth. We have told her she can either fly out to see him, see the Boston town, and all the nice things. Or he can fly or drive (he does not have a car, nor driver's lic yet) to see her. Neither one of them could because they dont have the money.

    She did tell me to "trust her gut" that this relationship is so special and so unbelievable that those two could click. I can be happy for her but its too long, not seeing each other in person, he is too shy, don't like people to take pictures of him nor would he share pictures of himself. I wished her well.

    "Exclusive relationship" I have no idea what it means either.......we old ladies need a crash course in "relationship terms"...oh the times are a-changing! Im going to be needing that when my DD becomes of age that those language lingos would bypass me. To be "engaged to be engaged" it just don't make sense to me, more like a tongue twister kind of thing.

    Yeah, I AM jaded......​
     
  8. sfw2

    sfw2 Global Menace

    So, let me get this straight. They have NEVER met in person?? And she thinks she knows this guy well enough to marry him?

    [​IMG]
     
  9. rodriguezpoultry

    rodriguezpoultry Langshan Lover

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    "Exclusive" means more along the lines of "Yeah, we get together and do stuff we want to do and we should probably just only be with each other, but I'm not ready for more than a roll in the hay...but don't you DARE do it with another person."

    As for the girl, there's nothing you can do. She will have to come to terms with it herself. When she realizes the ring is turning her finger green before he shows up, she might start realizing it. Seems as though she is really immature for her age. She hasn't reached the point where she realizes that her life is passing her by and she doesn't seem to see long-term...only short term for the moment.
     
  10. ranchhand

    ranchhand Rest in Peace 1956-2011

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    I'd be checking this guy out 16 ways from nowhere- it sound to me like he is still in prison and is planning his life for after/if he gets out. Pretty common these days, and he may well be stringing several women along.

    It really does sound like she needs some therapy and care. Best of luck to her.
     

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