What do I do about my family Christmas Dinner???

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by ginbart, Nov 28, 2009.

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  1. ginbart

    ginbart Crowing

    Mar 9, 2008
    Bloomsburg, PA
    I've had a Christmas diner for my DF's side of the family for the last 2 years. This will be the 3rd.
    My Sister, a long story short, has moved her kids around to 3 different homes in the last year, 3 different schools and I really don’t know if they go to school. [​IMG] I am very disappointed in her. [​IMG] She has lost her home because she is lazy, she doesn’t work, and now she is seeing a person of a different race. I don’t have anything against that it’s just the way they act. They were at my home a couple of months ago and they both had filthy mouths. She wanted to know if she could stay at my home overnight and I told her no, been there done that and I won‘t do it again. She and the 3 kids had stayed with us before for 2 weeks last winter. I worked came home there were dishes in the sink, cloths on the floor and she drank coffee pot after pot. She never lifted a finger to do work even after I ask. Her one son urinated in a plastic container right next to the toilet and never cleaned it. I lost it that day. BTY he’s 13. Her dog she had in the basement and it did it's business down there. When I ask her to clean it she said she did well 3 weeks later I went down stairs to find a plastic bag full of you know what under the steps. All she did was read books. If she made something to eat my DH and I couldn't eat it. Never did she buy any food.

    Now she wants to know if he can come. I don’t want her or him here but she is family and I want to see the kids. If it were up to me she would not have the kids. They are learning nothing. They have no home because they live with his mom and dad. They moved from one town and left all their belongings there. I have a lot of hard feeling against my sister as you can see. She makes my skin craw and I know I will be up tight all day if she brings him. [​IMG]

    Can anyone give me some idea’s on what to say to her in a nice way, that I don’t want him to come. Or should I just say it out right that I don't want him to come? Maybe I'll cancel the party this way I don't have to worry about it. [​IMG] Sorry I guess it wasn't a short story. [​IMG]

  2. danielle82

    danielle82 A Good Egg

    Apr 27, 2009
    Tonasket Wa
    OR just tell her sure the boyfriend can come, but she stay home. It sounds like you have more issues with her than her boyfriend, actually do you have ANY issues with her boyfriend?
  3. ginbart

    ginbart Crowing

    Mar 9, 2008
    Bloomsburg, PA
    Quote:He said a couple of things the only time I met him that I don't think should of been said in front of the kids. And he kept picking up things in my house. I didn't know if he was going to take them or not. There's just something about him. I don't know what it is and it's not his color. It's the way he was acting.
  4. I was brought up to mind my manners and if I couldn't say anything nice, to say nothing at all (I wrote quite a bit and then erased it)...
  5. saddina

    saddina Internally Deranged

    May 2, 2009
    Desert, CA
    First if the kids are not in school a quick call to CPS will get her a visit and the um... motivation to get them into school (you of course know all calls are annoymous).

    Second no one will ever be able to annoy you as much as your family, just how it works. I would decide to have a quiet family dinner for just those who live n the house, and arrange to see your neices/nephews in the week before new years (maybe offer to take the kids to see a movie or go sledding and hot chocolate out.
  6. BarkerChickens

    BarkerChickens Microbrewing Chickenologist

    Nov 25, 2007
    High Desert, CA
    Hmm....I think you may be too preoccupied with preparing dinner for DFs family to have them over as well. [​IMG] I have family that I have similar feelings about, but I don't talk to them because of it. .....kinda goes with the if I can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, except I choose to not talk to them to prevent myself from saying something (that REALLY needs to be said!). [​IMG] Family is family, but that doesn't mean you have to have them over to your house for the holidays. [​IMG]
  7. Paraclete 2

    Paraclete 2 In the Brooder

    Nov 13, 2009
    Hi Ginbart: It's clear you have issues, and it's also clear you have every right to have issues.

    Unfortunately your sisters choices in life is her business. Right or wrong in your opinion it is still her right of choice. What you have to deal with is how you will treat her for her choices. I really feel for you as it is apparent you are and she is not a responsible and trustworthy individual. I would suggest you might tell her you have no desire to be unkind but her boyfriend is not welcome for whatever reason and that she and the children are welcome but you expect her to act in a reaponsible fashion during her stay in your home. Always expect your company to behave and have good manners in your home and if they cannot respect your wishes then if would be best if they not attend. Happy Holidays to you and your. Good luck

  8. ginbart

    ginbart Crowing

    Mar 9, 2008
    Bloomsburg, PA
    Quote:I'm so glad you were brought up with manners. So was I, that's why I'm in this bind.
  9. ginbart

    ginbart Crowing

    Mar 9, 2008
    Bloomsburg, PA
    Quote:I don't have her address all she does is email me. I know the town she's in. I would love to have a quiet dinner but this isn't on Christmas day it's on the 19th. My uncle's are getting old and one of them wanted to have a Christmas party with his brother and sister. My DF has passed. So because I have the biggest house we decided to have it here. There could be 40 to 50 people here. Most of them kids. Thanks for your help.
  10. ginbart

    ginbart Crowing

    Mar 9, 2008
    Bloomsburg, PA
    Quote:Thank you Paraclete 2, I don't think she has been going with him for very long so I could say, I have no desire to be unkind but I would rather it was just family this year and he can come next year. As a matter of fact, my daughter doesn't bring her boyfriend and they have been going together for years. But it's not that he's not welcome he can come any other time, it's just family time and we all know each other. I now know what I'm trying to say, [​IMG] We can all be our selves. I don't feel like I need to entertain my family. They entertain each other. Some of us only see each other once a year. So I think I will go with that.

    Thanks everyone.
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