WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY MOTHER

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Davaroo, Jul 18, 2008.

  1. Davaroo

    Davaroo Poultry Crank

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    Leesville, SC
    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside... and dont come back until there's blood.'

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next
    week!'

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    ' Because I said so, that's why.'

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
    'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don 't exaggerate!'

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    'Stop acting like your father!'

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    'Just wait until we get home.'

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    'You are going to get it when you get home!'

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
    'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

    22. My mother taught me about TRAVLE
    'Keep it up and we're going to Fist City!'

    23. Mother taught me about GENETICS.
    'You're just like your father.'

    24. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

    26. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you .
     
  2. SundownWaterfowl

    SundownWaterfowl Overrun With Chickens

    Ha. Now thats cute! [​IMG]
     
  3. Wolf-Kim

    Wolf-Kim Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I thought you were going to post another off-colored one and get your NEW new title changed to Banned.

    I really enjoyed that. It was a good one and not even off-colored at that! See, I knew you could do it. [​IMG] [​IMG]

    -Kim
     
  4. Davaroo

    Davaroo Poultry Crank

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    Leesville, SC
    Quote:I am a man of many facets, Kim, tasteful and resolute at every turn.
     
  5. bluie

    bluie Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Hey Davaroo! How come Wolf-Kim got the same avatar as you? OOPS, off topic! Sorry! (Still curious about the answer!)[​IMG]
     
  6. Davaroo

    Davaroo Poultry Crank

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    Feb 4, 2007
    Leesville, SC
    Quote:Avatar hi-jacking. The next thing to soon-be-banned at BYC.

    That Kimmie, she's a devil.
     
  7. Year of the Rooster

    Year of the Rooster Sebright Savvy

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    omg [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  8. Wolf-Kim

    Wolf-Kim Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Quote:I AM NOT!! [​IMG]














    [​IMG]
    OOOoooo.. I find that "offensive" I'm tellinnn...and then the Mods are going to delete this one too..hm.

    -Wolf
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2008
  9. bluie

    bluie Chillin' With My Peeps

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    You two are too funny!
     
  10. Becky89*

    Becky89* Chillin' With My Peeps

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    [​IMG] that was just so cute [​IMG] I liked the My mother taught me Justice, weather, foresight, and Genetics [​IMG]
     

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