Whatever on earth possessed........


In the Brooder
11 Years
Apr 1, 2008
Ouachita Mountains, Arkansas
........that poor chicken to cross the road?

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

To die. In the rain. Alone.

Abraham Lincoln
"Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today", if a chicken has to cross the road, it should do so now.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. I have a dream, a mouth watering dream – a dream of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green peas and yeast rolls.

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

PA! OH PA! Did you pluck that chicken like I told ya’?

Isn't that intweresting? In a fwew moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accompwish its life-long dream of crwossing the woad.

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace. Chickens cross the road while you’re making other plans.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

It was a historical inevitability that the chicken rise up against the capitalistic running dogs that held it captive.

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion by the infidel fowl and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Chairman Mao
Fried chicken and chicken chow mein is the opiate of the people. Chickens come out of the barrel of a gun, ……er I mean the bullets that…

Ernesto ‘CHE’ Guevara
''It is not just a simple game, it is a weapon of the revolution,'' this chicken crossing the road is a diversion for use by our freedom fighters!

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

What chicken?

Admiral David G. Farragut
Drat the chickens and full speed ahead! If they’re crossing in front of us ram em’!

John Wayne
Tha chicken crossed the road cause it was a pilgrim, pilgrim – you got any problem with that?

Mae West
Why don’t ya come up n’ see me sometime?....oh, and bring that chicken with ya.

To – boldly – go - where - no chicken has gone before.

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. As to the chicken, it’s crossing of the road was an attempt to escape repressed rage and emotions that were building all those months in a cage while it’s father, the rooster crowed.

Let them eat chicken, chicken that has been run down by the Royal carriage when the creature crossed the Lombardy Poplar lined road.

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. I certify that eChicken has no bugs, maybe a few mites.

Osama Ben Laden
Death to the infidel chicken! We shall kill chickens as they cross the road, and all mice where ever we find them.

Winston Churchhill
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals”, but chickens are neutral and merely cross the road to escape the fray.

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? E = Many(Chickens) squared.

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

Barack Obama
That brave chicken crossed the road and party lines to vote for change, and it adored my cute perky manner. Change for you chickens is my business, that and some real folding money for me.

Sarah Palin
The chicken flew the Democratic coop and crossed over to the open uninhabited rangeland where I could get a good clean shot. We’re havin’ chicken for supper!

Cheech Marin
Whoa! Did you see that three headed chicken man? Whoa! It was green man I’m tellin’ ya’!

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pit
That chicken was abandoned and lonely so we’re gonna adopt it and we’re gonna name it F.H. Leghorn or Miss Prissy.

You mean I missed one? Shoot far!

The chicken had a hot date with Foghorn Leghorn and was forced to cross to the other side of the road for the rendezvous, sadly it was not to be, for as she crossed a 49' Mercury loaded with Saturday night revelers roared.....to be continued.

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