Why is it so hard to talk to my teacher? *New plan*

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by kargo, Sep 20, 2009.

  1. kargo

    kargo Chillin' With My Peeps

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    May 8, 2009
    Like every good story, I guess I have to start at the beginning. As you already know, I was absent for the first two days of school. When I came in on the third day, I smiled shyly at the teacher sitting at the desk. She figured I must be new, but we soon figured out that I was already on the role and I explained that I had just been absent the first two days. She told me where my assigned seat was, and I sat obligingly. I don't remember how it came up exactly, but she soon said to one of the students (or was it all of us? I know almost everyone found out the first day) that she was pregnant.

    It didn't take more than the rest of the week for me to learn that she was very nice. I soon grew very, very fond of her. Her homework took more than an hour, but I did it all of the time so that I could make grading easy on her, since I almost always made a 100. I did it so that she didn't have to worry about making me do it or fuss at me. I did it just to please her.

    From time to time, the topic of pregnancy comes up in class. The first occurrence of this was when we had a new girl come in about the second week. One of the boys felt the urge to announce that our English teacher was pregnant-in front of the teacher in her class. Then, smiling, Mrs. W looked over at the girl. "Yeah, I'm not just fat." She explained. I almost burst into laughter. It wouldn't have been that funny, but she's really skinny.
    The second time came when she brought it up herself. She was reading the announcements the other day, and she got to the lunch part. She said, "Wednesday-Barbecue." Then, I guess as an afterthought, she made a slightly disgusted face, and said, "Baby doesn't like barbecue." Oh, goodness. The way she said it was so hilarious that we all started cracking up. I bet they heard us across the hallway! Plus, she announced that the woman who was there with her was her replacement. I'm going to miss her so much. I sure wish she didn't have to leave. She's thinking she'll leave about February 20th because her due date is February 28th.
    The third time it came up was Thursday. I really can't stand many of the girls my age because they are SO immature. After we finished taking a test today, Mrs. W told us that we had permission to talk for 20 minutes. One of the girls asked her when she was due. "February." was the answer. Then the girl said, "Hey, you know how pregnant women waddle when they walk?" Anyway, then the girl continued, "You're starting waddle. You're just barely showing, though." Poor Mrs. W. She just kind of smile awkwardly and after a minute returned to her work. I think it was meant to be a light-hearted curiosity, but still it came across pretty rude, at least, to me it did.
    Then, on Friday, the pester-the-English-teacher question of the day was about how you breathe during pregnancy. That seemed awkward, too, but she was calm about it, so maybe it didn't bother her. My friend asked her if it was a boy or a girl, too. I don't know why, but I want to know the answer to some of the less awkward questions, but I never have the courage to ask. I'll sit there and think it over and over, but I can't even open my mouth. I'm really afraid of her thinking I'm some stupid, obsessed, stalking, naive, weird freshman. She says I'm a good girl, though. I wonder often what she thinks of me. One day when she got mad at some of the other girls, I put my head down on the table and sat in silence for a bit. I wonder if maybe this was a natural reaction? Submissive body language, perhaps? At any rate, sort of to make up for it, I think, she sent me to do a special errand for me and cheered me right up.
    Okay, now that I've come up with a lot of details, what do you think? Is it normal for me to be so interested? Why am I so shy? Based on what I said, do you think, if I make one wrong move and say something a little dumb, she'll despise me? *shudder* I'm really confused.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2009
  2. Blackbird

    Blackbird Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 31, 2009
    MN
    I think you need a big (chaste)hug.

    [​IMG]

    I also think your looking into it too much, you are the student, she is the teacher, she has the authority to choose what is appropraite or not. I would keep my questions to myself if they could possibly come off rude.
     
  3. Judy

    Judy Chicken Obsessed Staff Member Premium Member

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    Feb 5, 2009
    South Georgia
    You said she is skinny and not due til the end of February. I feel it is totally inappropriate that she even told the class she is pregnant at this point. Actually, as many unemployed teachers as there are out there, I don't even understand why she was employed for this year. Certainly, I would keep my mouth shut. You are not required to comment in any way at all.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2009
  4. FarmerDenise

    FarmerDenise Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I think it is natural to be curious about the pregnancy. You could go to the library and find some books on the subject, the kind intended for pregnant women. They address a lot of the questions you might have.
    Being pregnant is normal and nothing to be embarrassed about. The things that happen in a pregnancy are also normal, like the weight gain, the cravings, the waddle etc. I wouldn't worry so much about what the other students are saying or asking. Just stick to being yourself. Seems to me you are a very nice and considerate person.
    I doubt the teacher would despise any student for saying something dumb. Teachers are there to teach and they have studied psychology in order to become teachers. So they know a thing or two about teenage behavior.
    Don't worry so much about it. I'm sure you'll be fine.
    [​IMG] I agree with BB, hugs are in order.
     
  5. FarmerDenise

    FarmerDenise Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 21, 2007
    Sonoma County
    Quote:I don't see why the teacher shouldn't be allowed to teach, just because she is pregnant. It is not a contagious disease.
     
  6. Judy

    Judy Chicken Obsessed Staff Member Premium Member

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    Feb 5, 2009
    South Georgia
    Quote:I don't see why the teacher shouldn't be allowed to teach, just because she is pregnant. It is not a contagious disease.

    OK. but it should not be a topic of class discussion.
     
  7. Boyd

    Boyd Recipient of The Biff Twang

    Mar 14, 2009
    MI
    Quote:I don't see why the teacher shouldn't be allowed to teach, just because she is pregnant. It is not a contagious disease.

    OK. but it should not be a topic of class discussion.

    I agree with both of you...... Here's why......

    As a freshman, some of your health and sex ed classes probably covered some of this........

    Now, her flippantly talking about what baby likes is her probably throwing off nervous/anxious energy while she talks. Not always appropriate, but it's hard sometimes to differentiate between 14-15 year olds and 18 year olds when your body's out of wack. (what i've been told)

    I think you are normal for being curious. I'm in my 30's and I have sisters that are 16 years younger than me so.............. When my wife was pregnant, of course she got all the questions.. but they were done in home. Not school.

    If you are really curious, and from your post you seem to admire the teacher, I would ask your parents for permission to look up the subject some, and if they feel comfortable, ask the teacher about it........ but more of a 1 on 1 not a whole class discussion. It isn't the right place for it.... but if you get a break or after class minute or two.....

    There are many facets to learning, and you are learning an important one whither you realize it or not. [​IMG]

    [​IMG] in a big brotherly way
     
  8. Southernbelle

    Southernbelle Gone Broody

    Mar 17, 2008
    Virginia
    One of my teachers announced her pregnancy very early on so we would understand if she had to run from the room abruptly. We were seniors in an AP English class, so more mature, I guess. My mom had 6 kids, so I didn't think pregnancy was anything out of the ordinary. [​IMG]

    She probably doesn't know if she's having a boy or girl, yet. I have a son that was born in mid-Feb (7 years ago) and they didn't do the ultrasound until Oct.
     
  9. deb1

    deb1 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 26, 2008
    NC
    Also, part of your feelings of awkwardness and shyness is simply your age. Some people do escape the feelings of being unsure adolescents but most of us felt shy and uncertain, just like you are feeling.
     
  10. bantiesrule

    bantiesrule Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Dec 1, 2008
    Long Prairie, MN
    Quote:I agree, see if you can talk to her 1 on 1. Most mothers-to-be like to talk about what is uppermost in her mind-the coming baby. Don't be scared about asking dumb questions, I had a teacher who always said the only stupid questions are the ones you don't ask. If you ask her something she doesn't feel comfortable with, she should just tell you so nicely and see if you have other questions that she would be willing to answer. Maybe if you have a hard time bringing up the subject, see if you can get her to read this topic. (Maybe we can get her hooked on BYC just like the rest of us are [​IMG] )
     

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