Women Only, perimenopause?

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by HeatherLynn, Dec 2, 2012.

  1. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Kentucky, Cecilia
    Ok, let me start this with I don't feel as old as talking about this makes me feel right now. I have a lot of stuff going on and I just don't know what to think. I can't see my primary care because she can't fit anyone in unless its really necessary. My stuff i guess is not anything that will harm me so its not necessary. She suggested meditation, excercise and vitamines.

    Ok so for the past year girls week has been off, alot. I have been so consistant since forever and then all of a sudden I am skipping. Its been nuts. Also I have been super duper anxious. Now I will say right now that I have suffered from anxiety attacks for year and years but it feels different. I am jittery, anxious, weepy, and then pissy as heck. I hate being pissy because then I feel bad and it leads right back to being anxious and weepy. I have not had so many headaches or migraines since I went through puberty either. Used to I cuddled up to my husband to stay warm. I would be under several covers. Now he needs all the covers cause he is cold and I have a window open and a fan going BUT I would not say its hot flashes. I just feel sorta hot all night long and can't sleep. Thats the other thing I can't sleep, between feeling jittery and hot at night if I don't take a pill i can't sleep. Guys for a little over a year I have felt like I am losing my ever loving mind. I have tried meditation, herbs, exercise and nothing helps. This anxiety is really only bad at night too. Night time I am hot, jittery and anxious and half the time I end up crying in the bath tub. If somethign doesn't give i swear I am going to end up in a straight jacket. Heck maybe I am nuts but someones comment almost has me thinking I should check into perimenopause. What you guys think? I think I could handle perimenopause better than a straight jacket. Maybe. Would kill those lingering baby dreams but thats ok I still have the baby clothes to cry into. I just don't know. Oh and the jittery and anxious gets massive worse right before and during girls week. What the heck is wrong with me?

    Facts; I am only 37 and I had my last baby 3 years ago. My mom was already starting the change when she had a hysterectomy at the age of 40. My sister was 42 when the doctor said she was officially menopausal. Took her 10 years to get over that blow. Man this stinks but maybe there could be some relief in this too. i don't know how to feel. Well sorta like punching someone and crying but.....thats my new normal. This stinks. I still feel like a little girl at times and I just looked up menopause. uggg
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2012
  2. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    First off, if you don't take birth control pills, it is really not that odd to be off on your cycle. I have to keep your age in mind when replying because I am 51 and right SMACK in the middle of the whole process.

    I had regular visits from Aunt Flo until I was about 39-40, then they started fluctuating, and as I got older they fluctuated even more. Now? LMBO!!!! I can have a visit for 1-36 days. And when you get a hot flash you will certainly know it. There is NO question about that feeling. Ever taken too much Niacin?? LOL!!!

    The thing about perimenipause is that, because of the fluctuating hormones, no test is going to say YES you are there. Unless they draw blood right at the point of a hormone spike.
     
  3. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Kentucky, Cecilia
    Yea I don't take birth control at all. I haven't for at least the last 10 years. Its just I am not a moody person. Or I wasn't. Even when I had the anxiety before it was so controlable I laughed about it. The doctors had no worries. The last year I have lost my mind Deb seriously. I am not sure who the heck took me over but YIKES. I went 3 months without a visit then had 2 in a month, then skipped another month, then went back to normal. From the very first I was like clockwork regular. My hair is thinning and dry. my skin is dry. I have become my mother with the stupid window and fan in the winter. I get like physically jittery and tender places I wasn't before. I have had migraines on a regular basis for months. I never had them before unless i was trying to give up caffeine. I never even thought about this till tonight. Someone made an off comment and I was like heck no i'm too young and then ....well mom and sis. Then I looked up what it was. Don't make fun deb but i didn't even know there was such a thing. I thought menopause just surprised you one day like it did on the cosby show.

    I gotta go to the obgyn in a month anyway and I will ask then, might see a doctor before then who knows. Kinda hard to get appointments right now. She said something last year that I was approaching that age but I didn't really much listen cause well, I was only 36 for pities sake. Like I am supposed to listen to her talk about this stuff. I don't even remember her saying there was a change before menopause, granted I wasn't much listening.
     
  4. Spikes Chooks

    Spikes Chooks Chillin' With My Peeps

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    If it is really worrying you, make an appointment to see the doctor before your next obgyn appointment. It might just put your mind at ease. If your mum and sister had the menopause early, that well could be the case for you.

    I'm 52 and in the middle of it. 7 months since my last visit, and over the last 2 years or so have had hot flushes - as well as generally feeling hotter especially at night. A hot flush makes you feel like your insides are boiling..... Unmistakeable. But you might be getting what I get as well - just overall feeling a lot warmer than usual.

    I have also had anxious nights, weird bad dreams and broken sleep. Somehow it just helped when my doctor siad this was normal as part of the hormonal changes. At least when I get a weird dream now and wake up I don't get anxious I'm going mad. I just tell myself - crazy hormones, get back to sleep! It was also a bit consoling to have a blood test and be told all the usual parameters were normal.

    Maybe you will also find a checkup helps allay your concerns a little.

    I have a couple of girlfriends going through similar stuff - just a chat, even a laugh about how horrible it all is, seems to help.

    Oh, and if I wake up anxious and out of sorts in the night, I deliberately think of my chickens. No kidding, I make myself think of them and what they did that day. A kind of meditiation, I suppose.

    All the best. We can only hope it comes to an end soon.
     
  5. kacklinkelly

    kacklinkelly Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I would like to welcome you to the club - wish it was just the backyard chicken club but sure sounds like you may be knocking at the perimenapause club door. I thought I was reading about myself in your post. Perhaps it helps to know you are not alone. The age really is not a predictor. I had a friend who started in her early thirties. All I know is that if you will find the right doctor who has time for you, a friend who has patience for you and a partner who has great love for you - you will make it through just fine.

    I have chosen to accept rather than fight what is happening. I sleep with a ceiling fan and the window open. No blankets necessary. I have a fan at my desk at work and everyone knows that if I snap, it's not them and I will return to normal quickly enough. (have had to do a lot of apologizing) You may want to consider anti anxiety pills after talking with your doctor. Even if its just for a short time. Sometimes will take an adjustment or two. Also, melatonin can help with restful sleep. (Not doped up kind of sleep).

    I felt very much the way you described and can tell you that if you are willing to work through it and do what is best for you regardless of what others think, you will be better off. Talk to others going through what you are, research what you believe is best for you and go to the doctor prepared with some insight. You will feel empowered rather than crazy and you will make an informed decision. We are all in this together[​IMG].

    Oh, did I mention I got chickens and they make me laugh every day! Hopefully you have already done that :>
     
  6. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Kentucky, Cecilia
    i am reading up on this now. I have a very good doctor, problem is she is semi retired and I cannot seem to find a really good doctor to replace her with. Every doctor I call as of late is not accepting patients and the last one I tried gave me anxiety meds without even checking my history or anything. I tried to tell him my history and what was bothering me but he was so busy entering stuff in on his computer... sigh So I am still with my semi retired doctor who has no time. I may call my ob and see if they could fit me in earlier. Its the jittery, headache, moody thing thats really getting to me. I can cope with normal anxiety and heck even the attacks but this jittery thing is freaking me out. Seriously it is. And why is this only at night. I would say I get flushes during the day. Not a flash, not like what my mom had when she became the demon woman from hades. Just a , ooo honey can you crack the window a bit flush or walking outside the church for a few to cool down. At night, don't touch me I'm hot and there is not flash or flush its constant.

    Actually i'm not worried. I sorta hope it is this because that would explain so many things and i would not have to go to a nut house. I would really like to avoid that option. I am a bit sad. Honestly my hormones are up in a tissy about babies right now. My time clock is giving some finals rings I think. On the chicken thing, i have those, and ducks, and geese, and cows, and horses and goats. It does help. I was talking to my husband about it tonight and was getting a bit anxious and my 3 year old said " mommy relax, daddy go buy mommy a baby goat." Tha'ts her cure.
     
  7. kacklinkelly

    kacklinkelly Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Take a Breath my friend.. Heck, take many. The OB sounds like a great place to turn and if not able to do much, can at least give you a referral to someone qualified in your area that may be taking new patients. At the risk of sounding extremely sexist - my choice is a female doctor for these issues. The flushes come and go. Have been in the check out line at Walmart and thought I was going to have to run out the door. Didn't know what was happening. I have not had the "hot flashes" but I have had the night sweats. Don't know why they only happen at night. Don't get them during the day, only at night. I Wear summer clothes in winter and wear my hair tied up. (I live in AZ though) Use water proof makeup when I wear it. I changed my diet, reduced the caffeine. all these little things have helped. I think once you get the jitters taken care of and can get a few solid hours of sleep, you will be back to yourself in no time. Let us know how you are doing:> P.S. what do your mom and sister tell you?
     
  8. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Kentucky, Cecilia
    We are not that kind of family. My mom would consider it rude if I asked her but she would tell me about hot sweats and how its all downhill from here. I was listening to hormone rants at the age of 5 so..... I really don't want to know more on that front. My sister would make fun at the 'baby" going through this, there are issues there and I try not to poke the wasps nest. Only reason I know when she went through it is because she made a huge deal out of feeling off and thought it was something serious and when all was said and done and people kept asking she blurted it out. i do know that my sister's hair got thinner and her cholesterol raised a bit. Thats all I have overheard. Heck I am considering calling my aunt to talk about this, because she is mouthy and not shy at all. She will just lay it on the line. Actually think I very well may do that tomorrow.

    I am just wicked tired right now and cannot relax and the house is hot and I may have to cut the hoses to the wood heater if it keeps up. This is why mom has an open window, my dad has no body fat and is trying to cook us all. I don't know what to think. My husband read the article I was looking at and he thinks it all makes sense and said to make an appointment tomorrow. Doesn't even phase him I swear. Maybe I should just go buy another baby goat and hush. I don't know.
     
  9. Mtn Laurel

    Mtn Laurel Chillin' With My Peeps

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    My Coop
    By the time I was 39, I was done with menopause. Was as regular as clockwork until I had my 3rd child at the age of 37. I then breastfed him for about 18 months or so. I'd try to wean him and he'd get sick and want back at the breast so I kept swinging between weaning and feeding for quite a while. Mother Nature only visited me once after his birth and then ZIP!

    I later learned that having him in my late 30's and then breastfeeding is probably what threw me into early menopause. My mother had a hysterectomy in her early 30's so I didn't have any family experience to gain info from. I've since heard of several other women who had a similar experience after having a child in their mid to late 30's.

    The good news for me was that I'd been having so many hot flashes and mood swings between being pregnant, dealing with a baby as well as two other children, and breastfeeding that most of the menopause symptoms fit right in! It was only when my period didn't return on a regular basis that I questioned the doctor. I remember having a lot of what felt like anxiety attacks and almost dizzy spells - usually in public - during that time but that gradually went away. Still not sure if those were from menopause or from dealing with three children 24/7!

    I was heartbroken when the Dr. told me I was going into menopause. With three children in the house - one of which was a toddler - my entire life at that time was bearing and raising children. It almost felt like my reason for existing was over and I was tearful for a few days. It took me a while to accept that it didn't mean I was "old".

    The Dr. wanted to put me on hormones but I refused as I'd had a bad experience with birth control hormones some years earlier. I toughed it out and am glad I did. It took quite a few months but the heat flashes and anxiety eventually went away and I was so busy with the children that I hardly had time to notice.

    Hang in there! It will get better but it takes a while. Truthfully, I don't remember how or when I felt "normal" again, there was just a day that I realized I felt like myself again. Don't worry, you'll get there!
     
  10. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Kentucky, Cecilia
    So what are my chances of coming out of this sane. I swear. Ok I sat and looked at my journal and my calendar and its been a while where things have been a tad off. This jittery thing literally is a new thing that very well may drive me insane. It started roughly a week or so before girls week and I have never felt anything like this. Sick to my stomach around that same time too but thats been going on at least 6 months. I keep a journal and mark down little things I am feeling which is so helpful when looking back.
    I keep finding myself apologizing for being an absolute witch and then I cry. I talked to the desk at the obgyn. They gave me an appointment 3 months out. I talked to a nurse and she got me an appointment on Friday. I am marked down on the chart as possible pre menopausal. Probably should have listened better at that last appointment. I called my regular doctors office and the receptionist thinks its hormonal related due to when all of this is going on but she said the NP might still might want to see me but probably not. They are calling me back.
     

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