This is a first for me. I don't ever ask for parenting help of any kind.
But this is bothering me.
I have three kids, ages 9, 7, and 3.
My 7 year old girl (who will be 8 in Feb.) seems to be constantly lying about everything, telling stories, and so on and so forth. We can't trust anything she says anymore because you just never know.
Some examples are:
She claims to get up in the middle of the night and do things (have snacks, play with toys, take showers, etc.) when we know for a fact she has not.
She makes up stories, sometimes very eleborate ones.
Example number 1; Yesterday morning she comes to me and tells me, after we've all been up for about 3 hours already, that the prior evening the city Police called our house in the middle of the night, while everyone was sleeping, and that she answered it and they asked her if she had seen a man dressed all in black wearing a mask because someone had just robbed the local bank. She said it was a man on the phone and they said they were calling everyone in the town. She was so animated and convincing that I actually looked it up on the local news website and called the local police station to ask if this had happened. It had not.
Example number 2; A couple of months ago she told me that she had seen a fox jump onto the back of a doe deer that was grazing on our property who had a baby with it. She claims that the doe deer ran off into the woods with the fox on it's back trying to kill it (I was believing her at this point) and that then a buck deer was watching from in the woods and came out and stomped the fox off the doe. She lost me then, because she said the doe had already gone into the woods. Whether the entire story was a lie OR partially true and she exaggerated to make it more grand, I have no idea...
She will tell family members and strangers things that are not true.
Example number 1; She told her Aunt that we don't have any pillowcases at home, so Aunt went out and bought them a bunch. We always have had pillow cases.
Example number 2; When she was 5 there was an incident where she told the same Aunt that her father smacked her in the face. Obviously Aunt and family were all very concerned. She then admitted that she made it up.
Lately we have been cracking down on her hard for it. If she lies and we caught her in it, she's in trouble, we're not just brushing it off anymore. It's gone beyond a toddler or small child telling stories to us now and we are concerned that she cannot tell when she is lying or is believing her lies.
I have Anxiety disorder, sometimes I am downright Agoraphobic and even when I'm not, unannounced visitors make me very nervous to the point where I will have a panic attack.
There was a time in the past where she made up a very elaborate and well thought out story and prank complete with fake knocking on the doors and claiming there was some man here, that literally gave me a wicked panic attack because we had been having a horrible time with our prior neighbors at this point... Well later that night when her father came home and I had taken the bait Hook, Line, and Sinker, she told him that she made it all up and then apologized to me for it.
I was furious.
Today is not such a great day. My oldest son is sick, my husband is sick (but as work), I threw my back out. My middle daughter is slightly sick with the same tummy thing as us but not as bad... She is still up and running around and acting like her energetic playful self...
I spent about an hour cleaning my bedroom earlier this morning, an hour with a thrown out back while taking care of a puking kid, not fun.
All I had left to do was sweep the room and make the bed.
I left the room and told her that I was going downstairs for a cup of coffee and to rest my back for a little while and that I would be back and not to make a mess.
I secretly expected a little mess, these are kids, but my back was KILLING me and I had to go sit down.
She asked me if she could take a couple of juice boxes for her and my little DD upstairs to drink while they watched a movie. I normally do not allow drinks upstairs, but I made an exception (and hindsight is 20/20!)...
I went upstairs about 20 minutes later and my bed is SOAKED. Like someone didn't drink a drop of their juice but instead sprayed it all over my bed.
I notice at this point that my son who was sleeping in my bed when I left (my room is the only bedroom with a TV) had moved to his own bed in the other room.
I freak and squack and squeal and yell "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BED?!?!"
She comes around the corner (7yoDD) and gets this SHOCKED expression on her face like she's never seen it before and immeadiately pegs her little sister for it.
She had better grow up and be an actress that's all I'm going to say.
When my son comes back through the room to go to the bathroom (You have to go through the master to get to the upstairs bath) and hears me complaining and sees me cleaning and pulling my bed apart, HE informes me in front of her that she did it and he saw her and that's why he went to his bed, because mine was wet!
I can't really blame him for not coming to tell me, he is pretty sick...
She just stands there with this look on her face "you caught me"...
Now she's grounded for lying to me, after she did tell me that she did it and she was sorry for not coming to me as soon as it happened, and she cannot go to her cousins b-day party next week.
I understand that kids will lie because they're afraid to get in trouble... I know that to some degree that is normal.
But coupled with all of the stories she is telling, I am WORRIED... I have an Uncle who is a diagnosed Pathological Liar and I am worried sick that she could end up like that...
Is she just really creative or something or should I be finding her a Dr.? Is it a "middle" child thing?!
How should I be punishing her for lying? There doesn't seem to me to be a particular pattern, she will lie about big things and little things that don't matter...
She has said "Mommy I saw deer coming out of the barn." and then "Mommy the police called", something innocent and then something that could be serious....
She is driving me NUTS! and I'm terrified that my nearly 4 year old DD is going to pick it up from her!
But this is bothering me.
I have three kids, ages 9, 7, and 3.
My 7 year old girl (who will be 8 in Feb.) seems to be constantly lying about everything, telling stories, and so on and so forth. We can't trust anything she says anymore because you just never know.
Some examples are:
She claims to get up in the middle of the night and do things (have snacks, play with toys, take showers, etc.) when we know for a fact she has not.
She makes up stories, sometimes very eleborate ones.
Example number 1; Yesterday morning she comes to me and tells me, after we've all been up for about 3 hours already, that the prior evening the city Police called our house in the middle of the night, while everyone was sleeping, and that she answered it and they asked her if she had seen a man dressed all in black wearing a mask because someone had just robbed the local bank. She said it was a man on the phone and they said they were calling everyone in the town. She was so animated and convincing that I actually looked it up on the local news website and called the local police station to ask if this had happened. It had not.
Example number 2; A couple of months ago she told me that she had seen a fox jump onto the back of a doe deer that was grazing on our property who had a baby with it. She claims that the doe deer ran off into the woods with the fox on it's back trying to kill it (I was believing her at this point) and that then a buck deer was watching from in the woods and came out and stomped the fox off the doe. She lost me then, because she said the doe had already gone into the woods. Whether the entire story was a lie OR partially true and she exaggerated to make it more grand, I have no idea...
She will tell family members and strangers things that are not true.
Example number 1; She told her Aunt that we don't have any pillowcases at home, so Aunt went out and bought them a bunch. We always have had pillow cases.
Example number 2; When she was 5 there was an incident where she told the same Aunt that her father smacked her in the face. Obviously Aunt and family were all very concerned. She then admitted that she made it up.
Lately we have been cracking down on her hard for it. If she lies and we caught her in it, she's in trouble, we're not just brushing it off anymore. It's gone beyond a toddler or small child telling stories to us now and we are concerned that she cannot tell when she is lying or is believing her lies.
I have Anxiety disorder, sometimes I am downright Agoraphobic and even when I'm not, unannounced visitors make me very nervous to the point where I will have a panic attack.
There was a time in the past where she made up a very elaborate and well thought out story and prank complete with fake knocking on the doors and claiming there was some man here, that literally gave me a wicked panic attack because we had been having a horrible time with our prior neighbors at this point... Well later that night when her father came home and I had taken the bait Hook, Line, and Sinker, she told him that she made it all up and then apologized to me for it.
I was furious.
Today is not such a great day. My oldest son is sick, my husband is sick (but as work), I threw my back out. My middle daughter is slightly sick with the same tummy thing as us but not as bad... She is still up and running around and acting like her energetic playful self...
I spent about an hour cleaning my bedroom earlier this morning, an hour with a thrown out back while taking care of a puking kid, not fun.
All I had left to do was sweep the room and make the bed.
I left the room and told her that I was going downstairs for a cup of coffee and to rest my back for a little while and that I would be back and not to make a mess.
I secretly expected a little mess, these are kids, but my back was KILLING me and I had to go sit down.
She asked me if she could take a couple of juice boxes for her and my little DD upstairs to drink while they watched a movie. I normally do not allow drinks upstairs, but I made an exception (and hindsight is 20/20!)...
I went upstairs about 20 minutes later and my bed is SOAKED. Like someone didn't drink a drop of their juice but instead sprayed it all over my bed.
I notice at this point that my son who was sleeping in my bed when I left (my room is the only bedroom with a TV) had moved to his own bed in the other room.
I freak and squack and squeal and yell "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BED?!?!"
She comes around the corner (7yoDD) and gets this SHOCKED expression on her face like she's never seen it before and immeadiately pegs her little sister for it.
She had better grow up and be an actress that's all I'm going to say.
When my son comes back through the room to go to the bathroom (You have to go through the master to get to the upstairs bath) and hears me complaining and sees me cleaning and pulling my bed apart, HE informes me in front of her that she did it and he saw her and that's why he went to his bed, because mine was wet!
I can't really blame him for not coming to tell me, he is pretty sick...
She just stands there with this look on her face "you caught me"...
Now she's grounded for lying to me, after she did tell me that she did it and she was sorry for not coming to me as soon as it happened, and she cannot go to her cousins b-day party next week.
I understand that kids will lie because they're afraid to get in trouble... I know that to some degree that is normal.
But coupled with all of the stories she is telling, I am WORRIED... I have an Uncle who is a diagnosed Pathological Liar and I am worried sick that she could end up like that...
Is she just really creative or something or should I be finding her a Dr.? Is it a "middle" child thing?!
How should I be punishing her for lying? There doesn't seem to me to be a particular pattern, she will lie about big things and little things that don't matter...
She has said "Mommy I saw deer coming out of the barn." and then "Mommy the police called", something innocent and then something that could be serious....
She is driving me NUTS! and I'm terrified that my nearly 4 year old DD is going to pick it up from her!
